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by Royal Society of Pandas (Abarcelos)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Barely there Kagehina, Drinking Games, Eventual Happy Ending, Everyone is very gay, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, I like to think I'm funny, Just assume any ship can show up at any given time with little screentime, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, SO, Slow Build, YouTube, a bunch of youtuber references, and also all the characters, it has been pointed out to me that this is not in fact Light Angst, kuroo swears a lot, will update the tags as the story progresses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-07-14 03:29:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 45,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7151264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abarcelos/pseuds/Royal%20Society%20of%20Pandas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>" 'Hey, Bokuto?' Kuroo interrupted his friend. They were both sitting on his couch, Bokuto telling some silly story that happened the previous weekend and Kuroo reading the comments on his latest video. He was quite happy with how it turned out – a lot of people seemed to enjoy it and he even saw a few memes on tumblr titled ‘The actual signs as Kuroo’s signs’. There was only one thing bothering him.<br/>'Yeah, bro?' Bokuto answered, a little annoyed for having his great story be interrupted.<br/>'Do you know who Kozume Kenma is?' "<br/>--<br/>Everyone is a youtuber and tumblr ships KuroKen. A lot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hey There My Kitty Cats

**Author's Note:**

> the old “my youtube commenters are not-so-subtly shipping me with you, another youtuber, and now I’m binge watching all your videos and crap now I have a crush” prompt.  
> So this is a thing that's happening... i don't know how to explain it, I just wanted a youtuber au. So here's a youtuber au.

**theoriginallolcat ** has uploaded a new video titled:

** The Horoscope According To Me **

_1 hour ago                          41,701 views_

The video started with a man sitting on a black chair. His blurred out bedroom had white walls and a twin bed with a red comforter and at least 10 pillows. There were trophies in his shelves and volleyballs scattered on the floor. A black cat seemed to be sleeping on pillow #7.

The man appeared to be in his early twenties, with crazy black hair and a fringe covering his right eye; he was holding a magazine targeted at girls aged 9-13, laughing at something in it. Without looking up from the article, he said quietly, in between chuckles:

“Dude, they have 4 pages on how to french kiss, what the fuck?!”

The video cut to a red screen, where an animated black cat with a fringe swept to the side lazily made its way to the middle of the screen. Once it sat down, big bolded letter appeared next to it, spelling KUROO TETSUROU. Slowly, it faded back to the messy bedroom and Kuroo.

“Hey there my kitty cats!” Kuroo screamed excitedly “So today I was reading this teen magazine for… scientific purposes and I found out that apparently Scorpio is considered the worst star sign, can you believe this? As a Scorpio, I am outraged” Kuroo then threw the magazine behind his shoulder, accidentally hitting the sleeping cat, who meowed loudly in protest.

“SHI-“ A technical difficulties screen appeared for barely a second before it went back to Kuroo “Long story short, I have decided to make my own horoscope, because I’m an amazingly kind and caring human being, and that shitty pre-teen magazine offended me by saying otherwise”

The video continued, with the man making several remarks about the different star signs ( _“I literally only know one Taurus person, but she’s pretty cool so you’re probably cool too if you’re Taurus” “If you’re Aries you can burn in the fiery pits of hell”)_ and spending three minutes talking about how great Scorpio was and how everyone who believed that they weren’t was wrong.

Once he gave every sign the attention it deserved, Kuroo said his goodbye and the end card appeared on the screen. It was simple, with a link to subscribe to his channel, all his social media usernames and a link to the previous video ( _“I Am The Tooth Fairy”_ ).

 

 **Brendon Urie’s Ass**          _20 minutes ago_

anyone else thinking kuroo and kenma should collab? i mean, they just have so much in common!

_105 likes_

 

 **Hannah L.**                       _5 minutes ago_

omg he said libras are nice and he likes them a lot !!! kenma is a libra !!!!

_13 likes_

 

* * *

 

 

“So I’m in the backseat crying. Akaashi says we need to return the panda to the zoo, and then the breaks go out! Suddenly I’m—“

“Hey, Bokuto?” Kuroo interrupted his friend. They were both sitting on his couch, Bokuto telling some silly story that happened the previous weekend and Kuroo reading the comments on his latest video. He was quite happy with how it turned out – a lot of people seemed to enjoy it and he even saw a few memes on tumblr titled ‘The actual signs as Kuroo’s signs’. There was only one thing bothering him.

“Yeah, bro?” Bokuto answered, a little annoyed for having his great story be interrupted.

“Do you know who Kozume Kenma is?”

Bokuto blinked and thought for a while “I’ve… heard the name before, I just don’t know _where_. Why?”

“Well, some people have been telling me I should do a collab with him for a couple months now, but ever since my last video I’ve been getting a lot more of those comments”

“Okay, so he’s a youtuber. Problem solved. Back to the panda”

“Hang on, I’m gonna google him” Kuroo typed in the name on the search bar in his phone’s browser and waited for the page to load. He was greeted with a Youtube link to KenmaKGames, twitter and a few wikia pages. On the side there was some information about the guy and a few photos.

He was cute, Kuroo had to admit.

Bokuto moved over to look at his friend’s phone. “What’s up with his hair?” He took Kuroo’s phone to get a closer look at this Kenma kid. “Looks like pudding”

“Give me that back!” Kuroo yelled and forcibly grabbed the phone from Bokuto’s hand. He looked at the pictures of Kenma, the cat-like eyes and the bad bleach job. It did look a little like a pudding, but in a cute way. Yeah, Tetsurou definitely didn’t mind doing a collab with pudding head.

“So what kind of videos does he do?” Bokuto asked.

“It’s a gaming channel” Kuroo replied while going through the search results “Apparently he’s famous for not reacting while playing horror games”

“Aha! I knew I’d heard his name before!” His friend exclaimed “I watched a video where he played P.T. like he was playing minecraft, that’s not normal!”

“I don’t know what that is, Bokuto”

“It’s this super creepy game – well actually it was not the full game, but still. A bunch of people played it on YouTube and most of them fell off the chair at some point. But the most this guy did was, like, raise his eyebrows, I’m telling you he’s not human”

Kuroo clicked the YouTube link and quickly scrolled through the videos. They were mostly him playing games (lots of horror games and lots of Pokémon), but there were a few vlogs and even a weekly podcast he made with some other YouTubers.

He clicked one of the videos to watch it. “Cloudberry Kingdom Part 5 | KenmaKGames”. The video was over 20 minutes long, which is a lot more than Kuroo is used to. He watched only the first couple minutes, but it quickly became clear to him that Kenma is _really good._ If it were Kuroo playing that game, he’d have walked into the lava things at least 10 times by now.

Kenma clears the level in only a few tries, never getting angry when he dies or being rurprised by the sudden lava pillars. His commentary is mostly talking about what he thinks of the game so far (he likes it) what he’s currently working on (a Pokémon Y gameplay) and what his cat has been doing for the past few days (sleeping, mostly).

It shouldn’t be funny, but the tone of apathy in Kenma’s voice made it so, expecially when he died and all he would say was “oh. I fell down a hole again” in the calmest voice.

Kuroo paused the video after Kenma cleared the second level, but only because Bokuto was looking at him impatiently.

“Are you done stalking him?” Bokuto asked.

“I’m not stalking” Kuroo said matter-of-factly “I’m… gathering information to see if I really wanna collab with him”

“Suuuure you are. So what’s the verdict?”

Kuroo shrugged “I’ll follow him on twitter, subscribe to the channel, send the guy an email and see what happens then”

“Solid plan. Can I go back to the story now? Where even was I?”

“Akaashi said you had to return the panda to the zoo and the breaks went out” Testurou continued to go through Kenma’s channel. The guy was actually rather successful, 2,501,326 subscribers, but it shouldn’t be too difficult to contact him. Kenma didn’t appear to collab that much, only with Hinata Shouyou (huh, mutual friend. _Nice_ ) and a silver-haired boy named Lev, but Kuroo Tetsurou was now _committed._ This was going to happen.

“Oh, right! So there we are, doing 50 in a 35—“

 

* * *

 

  **theoriginallolcat** started following **kenmak**                 3h

 

* * *

 

**kenmak** started following **theoriginallolcat**                                          1h

 

* * *

 

 

 **from:**                 [tetsuroukuroocontact@gmail.com](mailto:tetsuroukuroocontact@gmail.com)

 **to:**                           [kenmakcontact@gmail.com](mailto:kenmakcontact@gmail.com)

 **date:**                      1 June 2015 at 21:14

 **subject:**                 Collab Proposition

 **mailed-by:**          gmail.com

 **encryption:**        Standard (TLS)

Hi Kenma,

My name is Kuroo Tetsurou and I’ve recently found your channel through my subscribers. They wanted me to do a collab with you and I really liked that idea since we both seem to share the same kind of viwers and we both currently live in Tokyo.

If you want to talk more about it, feel free to contact me through this email.

Best regards,

Kuroo.

 

* * *

 

 

 **Anonymous asked** : kuroo and kenma are now following each other on twitter! do you think they’ll do a collab?

 **royal-society-of-pandas** **said** : IF THEY DO I WILL DIE IM ALREADY DYING JUST CAUSE THEY FOLLOWED EACH OTHER

 


	2. He Has a Cat And That's All That Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s wrong?” Lev asked him.  
> “Someone wants to do a collab with me” Kenma opened the email and did a quick read. It was all pretty standard (he assumed, he never had received a collab proposition) and he had honestly no idea what to do “It’s that Kuroo guy my viewers keeping talking about”  
> “Oh, you should definitely do it then!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow guys. Just..... wow. Thank you so much for all the support <333 Read the end notes for some important stuff

**KenmaKGames** has uploaded a new video titled:

** The Gamercast #38 | KenmaKGames **

25 minutes ago                                 3,029 views

 

The video started with a simple white text over a black screen _“Recorded on the 2 nd of June 2015_”. It then faded into three people sitting on the couch, all holding controllers and with microphones set up in front of them—a blonde on the left, a silver-haired in the middle and a ginger on the right. A Himalayan cat laid in the blonde’s lap, sleepily blinking its eyes while it was being pet.

“Hello everyone, welcome to this week’s Gamercast” The blonde told the camera “As always I’m your host, Kenma and I’m here with my friends”

“I’m Lev” The silver-haired boy said.

“And I’m Shouyou!” The ginger waved his arms in an exaggerated greeting.

“And today we’re playing Mario Party 8” Kenma said as a small box appeared on the screen, showing the character selection screen of the game.

“I never played Mario Party 8 before” Shouyou told them. Kenma looked offended on a personal level “Honestly, I played up until three then after that I was like ‘who cares’”

“But it’s the best one!” Lev told him “Whatever, just don’t pick Waluigi, he’s mine”

“Dibs on Princess Peach!” Shouyou exclaimed “Ugh, I hate the wiimote, this thing sucks. I think _that’s_ why I never played Mario Party 8”

“Okay, I’ll take Yoshi” Kenma said quietly.

“Alright. Kenma” Shouyou called “Let’s talk videogame news. So Steam is now offering refunds, what do you think of that? Offering refunds for a digital product”

“I like that they’re offering refunds, but I do think they’re being too generous about it”

“It feels like—I don’t know, I think people are gonna abuse this somehow” Lev stated as he bought some Twice Candy.

The refund discussion went on for a while longer. Throughout the video they also talked about buying physical copies of games, Fallout 4, Kenma’s Pokémon Y gameplay, the DOOM teaser and how much Hinata hates motion control. The latter also received around 20 texts from his boyfriend, Kageyama Tobio, during the podcast but said that he was going to ignore them for now (“He’s just freaking out about something stupid, I’ll deal with that when I get home”)

In the end, Lev ends up winning (“It’s the power of Waluigi!”) and they wrap up with the usual “click on everyone’s face to subscribe to them, don’t forget to leave a thumbs up to support the channel and we’ll see you next week” from Kenma.

 

 **kirbyisthebest**                                  _7 minutes ago_

HINATA AND KAGEYAMA ARE THE CUTEST!! I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE WAS FREAKING OUT ABOUT!

_30 likes_

 

* * *

 

 

“So what was Tobio freaking out about?” Kenma asked Shouyou once they turned the camera off.

“My family is visiting us tomorrow and he’s pulling his hair out ‘cause the living room walls are painted in different shades of blue” Shouyou said, scrolling through the texts “And also I gotta buy some orange juice cause that’s all my little sister drinks”

Hinata quickly grabbed his stuff, muttering an apology for not being able to stay and help them tidy the mess of cables, lights and cameras. After the living room was back in order, Kenma and Lev sat on the couch, laptops in hand. Lev opened Sony Vegas and resumed editing one of his videos while Kenma checked his email. He left out a quiet “Huh” upon seeing an email that was not like the other ones.

“What’s wrong?” Lev asked him.

“Someone wants to do a collab with me” Kenma opened the email and did a quick read. It was all pretty standard (he assumed, he never had received a collab proposition) and he had honestly no idea what to do “It’s that Kuroo guy my viewers keeping talking about”

“Oh, you should definitely do it then!”

“Why?”

“’Cause then tumblr would freak out, and that’s always funny” Lev told him.

“That’s not a good reason at all” Kenma was just staring at the email. _We both seem to share the same kind of viewers and we both currently live in Tokyo._ They did appear to share the same viewers, with the amount of comments Kenma got asking him to collab with one Kuroo Tetsurou. The internet was also convinced that they were in love, but Shouyou once told him that the internet thought everyone was in love, so he didn’t make much of it.

 “Just watch a few of his videos and see if you wanna collab with him, that’s what people usually do”

A quick google search told Kenma that Kuroo Tetsurou’s channel was theoriginallolcat, a successful vlogging channel with over five million subscribers. They didn’t have much in common, but Kenma liked his cat, and the guy was good looking so that is always a plus. Also, the cat.

“Are you watching a video?” Lev asked. Kenma nodded “Is he nice? Is he funny? Is he hot?”

Lev put his laptop down and looked at Kenma’s screen. The video was about his experiences working in retail and, at some point, the man’s cat had made its way to his shoulder. So now Kuroo was talking about a woman who thought that she could return a shirt without actually having the shirt with her while having a cat moving around his shoulders and head.

“Oh, he’s hot. You should definitely do it” Lev said “Also, he has a cat”

 _I can’t say Lev doesn’t know me well_ Kenma thought to himself.

“He’s… weird” he told his friend “But he seems nice”

“Are you gonna do it, then?” Lev asked

Kenma paid attention to the video. Kuroo was talking about his co-workers, about how he had to do their work for them, and the racist American who he had to help once. The Persian cat kept playing with his hair and poking his cheek (and apparently its name was Batnyan, how _dorkier_ could this guy get?). Overall, it was an endearing video.

“Yeah” Kenma answered “I think I am”

“Neat”

“Lev, weren’t you going shopping with Yaku at five?” They looked at the computers clock which marked 16:50.

“Shit”

 

* * *

 

**From:** [kenmakcontact@gmail.com](mailto:kenmakcontact@gmail.com)

**to:**                           [tetsuroukuroocontact@gmail.com](mailto:tetsuroukuroocontact@gmail.com)

 **date:**                      2 June 2015 at 18:20

 **subject:** **Re:** Collab Proposition

 **mailed-by:**           gmail.com

 **encryption:**         Standard (TLS)

  
Kuroo,

Thank you for the offer; I would enjoy doing a collab with you. I believe it would be better if we exchanged cell phone numbers to make contact easier. You can text me at 090 778 333 to decide the details of the videos.

I am waiting for your response, and thank you again for contacting

Kenma.

 

* * *

 

 From: Unknown Number

21:08 Hey Kenma, it’s Kuroo!

21:08 Wanna decide what we’re going to do for the videos?

 

To: Kuroo Tetsurou (Youtube)

21:11 Hi Kuroo

21:11 Sure

 

From: Kuroo Testurou (Youtube)

21:12 What did you have in mind?

 

To: Kuroo Testurou (Youtube)

21:14 Since my channel is a gaming channel, we’ll probably play a game, so I think it’d be better to record in my apartment since I already have all the gear set up. And if you come on a Monday, you can participate in the Gamercast (the weekly gaming podcast I do with my roommate, Lev, and my friend, Shouyou).

21:14 How do you feel about horror games?

 

From: Kuroo Testurou (Youtube)

21:15 Yeah, that sounds great. I’m free next Monday. Also I’m terrified of them.

 

To: Kuroo Testurou (Youtube)

21:17 You sent Kuroo Testurou (Youtube) your location

21:18 We’re playing a horror game then

 

From: Kuroo Testurou (Youtube)

21:20 dude what did i ever do to you :(

 

* * *

  

 **Kuroo <3**  @theoriginallolcat       18min

 **@kenmak** is being mean to me make him stop

                |

 **DOOMPANTS** @frostythesnowqueer     3min

 **@theoriginallolcat @kenmak** aaaaaaaand I’m dead

 

 **由紀** @くろい ねこ 1min

 **@theoriginallocat @kenmak** JESUS I AM READY FOR YOU COME AND TAKE ME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A nice Mario Party 8 let's play:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6yE7iKUh-s
> 
> DECIDE STUFF THAT HAPPENS IN THE FIC  
> at the end of every chapter, there'll be a poll in my twitter where you can decide some stuff that I put in the fic! And follow for updates on the fic progress and some sketches :D
> 
> LINK FOR THE POLL: https://twitter.com/abarcelos_/status/742026368440016896
> 
> Remember that it's only available for a day  
> (Edit: i done fucked up and put outlast twice on the poll. Ignore the second one)


	3. Oikawa Tooru Needs To Get His Shit Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo imagined it might have looked really weird for Bokuto to find his best friend on the couch wearing only boxer briefs while embracing another friend (a committed man, by the way) who was crying. It probably looked really weird. “I need to find a new place for my spare key” Kuroo mumbled to himself then turned to Bokuto. “You have literally the worst timing”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly iwaoi, ngl.  
> This took longer than I thought it would, university is killing me, I have so much shit to do please kill me.  
> I'm not entirely happy with this chapter but I'm seriously sleep deprived and making a watercolour project while writing this, my brain is officially fried

**Oikawa Tooru** has uploaded a new video titled:

** The Boyfriend Tag | with IWA-CHAN **

_3 weeks ago_                                        _1,246,223 views_

 

There were two men sitting in front of the camera. The one on the right was looking lovingly at the one on the left, who was complaining about having dog hair all over his shirt.

“Iwa-chan, that shirt is horrendous either way” Oikawa told his boyfriend while resting his head on the other man’s shoulder.

“[censored] off!” Iwaizumi pushed Oikawa away, but, despite his mean words, he was smiling.

There was a hard cut and suddenly the two were back sitting upright next to each other. “Hello, beauties!” Oikawa greeted with a giant smile on his face “Today I’m here with Iwaizumi Hajime, aka my boyfriend. Say hi to them, Hajime”

Iwaizumi offered a small nod and a quiet “hey”.

“And we’re gonna be doing something called ‘The Boyfriend Tag’, which is just a bunch of questions about our relationship” Oikawa explained “Shall we begin? The first one is ‘Where did you two meet?”

“Do I answer or do you?” Iwaizumi asked.

“You can go”

“Okay, we met when we were five, so that’s 18 years ago” The man smiled as he began remembering the day he met his best friend and love of his life “I don’t remember all the details cause it was so long ago, but I had just moved to a new neighbourhood and had no friends.

“So one day I’m just playing by myself in this park, right, and suddenly a kid starts crying really, _really_ loudly. I went up to him, probably to tell him to stop crying already, but then I realise that he was crying ‘cause this slightly bigger child had stepped on his sand castle. Obviously I go up to the idiot, try to punch him, get kicked in the stomach, next thing I know the crying kid is calling me his hero and saying we’d be best friends forever. Never did managed to get rid of him”

“And you never will” Oikawa pressed a light kiss in Iwaizumi’s cheek, making the latter blush. “Right, next is ‘How did you start dating?’ That was on our high school graduation”

“Trashykawa finished his class president speech and just kissed me in front of everyone. I wanted to kill you”

“You kissed me back, I consider that a win. ‘Where was your first date?’”

“Ugh, [censored] if I know” Iwaizumi grumbled.

“Iwa-chan, how dare you”

“We’ve been friends since we were five and dating since we were 18, at this point I have no idea what were dates and what was just two friends hanging out”

“I think—“ Oikawa started “I think it was the day we confessed to each other. We got some Thai takeout and went to my house”

“Yeah, I think that was a date then. We laid in your backyard and stargazed for hours. You started naming all these constellations but if I’m being honest, I was not looking at the stars”

“Iwa-chan is so romantic when he wants to be” Oikawa smiled teasingly. It didn’t appear in the video, but Iwaizumi took his boyfriend’s hand in his and intertwined their fingers. They stayed like that for the remaining questions, throughout all the teasing and snarky comebacks. Whenever they said something romantic or went too deep down memory lane, their grip became stronger.

The last question was “Who is the other’s best friend”

“An annoying kid who was crying in the park when I was five” Iwaizumi replied.

 

 **Princess Leia**                                        _1 week ago_

iwaoi collabs are always the cutest <3 ilysm

_590 likes_

 

 **Abigail**                                  _5 days ago_

you really don’t have to say I love you to say I love you, huh

_4233 likes_

 

 **Kath97**                                   _2 weeks ago_

BEST COUPLE EVER ♡♡♡♡

_302 likes_

* * *

 

 

Kuroo woke up Sunday morning with a headache. _Why the hell did he let Bokuto convince him to open a bottle of tequila?_ God, he needed some aspirin and about two litters of water. Well, it could be worse. The headache wasn’t even that bad, they only took a few shots; Bokuto had once convinced Kuroo to drink an entire bottle of cheap vodka with him and they both ended up covered in glitter and—

Anyway, it could be a lot worse.

He went to his kitchen, got a glass of water and chugged it. He felt a lot better after that, he could even see clearer. So much clearer, in fact, that Kuroo noticed the man lying face down on his couch.

Kuroo let out a sigh and walked towards the couch. He poked the man lightly in a failed attempt of getting him to wake up. “Oikawa” He called “Oikawa wake the fuck up” Oikawa grunted and shook Kuroo’s hand off, but didn’t wake up.

“OIKAWA!” Kuroo screamed and the man immediately jolted awake. Kuroo took a second to look at his friend’s face – he had bloodshot eyes with dark circles under them, his clothes were crumpled and he stank of booze “Jesus, you smell like liver failure. How many did you have last night?”

“I… I don’t know” Oikawa’s voice was hoarse, so Kuroo went back to the kitchen to get him some water and the aspirin.

“Why do you never go to Bokuto’s? Or Daichi’s? Or anyone else’s?”

“I don’t know where they keep their spare keys” Oikawa answered and accepted the glass and medicine.

Kuroo sat down on the chair across from his friend, waiting for him to drink the water. “What happened, Tooru?”

“Iwa-chan and I had an argument”

“Yeah, but you guys literally argue 24/7. Seriously, back when we lived together I would hear you guys argue during sex”

Oikawa looked down at his empty glass. “He said he was getting tired of putting up with me”

_Oh._

_Shit._

Kuroo would _think_ that after knowing each other for over 15 years and dating for five, Oikawa realised Iwaizumi was there to stay, but apparently insecurities aren’t that easy to get over.

“Tooru” Kuroo said softly “You know he didn’t mean it. Hajime loves you, okay? Did you even give him time after he said that?” Oikawa crossed his legs and looked at his feet.

Kuroo let out a sigh. “Let me guess. You stormed off immediately after he said that, went to a bar and got five shots of vodka” The man got up and sat next to his friend, putting an arm around him. Oikawa rested his head on Kuroo’s shoulder and tears started streaming down his cheeks.

Suddenly the door of the apartment burst open. “BRO, YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED!” Bokuto screamed. Then he stopped. The three men looked at each other for a few moments, unsure of what to do.

Kuroo imagined it might have looked really weird for Bokuto to find his best friend on the couch wearing only boxer briefs while embracing another friend (a committed man, by the way) who was crying. It probably looked really weird. “I need to find a new place for my spare key” Kuroo mumbled to himself then turned to Bokuto. “You have _literally_ the worst timing”

Bokuto looked at Kuroo, then at Oikawa, and then back at Kuroo. “You know what, I’m just gonna chill in your bedroom while you guys deal with whatever this is.” Bokuto kept talking while going towards the bedroom. “Don’t wanna interrupt. Hey Oikawa, how are you? No, don’t answer that, I’ve done fucked up. Yes I’m going to the bedroom where I can do no more fuck ups. Yes, thank you excuse me, thank you, I’m sorry” He entered the room and closed the door behind him.

“You know, his fuck up actually made me feel a bit better” Oikawa stated after a while.

“Yeah, Bokuto does that” Kuroo told him “You know Iwaizumi is gonna show up here soon, right? You have to talk to him”

“I know” Oikawa wiped his tears on his sleeves. “Thank you, Tetsu-chan.”

Iwaizumi got there about half an hour later. Oikawa was talking to Bokuto in the kitchen, having his third cup of tea, when the doorbell rang. ( _The doorbell, would you look at that, someone remembered it is a thing that exists)._

“Hey, Kuroo. Is Tooru here?” Iwaizumi asked once Kuroo opened the door, and he looked like he didn’t get any sleep that night.

“Yeah he’s in the kitchen, come in” Kuroo turned towards the kitchen and yelled “Bokuto, come here bro let me show you something in my office”

“What are you gonna show me?” Bokuto called.

“I don’t fucking know, my bookshelf. Just come here”

“Bro, what the hell are you—oh” Bokuto’s eyes widened and Iwaizumi gave him a small wave. “Yeah, bro, let’s see that uh… that bookshelf”

“Okay, let’s go” Kuroo said as he started to push his friend towards the corridor “Oikawa, I know you’re hiding under the table, if you could please get your shit together before lunchtime that’d be great, I don’t have enough food for all you people”

“Do you think they’ll be alright?” Bokuto asked once they were in Kuroo’s office.

“I think they’ll be just fine.”

 

* * *

 

 

In the end, Oikawa did manage to get his shit together before lunchtime. Iwaizumi apologised for the inconvenience they both caused (Oikawa just said “Never change where you keep your spare key, Tetsu-chan”)(Kuroo was _definitely_ changing where he kept his spare key).

Bokuto, on the other hand, ended up staying for lunch, which ended up only being a fish filet and some leftover soup because Kuroo could not be bothered to do anything more complicated than that.

“Hey, what did you wanna say when you arrived here?” Kuroo asked after they were done eating.

“Oh, right! I got us tickets for Jurassic World tomorrow!” Bokuto then showed Kuroo a receipt on his phone as to make a point.

“Bro, I can’t, tomorrow I’m shooting with Kenma”

“That’s tomorrow? Already? You work fast”

Kuroo raised an eyebrow. “What the hell does that mean?”

“Nothing, nothing” Bokuto waved his hand dismissively “What do I do with the other ticket now?”

“Uhh… Akaashi?” Kuroo suggested. “And I literally mean ‘do Akaashi’, I can’t handle that sexual tension much longer”

“I guess I could ask him. And also, fuck off”

“Just a suggestion, I want only the best for you my owl-haired friend”

Bokuto didn’t look convinced, but decided to drop the topic. “Do you know what you guys are gonna be playing tomorrow?”

“He said it’s uh- hang on let me check” Kuroo went back to his and Kenma’s texts of two days ago. It turned out that yeah, Kenma was a really cool guy and they ended up texting each other a lot—about Kenma’s roommate, about their friends, their cats, the anime Kuroo was currently watching and crying over, how Kenma’s having trouble with a particular level in his MMORPG game, their cats. “He says it’s called Outlast. Should I try to find out what it is?”

“If you do, you won’t get in that train tomorrow, trust me. Just be careful about where you hide and don’t let the camera’s battery run out” Bokuto told him.

Welp. Kuroo was fucked.

 

* * *

 

 

 **Kozume Kenma**   @kenmak                         30 min

Shooting with **@theoriginallolcat** today

 

 **Kuroo <3**  @theoriginallolcat                       27 min

 **@kenmak** look at his “excited” face

[attached image]

 

* * *

 

 

 **dracogayfoy  asked:**         DID YOU SEE THE SELFIE KUROO TOOK WITH KENMA AND PIE? I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED

  
**kittykenma answered:** I DID AND HAVE ASCENDED TO HEAVEN MY SOUL IS FREE MY SKIN IS CLEAR AND I ACED ALL MY EXAMS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: OUTLAST and kitty playdate  
> Kuroo screams a lot.
> 
> Twitter poll (up for 24 hours) : https://twitter.com/abarcelos_/status/745733190942326784


	4. Next Stop: Scotland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can’t believe we just played that” Kuroo said while holding Pie maybe with a little more force than he should be.  
> “It wasn’t that bad, honestly.”  
> “I fell off the chair twice, Kenma”  
> Oh, Kenma remembered that. He found it rather amusing if he was being honest. He had never in his life seen someone as scared of horror games and the dark as Kuroo was. It wasn’t something bad, just a little funny.  
> “It’s not my fault”  
> “I have a few ‘hey we should play outlast’ texts that beg to differ, you sadist”  
> “C’mon, Kuroo, stop complaining, we need to record your video before Shouyou gets here”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished my last project, turning it in on Wednesday and then I'm free!!! foramonth And I'll be able to draw lot's of stuff that's not for uni andprobablywon't And I could update 1000 chapters at once cause i have all the time in the world idon'tandit'snotgonnahappen.
> 
> I couldn't fit the kitty playdate in this chapter, but it's happening soon!

 

 **KenmaKGames** _uploaded a new video titled:_

** Outlast (with Kuroo Tetsurou) | KenmaKGames **

_2 hours ago                                        109,088 views_

 

The room was the same one Kenma usually used to record his PC games videos, with cream-coloured walls and a bookshelf with few books and a lot of figurines. Kenma himself was nowhere to be seen. Instead, Kuroo sat alone on the left side of the screen looking a bit nervous.

“Do we _really_ have to turn the lights off?” He asked someone out of frame.

“Yes” Kenma said softly.

Kuroo started grunting like a 5 year old kid who had just been ordered to eat a plate of broccoli. He ran his hands through his hair a couple times, making it even messier than usual. The lights went out and Kuroo grabbed the nearest plushie (a bulbasaur) and hugged it tightly, burying his face in it “I need a cat to protect me, where’s pie?”

The video cut to the game’s title screen, big, blocky letters spelling out OUTLAST. On the bottom right hand corner were Kuroo and Kenma, the former letting out a deep sigh and putting Kenmas cat on his shoulder.

“Kuroo, you have the mouse, you need to press ‘New Game’” Kenma told Kuroo.

“I hate my life” He pressed the button anyway.

The main character was in a car, slowly making his way to a shady looking asylum. The character turned the keys and the car turned off. “Okay, now we need to get out of the car. There’s a folder on the right, we need take a look at that too” Kenma told him.

Kuroo turned the mouse to the right and Kenma picked up the folder. A paper appeared on the screen and Kenma read what was written in it while Kuroo mumbled “Why do we even bother”.

“You’re grabbing the camera then we get out of the car”

“Why? We don’t need to get out of the car” Kuroo exclaimed “We can turn back, go home, and quit our job. I say we move to Scotland and herd sheep, forget the creepy asylum. Sounds like a plan?”

“The game doesn’t have that option; we have to get out of the car”

“So, where’s our gun?”

“We don’t have a gun, just a camera”

“We’re gonna die”

_Objective: Investigate Mount Massive Asylum._

They took one step and the gate behind them closed. Kuroo didn’t look too pleased.

“The gate closed” Kenma said.

“I’m aware, thanks” Kuroo’s voice was filled with regret.

They navigated through the place trying to find a way into the building. After a lot of searching and climbing, they found an open window. As soon as the character went in, the lights turned off, making Kuroo mumble “Great”. They picked up the in-game camera and activated night vision, a huge puddle of blood appearing on the floor.

“There’s blood on the floor” Kenma said absent-mindly.

“Yeah, you know what, we’re following the Scotland plan. Good hustle out there everybody, we came, we saw, realised it was impossible – no shame in that – Kenma I can’t help but notice you’re still going towards the creepy room”

They moved to the next room and there was a loud screech.  Kuroo let out a high pitched scream and pulled his headphones off, throwing them over the keyboard. Kenma looked unimpressed.

It quickly became clear that Kuroo was legitimately terrified of horror games, and was probably rethinking all of his life choices while playing. He jumped at the slightest noise, looked away when they had to enter a corridor, and when they opened a door and a corpse was swinging from the ceiling, he screamed “FUCKING SHIT GODDAMMIT!” and got up, going out of frame.

“Kuroo stop, I’ll have to put a warning on the video for foul language” Kenma told him.

“MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH” His voice was getting more and more distant.

“Kuroo”

“WHO LEFT A CORPSE THERE?” A door was closed.

“We need to finish playing this”

“I HATE MY LIFE” Kuroo’s voice was muffled.

“I’m not editing this out”

Despite complaining, Kuroo soon returned and resumed playing. 29 minutes later and they had died a few times, Kuroo jumped because of creepy writing on the walls, they met the (presumed) leader of a cult, and were subjected to, as Kuroo put it, “fucking psychological trauma for two minutes seeing a creepy guy walk by the locker we’re hiding in, I’m scarred for _life_ , Kenma”. As soon as Kuroo stopped talking, the assailant opened the locker and brutally murdered them.

A string of curse came out of Kuroo’s mouth and he got up to leave the room.

“Stop leaving the room all the time, where are you going?” Kenma asked him.

“Scotland”

 

 **frankj    **                                 _20 minutes ago_

my life is complete

_4 likes_

 

 **Alphonse Elric**                                   _1 hour ago_

I’D LIKE TO THANK NOT ONLY GOD BUT ALSO JESUS FOR MAKING THIS POSSIBLE HOLY SHIT I’M DEAD

_102 likes_

**lavenderld**                                           _48 minutes ago_

Kenma is just fucking with Kuroo and I love it

_85 likes_

 

* * *

 

“Hey Kenma” Lev shouted.

Kenma left his office, where he was setting up the game he and Kuroo were going to play. “What is it?” He said, walking towards the living room, where Lev’s voice came from.

“Why is there an attractive man in our front door while I’m only in my boxers?”

Kenma stopped walking for a moment “God damn it, Lev” Kenma said under his breath and bolted towards the front door.

Lev was, as Kenma dreaded, just standing awkwardly by the open door, wearing absolutely _horrible_ boxers that had burgers drawn all over them. Kuroo had averted his gaze (hopefully) a long time ago, and was now trying really hard not to laugh. And, Jesus Christ, Lev was still just standing there.

“Lev” Kenma said, calmly. “I told you Kuroo was coming today to record some videos.”

“Yes, well, but, you see… I was shitfaced and, therefore, I forgot”

“Why are you still here, can you please go put your trousers on?”

Lev had a look on his face like he hadn’t even thought of the amazing solution to the problem at hand, which was “just go put your trousers on”. He immediately went to his bedroom and closed the door, leaving Kuroo and Kenma alone in the living room.

“You know” Kuroo said “He reminds me a lot of Bokuto. Only taller and with less stupid hair”

“I don’t think you are in a position to judge people’s hair” Kenma said, his lips quirking up a bit in an almost-but-not-really smile.

“I didn’t choose this hair, but Bokuto chose how to style his. So I’m good” Kuroo entered the apartment taking it all in- the game posters, the couch pillows with movie one-liners onthem, the giant bookshelf filled with all kinds of games. When Kenma passed him to close the front door, Kuroo realised that they had never properly met, so he extended his hand towards Kenma and smiled. “It’s nice to meet you, by the way”

Kenma shook his hand. His grip wasn’t firm and he didn’t look in Kuroo’s eyes, but his hand was warm and soft, so it was nice. “Yeah, it’s nice to meet you too. Do you uh—want something to drink? Water? Coffee?”

“Just water is fine, thanks”

They made their way to the kitchen where Kenma poured both of them a glass of water. Halfway through his, Kuroo felt something rub against his leg, and looked down to see a Himalayan cat staring back at him. “Hey there kitten” He said, rubbing behind her ear. “What’s her name?”

“Pie” Kenma said.

“You named your cat pie?”

“I like pie”

“Where’s her sister Cake?”

“She doesn’t have a sister named Cake, that’d be dumb”

“My next cat will be called Cake, you’ll see”

 Kenma looked down at his empty glass, not sure of what to say, so he just settled it on the sink and started walking towards the corridor “My office is this way, you can take pie if you want”

 

* * *

 

“I can’t believe we just played that” Kuroo said while holding Pie maybe with a little more force than he should be.

“It wasn’t that bad, honestly.”

“I fell off the chair twice, Kenma”

Oh, Kenma remembered that. He found it rather amusing if he was being honest. He had never in his life seen someone as scared of horror games and the dark as Kuroo was. It wasn’t something bad, just a little funny.

“It’s not my fault”

“I have a few ‘hey we should play outlast’ texts that beg to differ, you sadist”

“C’mon, Kuroo, stop complaining, we need to record your video before Shouyou gets here”

Kuroo set the cat on the floor and stretched before getting up. Kenma bit the inside of his cheeks to keep himself from chuckling. Honestly, Kuroo stretched just like a cat. He reached up until it looked like he would snap in half, then laid his upper body down in front of him and reached forward. So, yeah, Kuroo may or may not be a werecat of some sort, Kenma thought.

“Yeah, we’re gonna do it in your bedroom, right?” Kuroo asked

“It’s where I shoot all of my vlogs, so yes”

“Okay let me ask Bokuto to send the questions he came up with then we go” Kuroo said while typing something on his phone. His expression was unsettling. “Oh, man, this is gonna be good!”

Kenma made a weird face at that “I’m scared of what you two planned”

“You made me play a horror game in the dark, you can’t complain”

Kuroo smirked at him and walked out of the room. Kenma followed, feeling a weird warmth starting to creep up his chest.

 

* * *

 

Lev was sitting on the couch (no longer clad only in burger boxers) texting Yaku. They were planning on doing something on that Friday, they just weren’t sure what. Knowing his boyfriend, Lev guessed they’d just watch some random trash movie while drinking cheap booze. He didn’t mind—actually, he really liked it when they did that, because Yaku would get a lot cuddlier than normally.

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by the door to Kenma’s bedroom bursting open.

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this” Kuroo told Kenma with a huge disbelieving grin on his face.

“You can’t just say stuff like that and expect me to believe it”

“You wound me”

“It’s just because you” Kenma paused, searching for the right words “You don’t look the part”

“Why? Because I tried to make sculptures out of peanut butter? You know, my dumbness has nothing to do with my intelligence”

“What you just said only adds to me not believing you” Kenma took his keys and opened the front door. Both men started to exit the apartment whe Lev called after them.

“Hey, wait, weren’t you recording a video? Where are you going?” He asked.

“Wal-Mart. Need some stuff to prove to Kenma that I’m not lying” Kuroo said.

“Wait, no but—What are you gonna buy?”

Lev was not sure what Kuroo was trying to prove, but it seemed important. He also had no idea what they were talking about, but both men looked serious. Whatever Kuroo had to prove, it was huge and needed to be done. Kuroo looked like Zuko, trying to get back his lost honour or something. Which is why it came as a surprise to Lev when he just screamed “Red cabagges!”

 Kuroo and Kenma left the apartment, closing the door behind them. Kuroo’s voice could still be heard until when, Lev assumed, they got in the lift.

A few minutes had passed already when Lev, lost in his confusion of _what the fuck just happened here_ , said softly to the now empty apartment: “What?”

 

* * *

 

 **Kozume Kenma**   @kenmak                         10 min

Who would’ve known  **@theoriginallolcat**  is so scared the dark

 

 **v** **(*** **ﾟ** **▽** **ﾟ** ***)** **v**   @thegreatoikawa                                 8 min

 **@kenmak @theoriginallolcat** when your video comes out it’ll give me so much bribing material, thank you

 

 **Bokuto Koutarou** @HOOTHOOT                                8 min

 **@kenmak @theoriginallolcat @thegreatoikawa** i can’t wait for the “kuroo screaming in pure horror” compilations

 

 **Kuroo <3**  @theoriginallolcat                       5 min

 **@kenmak @thegreatoikawa @bokutokoutarou**  you can all fuck off

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What the hell is Outlast?  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNBMEgreue0
> 
> The Poll (now it lasts two days!):  
> https://twitter.com/abarcelos_/status/750108173483335681
> 
> Follow me on tumblr:  
> royal-society-of-pandas.tumblr.com


	5. Never Doubt Science

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When people talked about something they are passionate about, the look on their face is, in Kenma's humble opinion, the most beautiful a person can ever look. He loved it when he could see the gleam in their eyes and the faint red on their cheeks as they could not keep themselves from smiling. It was the best part of being hyperaware of the people around you.
> 
> But, right now, Kenma was not sure if he loved it or hated it, because Kuroo Tetsurou became the most beautiful man in the world as soon as he said "anthocyanin".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically just a clusterfuck. But i like how it turned out. Also, holy shit, the captains absolutely destroyed the first years in that poll. You guys are passionate about the dads (TM)
> 
> A heads up: I suck at chemistry and hate it more than anything. The experiment here is all I remember from high school.

**theoriginallolcat**   _uploaded a new video titled:_

** Newlyfriend Game (+ IMPROMPTU SCIENCE!) With KenmaKGames **

_1 day ago                                        1,300,047 views_

“Hey there my kitty cats!”Kuroo said his usual greeting and gestured to the boy next to him. “I’m here today with Kenma” Kenma gave a small wave “And, look, we only met the other day and, thing is: I wanna know more about you. I wanna know the real Kozume Kenma. So we’re gonna play a little game today”

“Coming from you, I’m scared of what that means” Kenma said apprehensively.

“Calm down, it’s nothing illegal.” Kuroo waved a hand dismissively and Kenma relaxed a little. “Those are the ones I do with Bokuto!”

Kenma tensed up again.

“Well, _this_ game” Kuroo continued “Is called the Newlyfriend Game. What we’re gonna do is: Bokuto came up with a bunch of questions for us to answer. We’ll see how much we can figure out about each other with what little interaction we’ve had”

“Alright, seems okay”

“I’ll let you know beforehand that I’m actually really good at this game. Anyway, let’s begin!” Kuroo exclaimed and the usual opening animation, with the cat that resembled Kuroo and his name in big letters appearing on the screen.

“First question is-“ Kuroo looked at the question on his phone and immediately frowned. “I should have asked Akaashi for questions. We’re skipping the first one. So the second question is—”

“Wait” Kenma interrupted. “What was the first one?”

“It was ‘What are the effects that Peach Pie Moonshine causes on the other person’ but we don’t need to talk about that” There was a quick cut to Kenma’s extremely zoomed in face, and then the same happened to Kuroo. “The _second_ question is ‘Other person’s favourite food’. Easy peasy”

“I’m guessing you’d like something boring, like fish” Kenma said “Mackerel?”

“I really do like mackerel. Guess I gotta give you that one” A white ‘1’ appeared on kenma’s side of the screen. “As for you, I know you like pie and I saw your gamertag was ‘Applepi’ so that’s my guess. Apple pie. Not that hard”

“It’s not just a _favourite food_ , it’s a way of living”

“Dude, you’re weird.” A white ‘1’ appeared on Kuroo’s side. There was a hard cut and Kuroo was now looking at his phone again. “Next is: ‘Youtube guilty pleasure’. I’m gonna say yours is… fuck. I think—I think you like watching those videos of people popping pimples”

“Ew, Kuroo that’s disgusting”

“It’s therapeutic, okay? Give it a try sometime!”

“I’m guessing that’s yours then?”

“Nope. Tell me yours and then I tell you mine”

“I… actually really like ASMR videos” Kenma said blushing and averted his gaze “They help me sleep, I guess”

“Yours is okay. Mine is kinda mean.”

“What is it?”

“I love watching videos of stupid people getting hurt or just generally fucking up.” Kuroo said. “Like, there’s this old video of a guy who was gonna dive bomb into a frozen pool thinking he could break through the ice. Spoiler alert: he couldn’t and it was hilarious”

“You are a psychopath”

“I’m not! It just really is funny”

They went through a couple more questions, Kuroo getting all of them right and Kenma getting most of them wrong. Kenma was actually really good at reading people, but Kuroo was just unpredictable. The current score was 5-2, Kuroo in the lead.

“Alright, the next question is ‘What did the other major in?’” Kuroo read. “Uhh… that’s a difficult one, I’m gonna say Graphic Design and-slash-or Animation?Sounds like something you’d do.”

Kenma let out a sigh. Without looking at Kuroo, he said: “You have got to be cheating”

“What? Did I get it right?” Kuroo pumped his fist up and started making an incredibly stupid dance. “Told you I was good at this game!”

“I have a degree in Graphic Design and a minor in Character animation” Kenma said, and then looked at Kuroo to try and analyse him, looking for hints of what he might have majored in. “I’m gonna say you got a degree in… Law.”

Kuroo snorted. “Nope” He said.

“Then I think you’re one of those people who didn’t know what to major in so they let their family convince them to go to Business school”

“Okay, not even close” Kuroo started bouncing on the bed, a huge smirk on his face. He was going to _win_ this.

“Sociology?” Kenma asked hesitantly.

Kuroo simply shook his head.

“I give up, what did you do?” Kenma said looking mildly defeated.

“Chemical Engineering” Kuroo said “Minor in Astromy and Astrophysics”

Kenma stared at Kuroo for a moment, a neutral expression on his face, all while Kuroo continued to grin at him. “Bullshit” He said finally. Kuroo’s mouth dropped open, seemingly offended by Kenma’s statement.

“Excuse me?” He asked.

“I’m calling bullshit, there’s no way you have a degree in chemical engineering”

“Why not?” Kuroo put his right hand over his heart in fake indignation.

“Kuroo, I saw a video you did with Bokuto where you guys were trying to make sculptures using peanut butter”

“Yeah, I do not see how that invalidates my degree. What do you want me to do? Prove it?”

“Yes” Kenma said immediately.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes”

“I don’t have anything with me right now, dude”

“That’s too bad”

Kuroo looked away for a while, thinking.

“Do you have red cabbages?” He asked.

The screen went black for a moment. When the video came back, Kuroo and Kenma were both standing in a kitchen. There were a lot of ingredients in the table in front of them, along with a blender, some glasses and a coffee filter.

“Hello, kids” Kuroo greeted “Since Kenma here is being an asshole and not believing me, even though I’m a kind human being who has never wronged anyone ever, I’m gonna make a simple red cabbage pH indicator experiment and use a lot more technical terms than I need to, because I gotta sound smart.

“So, red cabbage contains a pigment molecule called flavin, which is an anthocyanin and will act kind of like phenolphthalein here. Very acidic solutions will turn anthocyanin a red colour. Neutral solutions result in a purplish colour. Basic solutions appear in greenish-yellow. So, it is possible to determine the pH of a solution based on the colour it turns the anthocyanin pigments in red cabbage juice.

“The colour of the juice changes in response to changes in its hydrogen ion concentration. pH is the –log H+. Acids will donate hydrogen ions in an aqueous solution and have a low pH.”

“Kuroo, I didn’t understand half of what you said” Kenma told him.

“That’s how you know it’s smart!” He said “Also, heads up, this is going to smell really bad”

The experiment ended up being just Kuroo throwing a bunch of stuff together to make the water-like substances to make them change colour. In the end, Kuroo gestured to all the containers and yelled, “SCIENCE!”

Kenma smiled.

 

 **James Anderson**                               _13 hours ago_

okay but kuroo is really fucking smart and no one knew about it?

_187 likes_

 

 **Cheshire Cat       **                                _50 minutes ago_

I can just feel the adorable radiating off this video through my screen.

_22 likes_

 

 **Anna :3c**                                                _5 hours ago_

I guess you could say they have a lot of… chemistry

_75 likes_

Hide replies  ^

                **Anna :3c**                                                _5 hours ago_

                In all seriousness tho, they’re adorable

                _30 likes_

* * *

 

 

The thing about social anxiety is that you are always hyperaware of everyone around you. Kenma always thought that came with bad things and good things too. On one hand, you're always shying away from people, because if they laugh or if they make a weird face, any little gesture, you would notice and think it was because of you, and that _sucked_. But, on the other, there were times when you would notice the happiness in people's eyes when something good happened, and it was really nice.  
  
When people talked about something they are passionate about, the look on their face is, in Kenma's humble opinion, the most beautiful a person can ever look. He loved it when he could see the gleam in their eyes and the faint red on their cheeks as they could not keep themselves from smiling. It was the best part of being hyperaware of the people around you.  
  
But, right now, Kenma was not sure if he loved it or hated it, because Kuroo Tetsurou became the most beautiful man in the world as soon as he said "anthocyanin".  
  
That could not have happened.  
  
Sure, Kuroo was a really nice guy, but he did not want to deal with this bullshit right now. Crushes were bad, as soon as you realised someone was good-looking it would just go downhill from there, soon enough you would start to stalk them on instagram and make ridiculous scenarios in your head that would never come true. Kenma did not need that in his life, thank you very much.  
  
Right now, the plan was never talk about chemistry with Kuroo ever again. Good plan. Solid plan. No one even talks that much about chemistry on a daily basis, so, yeah, he's good.

“C’mere Pie” Kuroo said, hoisting Kenma’s cat up into his arms.

“Why do you never leave the cat alone?" Kenma asked  
  
“It's more like the other way around, cats always gravitate towards me"  
  
“Maybe it's because you're basically a human furnace, I think. Seriously, how are you so warm?" Kenma said, lightly touching the bare skin on Kuroo's arm.  
  
“I don't know dude, just go with it" Kuroo shrugged. "I'd say it's because I'm hot but you'd probably hit me, so I decided not to"  
  
Kenma bit the inside of his cheeks trying to not smile. He could not give Kuroo the _fucking satisfaction “_ Good decision, I really would have thrown a pillow in your face"  
  
“Oh my, how would I survive getting hit by a mighty pillow in the face?"  
  
“You wouldn't, you'd be dead as soon as it touched your skin”  
  
“Thank you for your mercifulness”  
  
“It's only because the cat likes you”  
  
Kuroo seemed to be thinking about something. “Maybe she'd like to play with Batnyan for a while. What do you say we have a kitty playdate?” He asked while moving his hand out of Pie’s reach so she couldn’t catch it. He then lowered his hand again, and when pie went to touch it, he pulled it back once more.  
  
“Um. Sure, she doesn't really know many cats. Any cats.”

“Great! My place or yours?”

“Do it here!" Lev shouted suddenly. He was leaning against the kitchen’s doorframe, phone in hands, typing something.  
  
“How long have you been there?” Kenma asked  
  
“About five minutes. You two bicker like a married couple in the brink of divorce, it's fun to watch” Lev put his phone back in his pocket. “So, kitty playdate here? Please? I like kittens!”

“Fine by me” Kuroo said “How about you, Kenma?”

Kuroo looked at him and Kenma felt his face heat up. He quickly looked the other way. “Fine… I guess”

Kuroo smiled.

Oh, man. Kenma was so fucked.

 

* * *

 

 

“Why the hell do we always invite him?”

“Oikawa, this is not—“ Daichi started to say, but was quickly interrupted.

“Look at him, he’s just sitting there, drinking orange juice – with no alcohol in it— at a fucking bar, that asshole”

“Oikawa, I’m sitting right next to you, so this strikes me as rather rude” Ushijima said.

“I’m not talking to you” Oikawa snapped.

“Can’t we just go out _one_ night without having hell break loose?” Daichi sighed and rested his head on his hands.

“Tooru-kun needs to lay off the tequila.” Kuroo teased. “It makes you more annoying than usual”

“Ushiwaka’s annoying” Oikawa pouted.

“I’m sorry, I am not sure what I’ve done but I’ll try to not be a bother to you in the future”

“Fuck off!”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No, I want you to fuck off. Fuck off. Off you will fuck”

“Oikawa that makes no sense” Daichi said.

“Of course it doesn’t, Dadchi” Bokuto said, throwing an arm around Daichi’s shoulder and bringing him closer. “You don’t have enough alcohol in your bloodstream yet! Hey, lady! Bring my frowning friend here something that has a lot of alcohol and a lot of sugar in it!”

“Jesus Christ why am I still friends with you guys?”

Kuroo downed the rest of his beer and asked for another.  To outsiders, the five people at their table might have looked either: a) about to punch each other; b) fucking insane; c) absolutely shitfaced or; d) all of the above. But they were actually (mostly) sane and sober, and actually cared deeply about each other. They were friends. Even Oikawa, deep, _deep, very deep down_ actually didn’t mind Ushijima. This was just how all of their conversations went—they teased and joked and bickered.

It was tradition—Friday nights were reserved for the five of them to go out and do _something_. Mario kart, bar hopping, karaoke, bowling, maybe just a volleyball match for old times’ sake. It’s what they would do almost every week ever since they all started living in Tokyo.

His beer arrived. Oikawa had changed seats at some point and was now sitting across from Ushijima. Daichi still looked like a stressed dad who just got his 30 day chip from anger management and was trying really hard to not kill all of his children.

“Hey, Kuroo” Bokuto called. “How did it go on Monday? I never really asked”

“Ooh, what did you do Monday, Tetsu-chan? Did you finally manage to get a date?” Oikawa said.

“Nah, it was just that collab I did with Kenma” Kuroo replied, looking down at his beer bottle. “It went well, I think”

“Oh, I remember!” Oikawa said. “Say, when does the video come out? I wanna expand my ‘Kuroo Tetsurou Blackmail Folder’”

“Shut up, asshole! I’ll have you know I didn’t even flinch” That was not a lie. Kuroo didn’t _flinch._ He cried, screamed, fell of his chair and almost destroyed his headphones and Kenma’s mouse, but he did not flinch.

“What did you guys play?” Daichi asked.

“Outlast for his video” Everyone made a face that screamed ‘ _oh shit, dude’_ “Okay, was I the only one who didn’t know that this game is the actual devil? Et tu, Ushiwaka?!”

“It is a popular videogame. Tendou made me play it once” Ushijima said. “I did not enjoy it”

“Tetsu-chan, you’re just really bad at games” Oikawa sighed.

“You guys are so mean to me, I’m gonna go hang out with Kenma”

“How can you do this to me, bro?” Bokuto said, putting his hand over his heart.

“I’m calling him right now” Kuroo took out his phone and pressed Kenma’s contact. He put it on speaker and waited for Kenma to pick up.

 _“Hello?”_ Kenma said on the other end.

“Kenma, my traitor friends are being assholes to me, can I come over to your house?”

_“No”_

Oikawa and Bokuto burst out laughing. Daichi snickerd. Ushijima ignored it. Kuroo just stared at his phone in disbelief.

“Kenmaaa, you were supposed to help me!”

_“Deal with your drunk problems yourself, don’t drag me into them. Was that all?”_

“No one loves me. I’ll abandon everything and go live in the mountains as a hermit”

 _“Good luck. Go to Scotland.”_ Kenma said and hung up.

“Kuroo, bro, I think you just got rejected” Bokuto said in between chuckles.

“I believe he was just teasing you, don’t take it personally” Ushijima said.

“You know what, I agree with Oikawa. Fuck off Ushiwaka”

 

* * *

 

 **Kuroo <3**     @theoriginallolcat                    9min

No one loves me </3

 

Kozume Kenma retweeted:

 **Bokuto Koutarou**    @ HOOTHOOT             7min

 **@theoriginallolcat** teasing you is way more fun  <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A video about Kuroo's experiment:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oG-pNRVHsc4
> 
> Next chapter's poll (lasts 48 hours):  
> https://twitter.com/abarcelos_/status/752508050645389312
> 
> Follow me on tumblr:  
> http://royal-society-of-pandas.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thank you for reading <3 Please leave a comment and kudos if you liked it, it makes my day!


	6. Literally and Metaphorically Fucked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo arrived at Kenma and Lev’s apartment just past five in the afternoon, Batnyan under one arm and some bags of groceries on the other. This time it wasn’t a semi-nude Lev who opened the door, thankfully, but a fully clothed Kenma who didn’t even bother saying hi before asking, “What’s all that food for?”
> 
> “Well, hello to you too” Kuroo said “How are you, Kenma dear, I’m great, thanks for asking you’re so kind”
> 
> “What’s all that food for?”
> 
> “Wow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If last chapter the captains obliterated the first years on the poll, this one was almost a tie! Wish I could say that that's why it took me so long to update, since i had to wait till the poll was actually done for me to start the chapter, but um... I was just lazy. Sorry.
> 
> Also my laptop almost died just now and I freaked out.

**Akaashi Keiji** _uploaded a new video titled:_

** Flaws – Bastille cover | ft. Bokuto Koutarou **

_6 hours ago                         33,508 views_

 

Like most of Akaashi’s videos, it was black and white. The opening shot was a close up of someone’s hands as they tuned a ukulele, fingers sliding easily through the strings. Keiji sat at the piano in a wide shot of the room, just as Bokuto looked up from his ukulele, the only sound now being the faint noise of Akaashi’s jeans against the leather piano stool and his slow breathing caught by the microphone in front of him.

The first piano notes began, soon followed by the guitar. They were playing a slightly slower version of the original song and it took a while longer for Akaashi to start singing. His voice was sweet and angelic, not once going coarse or faltering. He sang with his eyes closed, fingers gently pressing piano keys in short elegant moves.

Bokuto, on the other hand, played the ukulele like his life depended on it. He shook his head to the rhythm and violently played the chords as though he wanted to break the strings.

Akaashi Keiji and Bokuto Koutarou looked like complete opposites, but it _worked._ Their music was beautiful, both halves counterweighing the other to make something amazing. The video might have been black and white, but the sounds provided an explosion of colour that could leave any renowned music critic absolutely mesmerised.

As the music came to an end and Akaashi sang the last chorus, Bokuto stopped playing, so that it was only Akaashi and his piano. 

 

 _You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve_ __  
And I have always buried them deep beneath the ground __  
Dig them up __  
Let's finish what we've started __  
Dig them up __  
So nothing's left unturned __  
  
All of your flaws and all of my flaws __  
Are laid out one by one __  
Look at the wonderful mess that we made  
We pick ourselves undone

As the sound of the last note died down Akaashi looked at his Bokuto, who was already smiling widely at him, and allowed himself a tiny smile as well.

 **IrishRose.**                            _2 hours ago_

His voice is fucking amazing!

88 likes

 

 **tøp trash**                               _6 hours ago_

anyone else drowning in tears because otp

_100 likes_

 

 **jeremy ray          **                _19 minutes ago_

AKAASHI’S SMILE IN THE END THO

_18 likes_

 

* * *

 

 

“It turned out pretty great, huh?” Bokuto said while looking at his ukulele. He was picking at the smiley face sticker that he had put on it last year, next to the owl one that was on the ukulele ever since he bought it.  He looked incredibly cute.

“Yes” Akaashi said, turning around on the piano stool. “Thank you for playing the ukulele, Bokuto-san. You are a lot better than I am at it”

Bokuto blushed bright red and ran a hand through his hair, still looking down at the instrument. “It was nothing… And don’t say that, you play so many instruments and you sing so well and… well, you’re a lot better at a lot of things, Akaashi”

“I’m also a lot worse at a lot of things, ukulele is one of them. Human interaction is another. Don’t sell yourself so short, Bokuto-san”

Akaashi thought Bokuto couldn’t get any redder, but he was proven wrong. So Akaashi did the only thing he knew how to do. “Do you want to learn piano?” He asked. “I can teach you, come here”

Bokuto got up from his stool and sat next to Akaashi, avoiding eye contact. “Alrigh, okay, good, yeah” Bokuto muttered.

“My piano, like most pianos, has seven octaves, 88 keys. It starts with an A” He pressed the first key “And ends with a C” He pressed the last key.

“Okay, let’s play some chords!” Bokuto exclaimed.

“Not yet… first you need to learn how to position your hands. Here” Akaashi took Bokuto’s hand and _yeah this was working better than expected._ “Pretend you’re holding an orange, now put your thumb on this C, so you play the c with your thumb, the D with your index and so forth”

Bokuto pressed each key with the finger that rested above it. As soon as he pressed the G key, he said, “Akaashi, I’ve run out of fingers”

“Pass your thumb under your pinkie then do the same thing you were doing before”

“I don’t think my hand contorts itself like that”

“No, no, like this” Akaashi held Bokuto’s thumb and, slightly turning his arm, put it over the A key, pinkie never leaving the G. He then gently moved Bokuto’s hand so that every finger was touching a different key one more time. “See? And if you need to go back, you pass your pinkie over your thumb”

Akaashi raised his head and looked back at Bokuto. They were really close. Their thighs were touching. Also, their hands, they were touching too. Maybe Bokuto would finally do something about it – they had been flirting for the past two years, for God’s sake!

“I, uh, I remembered that need to call Kuroo real quick, can we continue this afterwards? I- I’ll be right back” Bokuto said and stood up, going to the door.

Letting out a deep sigh, Akaashi stood up and grabbed Bokuto’s wrist. He really wasn’t great with… interacting with other humans, but Bokuto wasn’t being much better. He had to do it.

“Or you could… stay. I’m sure Kuroo could survive a few minutes” He took a few steps. They were really close now.

“Uh… I don’t—I don’t think I can, look it’s just, I don’t know—Kuro really should—“

Using every bit of courage he had been collecting for two years, Akaashi did the craziest thing he could think of, and leaned in, pressing his lips to Bokuto’s.

 

* * *

 

 

Kuroo arrived at Kenma and Lev’s apartment just past five in the afternoon, Batnyan under one arm and some bags of groceries on the other. This time it wasn’t a semi-nude Lev who opened the door, thankfully, but a fully clothed Kenma who didn’t even bother saying hi before asking, “What’s all that food for?”

“Well, hello to you too” Kuroo said “How are you, Kenma dear, I’m great, thanks for asking you’re so kind”

“What’s all that food for?”

“Wow.” Kuroo stepped into the apartment and made his way to the kitchen, where he put down all the groceries. “All this food is because you can’t survive on pizza and takeout, so I’m cooking you a real dinner today”

“I’ve survived on pizza and takeout for years now”

“And you can’t climb a flight of stairs without having a minor heart attack”

Before Kenma could have the chance to respond, Lev was already running towards them screaming “KITTEN!”

“JESUS FUCKING LORD” Kuroo yelled, almost dropping Batnyan on the floor.

“Lev, please behave like a normal human being” Kenma said and took Kuroo’s cat in his arms. “Look who’s having a minor heart attack now”

“Fuck you” Kuroo clutched his chest, it really looked like he was having a minor heart attack. “Where’s Pie?”

“My bedroom, I’m gonna go get her. Hold your cat” Kenma handed Batnyan to Kuroo and walked towards the corridor.

“What’s his name?” Lev asked, petting the black cat.

“Batnyan”

“That’s the coolest name I’ve ever heard ever”

Kenma soon came back with Pie who looked incredibly excited at the sight of another cat. Batnyan jumped off Kuroo’s arms to meet Pie. After circling each other a few times, they began playing with one another by hitting a paw on the other’s face. Seemed fun.

“I guess they’re best friends” Kuroo said.

“They met 2 minutes ago” Kenma deadpanned.

“Besties!”

“This is the most precious thing I’ve seen in years. I could watch them for hours” Lev said.

“Great, cause I gotta make us dinner and Kenma is gonna help, so just babysit them for a bit”

“I’m gonna what?” Kenma asked.

“Don’t worry, I’m not capable of taking my eyes off them” Lev said.

  

* * *

 

 

“Can you get me those spring onions?” Kuroo asked.

He and Kenma had been cooking for a while now, and when he said ‘he and kenma’, he meant that he was cooking and Kenma was begrudgingly handing him ingredients and utensils. Kenma was also looking at the vegetables like they had killed his family and dishonoured him.

“What the hell are spring onions” Kenma asked.

“They’re next to the cilantro”

“The what?”

“Dear Christ in heaven, Kenma”

Before Kenma had a chance to respond, Kuroo’s phone started ringing. He checked the caller ID and, after seeing it was Bokuto, answered with their usual “Ohoho” putting the phone on speaker so he could keep cooking.

Usually the two of them would just go back and forth saying ohoho to each other for minutes before even starting the conversation—It worked for them. But nothing in the world could have prepared Kuroo for what Bokuto said instead.

_“I fucked Akaashi”_

Kenma and Kuroo stared at each other for a while, not sure of what to say. Bokuto also remained quiet.

“Metaphorically or literally?” Kuroo asked.

“I’m leaving” Kenma said, but did not make any actual attempts on leaving.        

 _“You put me on speaker?!”_ Bokuto asked.

“Listen I need my hands for cooking, okay, just answer the damn question Koutarou!”

_“My dick was in his arse”_

“Great, you’ve had a crush on him since forever, bro, what’s the problem here?”

 _“I’m freaking out!”_ Bokuto exclaimed. “ _Help me out, bro! I don’t know what to do”_

“Just… tell him that you like him and maybe want to be more than friends? See where it goes? Look, I don’t know, usually I’d just tell you to fuck him but obviously that didn’t work”

“Was he the one who initiated it?” Kenma spoke up suddenly. Kuroo had forgotten that he wasn’t alone in the room, so it took him by surprise. “The sex, did the other guy initiate it? Because from what you sound like doesn’t seem to me that you’d be the one to offer it”

“ _I- yeah, Akaashi started it”_

“So he obviously likes you. Stop being a baby and ask him out”

“ _But what if—“_

“Just ask him already, worst case scenario he’ll just want you guys to be fuck buddies, which still sounds like a pretty good option to me”

“Kenma” Kuroo said. “You’re the boldest person I’ve ever met”

“It’s true, though. Just go, this is a colossal waste of time”

 _“Right, I’ll- I’ll go talk to him”_ Bokuto stuttered

“Don’t forget to use protection and try not to get him pregnant, ‘kay, bye!” Kuroo said before hanging up. “That was… something”

“I bet the other guy will still confess to him first” Kenma said.

“Probably, yes” Kuroo grabbed the spring onions and started chopping them, while Kenma just watched him “What do you think Lev is doing with our cats”

“I bet he has a livestream set up just so people can watch him play with them”

Kuroo laughed and, from the corner of his eyes, he could see Kenma trying his best not to chuckle. “Do you think my laugh is weird?”

“Yes “ Kenma said.

“Kenmaaa, you’re so mean to me” Kuroo said pouting. “Hey, are you going to Hinata’s birthday party on Saturday? I’ve never gone to his parties before”

“Yeah, he’s making me go”

“Isn’t he your best friend? Why does he have to _make you_ go to his birthday party?”

“His friends are weird and loud and I don’t like it”

“You can stay with me the whole party, you know I’m quiet and normal”

“You’re as quiet and normal as a constipated elephant piggyback riding a pink rhino”

“Oddly specific and incredibly insulting, so I’m just going to ignore that and ask you to get me the kale, you angry kitten”

“What does kale look like”

“Are you fucking serious?”

 

* * *

 

 

From: Brokuto  (*◎ｖ◎*)

19:15 ive got a boyfriend

 

* * *

 

 

 **_ Haiba Lev _ ** _is LiveStreaming right now!_

** “Taking Questions and Playing With Cats | Haiba Lev” **

_1090 watching_                                    _LIVE NOW_

 

**Raza Hassan:** this is so precious!

 **Jay:** Batnyan?

 **Hipster Twinkie:** omg did he just call the black cat batnyan?

 **Sammy:** IT’S BATNYAN!!!!!!!

 **Phan Trash:** WTF IS KUROO’S CAT DOING AT KENMA’S HOUSE PLAYING WITH KENMA’S CAT??

 **Sammy:** KUROKEN #CONFIRMED

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bokuaka wasn't supposed to happen on this chapter but it did ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> The song:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SLWJUm7goo
> 
> Also here's a kitten live feed cause why the fuck not:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_o74BnFSr8g
> 
> Poll on a conversation between Kuroo and Bokuto (48 hours) (I feel like I know what will win):  
> https://twitter.com/abarcelos_/status/756919265219993601


	7. You've Aged Like a Meth Addict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many things in Kenma’s life came as a surprise. Never did he think he would be YouTube Japan’s top gaming channel, or that he would end up living with Haiba Lev of all people, or that he would live to see his friends confess the most fucked up shit in a game of Never Have I Ever. The universe loved proving Kenma wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally only added a character here so I could name the chapter that. also, 4k fucking words even though this was the hardest chapter to write holy shit.
> 
> Winter break is over, so weekly updates may not be a thing anymore, we'll see...
> 
> If you can catch all the references I made you get my eternal love and respect.

** Theoriginallolcat  ** _uploaded a new video titled:_

** Don’t Eat a Spoonful of Wasabi, Kids (Q&A) **

_2 days ago                                          1,534,063 views_

 

Kuroo sat in his bed, adjusting the camera focus while singing the chorus to Aladdin’s “A Whole New World”. His voice was okay at best, and it was made worse by the fact that he was trying to sing both parts of the duet and mimic Jasmine’s voice. Suddenly there was a loud banging noise coming from the street, and a man yelled “Eat my ass, Yuriko!”

Kuroo stopped singing abruptly and, after a few moments of silence he said a quiet “What the fuck?”, followed by his intro playing.

“Hey there, my kitty cats!” Kuroo greeted. “So I have jack and shit to do so I asked you guys on twitter to send in some questions and you did so here are some answers!”

After a hard cut, Kuroo read a question from his phone. “@jayjsphinx asked ‘KUROO DUDE WHY DID YOU STOP WEARING EARINGS THOSE WERE THE BEST PLEASE RECONSIDER!’ and I like your excitement but I just don’t feel like wearing them anymore. I’m not 17 anymore, my guy.

“This one comes from @_mmyuriko and I wonder if it’s the same Yuriko who was gonna eat that guy’s ass, please say yes” Kuroo looked at the camera for a moment, then back at the window. “Anyway, Yuriko wants to know ‘Can you do a handstand? If yes, do it. If no, do it anyway.’”

The video cut to a wide shot of Kuroo’s living room, where he had some free space. He stood in the middle of the shot, shaking his arms and doing small jumps. “Welp, I haven’t done this since uni, let’s see how it goes”

Kuroo bent down and put his hands on the floor. He managed to do a handstand for impressive 2.5 seconds before collapsing on the floor yelling “SHIT”. He just laid there for a second, groaning.

“Oh, I broke my ass” Kuroo sat up and put a hand on his butt “I broke my ass, it shattered”

There was another hard cut and Kuroo was now sitting on his bed once again, looking down at his phone. “@sleah02 asked ‘do you think dogs experience ASMR?’ What the hell even is this question? I don’t even have dogs? I have never in my life watched an ASMR video, seriously, where did this come from?”

After a quick montage of dogs wearing headphones while an ASMR audio played in the background, the video resumed.

“@hugoflores said: ‘Kuroo, I dare you to eat a spoonful of wasabi paste’ Well bring it on Hugo”

It turned out that eating a spoonful of wasabi paste was a terrible idea. Half a gallon of milk and several swears later, Kuroo had recomposed himself.

“@sarebiMM asked ‘How do I say no to my senpai at my part time job when he asks me out?’”

‘OPTION 1’ written in big, bold letters flashed over the screen.

Kuroo sat in front of the camera, with an improvised clerk costume and a nametag with “douchebag” written on it.

“Hey, wanna hang out with me after work?” he said.

With a horrible blond wig on, Kuroo answered himself in a high-pitched voice, “Sorry, I already have plans”

‘OPTION 2’

“I’m sorry, I already have a partner” ‘Girl’ Kuroo said.

‘OPTION 3 (RECOMMENDED)’

“I don’t have a partner, nor do I have plans, but I’d rather drink a gallon of bleach than hang out with you after work”

After that, Kuroo was back on the bed, reading another question. “@nok1287 said ‘Call the last person you texted and scream the lyrics of crawling in my skin to them’ Jesus fuck”

Kuroo looked through his contact list until he found the person he last texted. He pressed ‘call’ and put it on speaker.

_“Hello?”_ Kenma said after a few rings. Kuroo took a deep breath.

 “CRAWLING IN MY SKIN, THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL!”

_“What the hell is wrong with you?”_ Kenma did not sound phased at all

“I don’t know, please don’t stop being my friend”

The end screen came up, with a link to subscribe to theoriginallolcat, to all of his social media, and another to his previous video. Anyone who stayed to the very end would be rewarded with a clip of Kuroo calling someone on the phone, on speaker.

After it ringing a few times, they answered with and excited “Tesurou, hi darling!”

“Hey mum” He said “I kind of have a weird request”

“What is it?”

“Can you film the dogs with headphones in them and then—then send me the video?”

“You mean the dogs wearing earbuds?”

“Yeah, make sure to film it horizontally”

“I don’t think they’ll keep the earbuds in their ears but okay”

“Thanks mum, you’re the best”

 

 

**Giuli**                                                      _21 hours ago_

the senpai thing omg I’m dyingggg｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

_10 likes_

 

**mythical magic claws**                      _4 hours ago_

ok but is no one going to address the fact that the last person Kuroo texted was Kenma?

_198 likes_

View all 8 replies ▽

       **mythical magic claws      **_15 minutes ago_

       SOMEONE PLEEEASE LINK ME TO LEV’S LIVESTREAM I NEED TO SEEIT WIT H MY OWN TWO EYES

        _2 likes_

* * *

 

“So I was like, ‘I really need to call Kuroo, I’ll be right back’ and then he—“

“Why did you involve me? Don’t use me as an excuse bro!”

 Bokuto waved his hand dismissively. “It’s not that big of a deal. But anyway, I got up but he just grabbed  my hand and said something, I don’t remember cause I was just looking at his lips, Akaashi’s got really great lips, bro, it’s so—“

“Bokuto you’re the worst storyteller I’ve ever met” Kuroo said.

“You know what, I’m done telling you the story then. I don’t care, you’re an asshole. You’ll never know about the amazing sex we had afterwards” Bokuto crossed his arms and turned away from Kuroo, pouting.

“Thank Christ, that’s not an imagery I need right now”

“You know, the quiet ones are always wild in bed” Bokuto said, mostly out of spite.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake” Kuroo grabbed a pillow from the couch and buried his head in it, trying to block out that thought.

“I’m sure you’ve thought the same thing about Kenma, bro. I know you think he’s cute”

Damn Bokuto and his perception skills. Well, he didn’t have many perception skills unless it was directly related to Kuroo’s misery, but _still._ So, Kenma was cute. Big deal, Kuroo always liked small blondes, he kind of had a type. Kenma fitted that type, but that was not important to the matter because Kuroo Tetsurou did not have a crush.

“I’ve never thought about Kenma while jerking off, if that’s what you’re implying” Kuroo said.

“I’m not implying shit, I just know you have a huge raging—” _Please don’t say what I think you’re about to say. “_ —crush on him, bro” _Oh, thank Christ._

“I don’t think I do. Besides you’re the one who spent two year pining after their roommate and didn’t do a fucking thing about it. _Akaashi_ had to literally present you his ass for you to do something about it”

“You wound me bro” Bokuto clutched the left side of his shirt to show his suffering, but it was short lived as he soon remembered something very important. “Bro, oh my god, bro, Hinata’s party is tomorrow”

“Yes, I’m aware”

“What are we gonna get him? We can’t show up empty-handed, he gave me an owl kigurumi, I gotta give him something equally amazing”

“The way I see it, we can either give him a super sentimental gift or an embarrassing one. So, either a sentimental photo album with all of the memories we’ve made together or a neon green dildo”

Bokuto stared at Kuroo with a blank expression on his face, not saying a single word.

“Neon green—“ Kuroo started but was immediately interrupted by Bokuto.

“Obviously”

“Then we have a sex shop to go to”

 

* * *

 

 

By the time Kenma arrived at Shouyou’s apartment, the party was already going at full force. People were drinking like it would save their lives instead of kill them slowly, music was playing so loudly that he could barely hear his own thoughts, Shouyou’s big apartment was absolutely cramped, his friends were nowhere in sight and Kenma hated _everything._

He just needed to find Shouyou, wish him a happy birthday and then he could leave. His friend was probably already wasted at this point in time so Kenma didn’t really give a shit.

The door behind him opened as more people entered the party. Kenma was about to try and get away from them when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he could see that the hand belonged to Kuroo Tetsurou, praise be onto him for his timing.

“Hey” He said with a smile and Kenma felt a little funny. Kuroo had a nice smile, and a nice voice, and a nice face, okay Kenma was probably getting drunk by osmosis or something.

“Hi. Hello, Koutarou”

“Hey, hey, hey, Kenma!” Bokuto exclaimed “Oh, have you seen Hinata?” 

“We got him a little something” Kuroo said, showing the gift he had in hands, but—

“Um… Why does that look like a dildo wrapped in a flowery wrapping paper?” Kenma asked.

“Because that’s exactly what this is!” Kuroo draped an arm around Kenma’s shoulder, and he just wasn’t mentally prepared for that, what the hell.

“Kuroo-san!” Someone behind them screamed. Turning around, Kenma saw Shouyou running towards them, dragging Tobio along by the hand. “Bokuto-san! Oh, and Kenma! I didn’t think you would come!”

“Ah, hi Shouyou. Happy Birthday” Kenma said awkwardly.

“Happy birthday Shrimpy! Here, we got you something” It was as though the loud music just added to the volume of Bokuto’s voice, he was sure the whole party could hear him, even the people upstairs.

Kenma considered himself a reasonable man, and it wasn’t that he did not have a sense of humour, but he was extremely self-conscious about his laugh and his tendency to snort. Loudly. Besides, few things in the world made him actually feel like laughing. One of these things happened to be the exact moment a drunk Shouyou removed a neon green dildo from the wrap. More specifically, _Tobio’s_ face the exact moment his boyfriend removed a neon green dildo from the wrap. Never in his life had Kenma had so much trouble trying not to laugh.

Kuroo leaned towards Kenma’s ear and said,“I think if we stay here any longer, Kageyama is gonna head-butt us into a coma. I say we haul ass towards the kitchen and to relative safety. What do you think?”

Kenma blushed at the proximity and the hand that was secured around his forearm. “Yeah, let’s go” He said, and before he could really say anything else, Kuroo was pulling him towards the kitchen.

The kitchen was on the second floor, a small door on the corner of the living room and completely surrounded by thick walls, making it a lot quieter than the rest of the apartment. Usually, Kenma hated it and constantly complained to Shouyou that his kitchen was the most unpractical thing in the entire world. Today, though, Kenma had never been more grateful for the stupid architect who chose the weird placement of that kitchen.

Kuroo walked up to the fridge and got two bottles of beer. He handed one to Kenma, but he denied. “I don’t—I don’t actually drink”

“Oh, sorry” Kuroo returned the bottles to the fridge and got two coke cans instead. “Here” He handed Kenma a can and opened one for himself.

“You can drink the beer, you know.  And you don’t need to stay here with me; you can go have fun with your friends…”

“And leave you here surrounded by drunk people with only like, an iPhone app as entertainment? I don’t think so” Kuroo took a long gulp of coke and looked Kenma in the eyes. “Besides, I don’t know if you noticed, but you’re my friend and I really enjoy spending time with you”

Kenma looked down at his feet, trying to hide the blush that was starting to grow on his cheeks. This was starting to get ridiculous, Kuroo needed to stop being so goddamn _cute._

“Let’s go outside, we’ll stay on the balcony” Kuroo suggested. “This kitchen is in a really weird place and it creeps me out, like it’s built on top a fucking cemetery or something”

Kenma didn’t know what it was about Kuroo, but talking to him seemed easier than to other people. It didn’t drain him as much as other interactions would, and he felt like he could be himself around Kuroo. They talked about the most random topics, and, for the first time ever in his life, Kenma was having fun at a party.

“Oh, what the fuck is _he_ doing here?” Kuroo said suddenly. Kenma turned his head towards where he was looking and saw Shouyou talking animatedly to one of his friends from university, before he dropped out. Kenma never really talked to him, but the guy did not seem half bad.

“It’s one of Shouyou’s uni friends” Kenma told Kuroo. “Why? Do you know him?”

“Yeah, and he’s a dick, let’s get out of here before he sees me”

Like some sort of bad Karma, immediately after Kuroo said it, the guy raised his head and noticed the two of them. Smiling, he excused himself from Shouyou and started walking towards them with a disconcerting grin on his face.

“Kuroo” The man greeted. “Long time, no see”

“Hey Daishou” Kuroo said through his teeth, forcing the fakest smile Kenma had ever seen on his face. “Wow, I haven’t seen you since high school. You’ve aged like a meth addict”

Kenma didn’t understand what Kuroo was talking about. Daishou did look a bit older than his probably 21-24 years old, but Kuroo made it seem like he looked 50. ‘ _Probably just being petty like always. He really seems to hate this guy’_ Kenma thought.

Daishou seemed to hate Kuroo just as much, though. “You still have a dead skunk as hair, I see” Yeah, they definitely hated each other and it was making Kenma rather uncomfortable. “How’s that youtube thing working out for you?”

“Why don’t you ask Shika-chan? I’m 90% sure she watches my videos. Oh, wait, she dumped you again, right?”

“Well aren’t you so well informed? What about Lisa? Apparently you’ve forgotten about her already judging by your new boyfriend” Boyfriend? Kuroo didn’t have a boyfriend, did he?

 Wait.

Daishou was looking at Kenma.

 

Shit.

“Bitch, this is between you and me, leave Kenma out of this” Kuroo said. “Actually, I’m not even sure what _this_ is, so I’m just gonna ignore you and go someplace else with my friend here, you can do… whatever it is that you do at parties—I’m assuming destroying your liver and crying in a random corner over your miserable fucking life”

“Are you serious?”

“Please stop doing meth, it’s destroying your already below-average face”

Kuroo put a hand on Kenma’s back and led him somewhere else, leaving a frustrated Daishou behind. He could most certainly say that, yes, Kuroo Tetsurou was an incredibly interesting person to be around and that just made the funny feeling in his stomach grow bigger.

 

* * *

 

 

Many things in Kenma’s life came as a surprise. Never did he think he would be YouTube Japan’s top gaming channel, or that he would end up living with Haiba Lev of all people, or that he would live to see his friends confess the most fucked up shit in a game of Never Have I Ever. The universe loved proving Kenma wrong.

He wasn’t really sure how it started or whose idea was it to play the game, all he knew was that Lev, Morisuke, Shouyou, Kuroo, Koutarou, Tooru, Hajime and Tobio – also known as the only people left at 5:30 in the morning – now all sat around in a circle, with Kenma watching as a conscientious objector.

The game was absolutely _wild_. Out of the seven people that weren’t Kuroo, four admitted to have already had sex with him and six had already had sex with Tooru at some point too. Apparently, Kuroo had taught two people how to refine cocaine, despite never doing it himself, Lev hooked up with a 60 year-old twice, and Shouyou and Hajime had already accidentally killed at least three deer each by being shit at driving.

And, surprisingly enough, it only went downhill from there.

“Never have I ever been a stripper for a night” Tobio said, looking at Koutarou and Kuroo as they sighed and poured themselves a shot.

“It was only because we drank a whole bottle of 500 yen vodka, that thing is powerful, okay?” Koutarou explained.

“What kind of place just accepts two random drunk guys as strippers for a night?” Hajime asked.

“The shady type” Kuroo said. Neither he nor Koutarou offered any further explanation.

“Never have I ever _intentionally_ walked in on my parents having sex” Souyou said.

“No, no fuck you, I didn’t know what they were doing!” Tobio yelled.

“Shut up, Tobio, no one is that oblivious, take your drink”

Tobio poured himself a shot of vodka and chugged it. He was blushing furiously, much to everyone else’s amusement.

Next up was Tooru, who looked pensive for a moment before saying, “Never have I ever pierced my dick”

Koutarou immediately stood up and pointed his finger to Tooru. “IT WAS FOR, LIKE, A MONTH TOPS, IT DOESN’T COUNT!”

“Just drink the fucking thing, Bokuto, you Prince Albert-having  douche” Kuroo said.

“I’m being singled out here, why the fuck didn’t Akaashi come, again?”

“Cause he had to do that family thing today and it’s not like he would side with you anyways”

After Koutarou, reluctantly, took the shot, the game resumed with Hajime.

“Never have I ever had a threesome” He said. Kuroo, Koutarou, Morisuke and, much to Hajime and no one else’s surprise, Tooru all poured their drinks. “What the fuck Shittykawa, when did that happen?!”

“Calm down Iwa-chan, this was back when I was young and innocent, years ago”

“Back when you were young and innocent and had a threesome?” Hajime asked, fuming.

“Exactly”

Koutarou after everyone had taken their shots for the threesome, poured everybody some tequila and said, “Never have I ever been in such a confrontational game of Never Have I Ever…”

Everyone got their shot glasses and, after saying “Cheers” downed the whole thing.

“Never have I ever…” Kuroo paused to think for a bit. “Never have I ever had sex with a piece of food” All eyes were now on Lev, who reached for his glass. “Dude”

“Dude” Said Koutarou.

“Dude” Agreed Morisuke.

“Dude” Joined Tooru.

“What?” Lev asked “ _Everyone_ has practised giving head with a banana!”

“No, love” Tooru said “Some of us just practise on dicks”

“Whatever” Lev downed the drink and crossed his arms.

The room was quiet as Morisuke thought of something, until Kuroo broke the silence “What does it feel to give head to a banana?”

So now Kuroo was giving head to a banana.

Kenma guessed that things really did escalate pretty quickly in a room full of drunk 20-somethings. But he was trying not to look at Kuroo while he was giving head to a banana. So the plan of not developing a crush on his friend was failing miserably, but there was not much Kenma could really do. He blamed it on the banana.

“This is nothing like a dick, Lev, what were you thinking?” Kuroo said after a couple minutes of… experimenting.

“I don’t know, Tetsu-chan, you looked like you were enjoying it” Tooru teased.

“And you look like you popped a boner there, Oikawa, are you missing our time as fuck buddies? I don’t think Iwa-chan appreciates it” Indeed, Hajime did not look happy at Kuroo’s remark. God, this game was tearing families apart.

When they got back to the game, Morisuke said, “Never have I ever been called a fuckboy”

As Tooru and Tobio poured their drinks, Kuroo said, “Not to your face, no”

“Go fuck a banana, Kuroo”

“Never have I ever had a crush on a family member!” Lev exclaimed. As Koutarou got the tequila, a silence fell over the room.

“Bokuto-san, that’s gross” Shouyou said.

“Yeah, dude, it’s 2015, what the hell!” Morisuke shuddered.

“SHE WAS MY COUSIN AND I WAS 13 AND IT WAS JUST A CRUSH, OKAY!” Koutarou protested.

“I think thou dost protest too fucking much” Kuroo teased.

“I’m never telling any of you shit again!”

“Chug your drink, Sir IncestALot”

“Chug a fucking banana Kuroo”

Everyone started laughing at the two friends’ antics and, not managing to hold back anymore, Kenma started laughing too. It had been a long time since he had last laughed like that, tears forming in the corner of his eyes and shoulder shaking. As soon as the first snort left his mouth, he immediately covered his mouth and stopped.

Everyone was looking at him, silently and surprised, and Kenma started to blush. His heartbeat sped up and he began to sweat. But soon enough, everyone was smiling. Kuroo threw an arm around his shoulder in a half-hug as Shouyou said, “We did it, we broke Kenma”

 

* * *

 

 

The game had ended a while ago, and mostly everyone had passed out where they sat. Still, Kuroo couldn’t take the sound of Kenma’s laugh from his head. It did _things_ to Kuroo. Mostly it made him feel really warm and fuzzy, his brain sending red alert messages to the rest of his body. Kenma needed to stop being that cute immediately or Kuroo was surely going to short circuit.

The two of them were sitting out on the balcony, trying to cool down a bit and failing miserably due to the hot early morning summer air.

“Do you wanna go home or just crash here?” Kuroo asked.

“Well, I saw Morisuke and Lev leaving together so… I think I’ll just stay here” Kenma said. “I swear, Morisuke spends more time at my apartment than his own”

“I remember when I lived with Oikawa, Iwaizumi was just like a constant presence. There wasn’t a single day that I didn’t see the guy and I kinda felt like I was intruding on their relationship or something”

“Yes, I feel like that sometimes. What did you do to solve it?”

“Moved out. Left them to live their relationship and found another place for myself”

“Maybe I should too”

“Hey, I know we’ve only know each other for like a month, and I did a lot of tequila shots back there even though I said I wouldn’t drink today, which I’m sorry by the way, and this may be the alcohol talking but do you wanna, I don’t know, move in with me? Or something? Cause you wanna move out and well I have a spare room or we could look for a new apartment together cause living by yourself is really lonely and okay this is definitely the alcohol talking—“

“Kuro” Kenma interrupted. Did he just call him ‘Kuro’? Dear God in heaven, that was so cute, Kuroo was _screwed._ “I would love to move in with you. But maybe we should talk after we get some sleep and you’ve sobered up a little, okay?

“I… yeah, okay” Kuroo ran a hand through his hair and smiled. Kenma said yes. They were going to be roommates. And then they would see each other every day and – shit, in hindsight that was not a good idea.

_Well, future problems are for future me to handle._

“Let’s go inside” Kenma got up and offered Kuroo a hand. “I’m sure we can crash on the couch”

 

* * *

 

 

**Hinata Shouyou**    @number1shortie             4h

tfw you wake up and find 5 idiots sleeping on your floor

_[IMAGE ATTACHED]_

 

**sara david**   @saraqdavid                              2h

**@number1shortie**   omg look at **@thegreatoikawa** and **@hajimei91** all cuddled up  <3

 

**t(- -t)**      @imafckngninja                              30min

**@number1shortie**   THIS IS NOT A DRILL **@theoriginallolcat** AND **@kenmak** ARE SHARING THE COUCH HOLY SHIT GUYS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the plot thickens
> 
> poll (48 hours):  
> https://twitter.com/abarcelos_/status/760848452058091521
> 
> follow me on tumblr:  
> royal-society-of-pandas.tumblr.com
> 
> [EDIT]  
> When I find myself in times of writer's block, mother tumblr comes to me (I forgot to put the link the first time, sorry (⌒-⌒; ) ):  
> http://best-of-tumblr.tumblr.com/post/148489087281/hotmenandotherdistractions-tom-nippleston


	8. Blame It On Hinata's Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I swear, Iwa-chan sleeps enough for the both of us. I’m gonna go wake up my boyfriend, Kuroo, you should do the same”  
> “I ain’t waking up Iwaizumi, he’ll eat my face off!” Kuroo said defensively.  
> “No, not Iwa-chan, you idiot! Go wake up your boyfriend!”  
> “Kenma? But he’s not my boyfriend”  
> “You were cuddling and I heard you ask him to move in with you”  
> “I don’t see your point”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter than the last one and not very plot heavy because I'm freaking out over my sculpture project due this week. I'm :) fine ;) tho :) don't :) worry :) killme
> 
> I also just wanna clear this out: The youtube videos are usually released after the events of the normal pov's of the chapter. And at the end of this one there's a bit of a time jump but nothing too drastic (I believe)

**KenmaKGames** _uploaded a new video titled:_

** Twich Livestream – Party Hard | KenmakGames **

_1 week ago                                                         180,142 views_

 

_THIS LIVESTREAM WAS RECORDED ON TH 18 TH OF JULY, 2015_

Kenma adjusted his headphones and looked back at his monitor, making sure his facecam and subscriber count were not in the way and everyone could see the most of the game without missing anything important. He picked up his phone to send a text and then turned back to look at the chat. The opening screen to the game “Party Hard” took up most of the space, with Kenma’s face in the bottom left corner, smaller than he usually had it.

“Just over a hundred people, okay let’s start this. Can everybody hear me?” Kenma took a look at the answers in the chat saying that, yes, everyone could hear him just fine. “Good. Hello everyone, how are you doing?” He asked more out of politeness than curiosity.

“Today I’m gonna play this game called Party Hard, it was um… Shouyou’s recommendation. Apparently you’re some random guy who’s just trying to sleep but the neighbours are having a party, so he decided to just go over there and kill everyone—” Kenma sent another text before continuing “—which is something I can relate to”

Kenma pressed ‘new game’ and a pixelated house full of people appeared on the screen. They all started moving at once, be it dancing or just walking. One of the characters, a dark-haired man with a blue hoodie, had a white circle under him, meaning that that was Kenma. “There are currently 47 people in this house; I have to stab all of them. This is going to be… something.”

It turned out that stabbing 47 people without anyone noticing was harder than Kenma had thought.  Not that he had given it much thought. He was arrested four times before he got the hang of the game, and boy, _did he get the hang of the game._ Kenma managed to clear three levels without getting caught once, all while talking to the people in the chat – mostly answering whatever random questions they managed to come up with.

“Which Pokémon is best Pokémon?” Kenma read while throwing a girl out of the boat. “Like, which game or which creature? You need to be more specific. Best game is Pokémon Y, and I’m a big fan of flareon so, yeah”

There were still 32 people left at the party and Kenma was trying to disperse the people on a certain area to stab the 4 guys that were passed out there. As he did that, he sent another quick text.

“Would I ever get my ears pierced? Um, no but only because I’m super allergic to earrings” Kenma answered the chat. “I actually really like earrings, so if you can get yours pierced, maybe you should do it because it looks nice… I guess…”

After he entered the wrong door while trying to escape the police, Kenma was caught when there were only ten people left. He let out a sigh and got his phone.

“I did something really stupid and now I’m a little frustrated” Kenma said, looking over at what the people were saying. “Who am I texting? Uh, it’s just Kuroo. We need to decide something and he’s been texting me all day to see if we can get it done this week, hopefully”

Kenma’s eyes widened as the chat blew up with questions, but he couldn’t read a single one because they were passing by too quickly. “I don’t think I can say what it is, guys. Sorry” He loaded the game and soon was playing it again, ignoring all the people screaming nonsense at him. “The real question is: Can I get all the achievements tonight? Probably, but there’s this really dumb one that’s to load the game 100 times and it is the stupidest achievement I’ve ever seen and it will take forever, so let’s see”

In the end, Kenma did manage to get most of the achievements, except the one for loading the game 100 times and the one for getting all of the achievements.

“Well, now I guess I have to open and close this, rinse and repeat. Great achievement. 10 out of 10. Kill me. I’m… uh, I’ll kill the youtube video, because I won’t make youtube sit through this. So, hey youtube, thanks for watching me achievement grind and I’ll see you later”

 

 

 **MaskMan38**                                       _4 days ago_

ive never seen Kenma this pissed off at a game, i mean his eyebrow even twitched a little when he found out what he had to do for the achievement lmao

_88 likes_

 

 **Carla Romero**                                     _1 week ago_

THE FUCK WERE YOU TWO TEXTING ABOUT KENMA I NEED ANSWERS

_118 likes_

 

 **ifritz**                                                   _9 hours ago_

*lowkey dies*

_30 likes_

 

* * *

 

 

Upon waking up, Kuroo noticed a few things. For starters, his back was killing him, probably because he slept on a couch. The sun was also hitting him directly in the face and it was kind of uncomfortable, especially when added to his dry mouth and – thankfully minor—headache. And last but not least, he was definitely hugging someone.

His arm was thrown over something way too bony to be a pillow, hair tickled his nose and there was something warm pressed up against his chest. So, yeah, he was cuddling someone. Or a weird dog. God he hoped it was a weird dog, that would be a lot less awkward.

Opening his eyes slowly, Kuroo could see a mop of blond hair in desperate need of more bleach. The events of the previous night came hitting him in the face like a sack of cement thrown by an Olympic shot putter. He had asked Kenma to move in with him and then asked him to stay with him in the couch so he “wouldn’t be lonely”.

Mental note: never drink Oikawa’s premium brand tequila ever again.

Kuroo took a deep breath. Right now all he needed was coffee, he could think about what the fuck he was going to with the matter at hand once he was properly awake. He tried to get out of the couch as quietly as possible and without waking up Kenma – _He could not fucking wake up Kenma._

“Kuro?” He heard Kenma’s raspy voice call after him with the cute-not-really-a-nickname-but-still-adorable. Well, mission failed.

“Good morning” Kuroo whispered, seeing as Iwaizumi and Kageyama were still out on the floor. “I’m just gonna get myself some coffee, you can go back to sleep. Sorry for waking you up”

“’sokay” With that, Kenma was asleep once again.

Kuroo made his way to the kitchen, where Oikawa Talking to Bokuto. At some point, Akaashi had gotten there and was now resting his head on Bokuto’s shoulder, playing with his boyfriend’s hair. (It didn’t matter how many times Kuroo saw Bokuto with his hair down, he still found it weird.)

After saying a quiet and sleepy “good morning” to everyone in the room, Kuroo got himself a mug from the dish rack and moved towards the coffee pot, but Oikawa stopped him before he could pour himself some.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you” His friend adverted. “Shrimpy _does not_ know how to make coffee” Oikawa raised his mug at Kuroo for emphasis and let out a sigh. “Four tablespoons of sugar and this shit’s still bitter”

Kuroo groaned and poured himself some coffee, putting the mug down afterwards. He started looking through cabinets, dropping condiments and knocking over boxes as he looked for something, seeing as his mind was still a bit fuzzy and his eyes heavy-lidded and unfocused.

“Bro what are you doing?” Bokuto asked. “The sugar’s already on the counter”

“Salt” Was Kuroo’s brief answer.

“Dude are you okay? Is your blood-pressure low or something?”

“No. Salt. On coffee” Kuroo finally found the small container labelled “salt” and opened it, taking a pinch between his fingers.

“Koutarou, stop him before he hurts himself” Akaashi deadpanned.

“Tetsu-chan, I will throw cold water on your face if you don’t stop being weird” Oikawa said. Kuroo flipped him off. The next thing he knew, he was soaked and Bokuto was on the floor, laughing his arse off.

“DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK?” Kuroo yelled.

“I warned you. You were about to put salt in your coffee!”

Kuroo stared at Oikawa, wide-eyed in disbelief. He shoved his hand in the salt container and got another pinch of it, quickly throwing it in his mug. “Sodium chloride liberates sodium ions when mixed in an aqueous solution and reduces bitterness you stale piece of bread! I told you to stop texting Iwaizumi during Organic Chemistry II”

“Well, at least you’re awake, you looked like a zombie before the… bath” Oikawa said, crossing his arms and pouting.

“Fuck you. I’m gonna drink my coffee, it’ll be delicious and it’s like 30 degrees outside anyway so at least now I’m not hot anymore”

“Don’t worry, bro, you’re still hot to me” Bokuto said.

“Thanks, bro. You’re super hot too” Kuroo put a hand over his heart in affection”

“Bro”

“Bro”

“Jesus Christ” Akaashi and Oikawa said in unison.

That was when Hinata entered the kitchen, followed by a yawning Kageyama. Only then Kuroo noticed the clock on the wall that marked one in the afternoon. He couldn’t help but feel like he was taking advantage of Shrimpy’s hospitality.

“Well, Kenma and Iwa are still pretty much passed out downstairs. How are things up here?” Hinata asked.

“Fucked up. ‘Bout to die. Kuroo is a nerd. The usual” Oikawa said and let out a sigh. “I swear, Iwa-chan sleeps enough for the both of us. I’m gonna go wake up my boyfriend, Kuroo, you should do the same”

“I ain’t waking up Iwaizumi, he’ll eat my face off!” Kuroo said defensively.

“No, not Iwa-chan, you idiot! Go wake up _your_ boyfriend!”

“Kenma? But he’s not my boyfriend”

“You were cuddling and I heard you ask him to move in with you”

“I don’t see your point” That was a lie. Kuroo was not _that_ oblivious, he knew that what they were doing was pretty couple-y, but he didn’t like Kenma like that. They were friends, good friends. That was all. People moved in with their friends all the time. Kuroo and Oikawa had already lived together during university – although they _were_ fuck buddies all throughout senior year of high school. But he cuddled with Bokuto all the time – well, not so much now, since they stopped banging after Bokuto realized his massive crush on Akaashi. Still, he was sure normal friends also did all of that.

“Whatever, just go wake up Kenma” Oikawa huffed and got out of the kitchen. Kuroo followed him because _someone_ needed to wake up Kenma, otherwise he would probably sleep through the day.

Kuroo got downstairs in time to see Oikawa jump at Iwaizumi’s sleeping form saying “Wake up, lazy butt!”

“Fuck off Shittykawa, I’m sleeping” Iwaizumi groaned.

“Iwa-chaaaan, it’s already past one, you need to wake up!” Oikawa pouted.

“I hate you so fucking much” Iwaizumi said, rubbing his eyes. To anyone who didn’t know them, sometimes they looked like anything but boyfriends. Even Kuroo sometimes doubted their love for each other, but then there were moments like now, where Iwaizumi properly opened his eyes and looked at Oikawa and his expression just softened, like Oikawa was worth the universe and he just could never believe his luck. He felt a small tug in his heart as Oikawa kissed Iwaizumi good morning/afternoon – It had been so long since he had last dated anyone…

This was getting way too sappy for Kuroo’s own good, he needed to stop. He walked towards the couch where Kenma slept and poking him lightly.

“Hey, Kenma, time to wake up” Kuroo said. Kenma groaned. “C’mon dude, you can’t lay there forever”

“Yes I can” Kenma mumbled.

“Hinata made coffee”

“Shouyou’s coffee sucks”

“True, but I fixed it”

“Unless you’re a wizard, I don’t believe you”

“I’m a chemist, that’s like… almost an alchemist”

“Congrats, you’re two letters and a dead mother away from becoming Edward Elric”

“We will get our bodies back, Al!” Kenma finally raised his head from the pillow and looked at Kuroo. He had dark circles under his eyes, drool on his chin and looked like an angry kitten. It was endearing.

“That was the worst impression I’ve ever heard” Kenma said.

“Well, it did get you to raise your head so I consider that a win” Kuroo grinned and offered Kenma a hand. “Besides, you were supposed to make a consenting noise followed by ‘Nii-san’”

Kenma accepted Kuroo’s hand as support for getting up. “You’re delusional, Kuro”

“C’mon, sleepy-head, we shouldn’t stay here too long” Kuroo said, smiling.

 

* * *

 

 

From: Kenma  /ᐠ_ ꞈ _ᐟ\

15:23   So about that whole “moving in with you” thing

15:23   When can I?

 

To: Kenma  /ᐠ_ ꞈ _ᐟ\

15:28    oh right we never talked abt that lol

15:29    im happy you considered it

15:29    we would still need to figure out a lot of stuff, why?

 

From: Kenma  /ᐠ_ ꞈ _ᐟ\

15:30    I just got home and Lev and Morisuke are naked, I can’t handle much more

 

To: Kenma  /ᐠ_ ꞈ _ᐟ\

15:30    lol

 

From: Kenma  /ᐠ_ ꞈ _ᐟ\

15:32    fifth time this month

 

To: Kenma  /ᐠ_ ꞈ _ᐟ\

15:35    loooool

 

From: Kenma  /ᐠ_ ꞈ _ᐟ\

15:36    Stop laughing at my pain

 

To: Kenma  /ᐠ_ ꞈ _ᐟ\

15:38    nope :3

15:39    we can talk about the rent and bills and fucking apartment rules sometime this week

15:41    youll be ready to move in in a couple months maybe

 

From: Kenma  /ᐠ_ ꞈ _ᐟ\

15:42    Good, I’ve had enough of seeing Lev’s penis all the time

                                                                                                                                                         

To: Kenma  /ᐠ_ ꞈ _ᐟ\

15:42    loooool

 

* * *

 

 

 **theoriginallolcat** posted a new picture on **Instagram™**

“New snapback, same old cat on my shoulder (ﾐΦ ﻌ Φﾐ)ﾉ”

 

 **alysa28**   am I seeing things or is Kuroo actually wearing his earrings again?

 **nanatarae**   July 20th: The Return of the Earrings. Coming to theatres near you this summer.

 

 

 **Anonymous asked:** so like a couple days ago Kenma said on his stream that he liked earrings and now, after saying that he was "more of a piercings guy" and that he "outgrew them" and not wearing them for two years Kuroo posts a picture wearing all them

**nerdiestkuroo answered:**

[COINCIDENCE_I_THINK_NOT. gif]

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love throwing in smart Kuroo from time to time. 
> 
> Party Hard:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_niaSOzi20
> 
> Poll (48 hours): https://twitter.com/abarcelos_/status/764974579869679617
> 
>  
> 
> Hey, I'm participating on a zine! Please check out my preview for one of the drawings I'll be submitting (it'll be one kuroken and one iwaoi!) and please consider buying the zine! Your support always makes me immensely happy and happy Alice = more content for you guys <3  
> Preview: http://royal-society-of-pandas.tumblr.com/post/148809198947/heres-the-lineart-preview-of-my-first-piece-for  
> Preorder: http://hqfanzine.tictail.com/product/haikyuu-fashion-fan-zine-digital


	9. 404_Kenma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto Koutarou was no poet, nor was he good with words or what most people considered “smart”. He didn’t mind that, he knew that people were good at certain things and sucked at others. Sure, he was no chemical engineer like Kuroo or astrophysicist like Oikawa; Bokuto couldn’t play ten instruments like Akaashi or speak six languages like Daichi, couldn’t paint a beautiful masterpiece the way Iwaizumi could. But he could hold his breath for two minutes, and he managed to fit three whole donuts in his mouth once, and if anyone had a tech problem, Bokuto had no problem fixing those too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... this is later than originally planned... I'll try to bring you guys the next chapter sooner, but there's a lot of stuff going on right now, sorry if it's late too <3
> 
> Important information in the end notes

** imabirdmf ** _uploaded a new video titled:_

**STORYTIME WITH BOKUTO #9 | P.E. SUCKS**

_3 days ago                           1,322,609 views_

 

“HEY HEY HEY BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, MY NAME IS BOKUTO AND WELCOME TO STORYTIME” Bokuto screamed at the camera. All of his videos always started really energetic (and nine times out of ten they continued so for the rest of the video), he always screamed his usual introduction while spinning on his chair and usually did weird bits in between topics. Whenever someone asked him why he did that, he would say that he is always as upbeat as possible so that the people watching could get upbeat too.

“Today I'll tell the story of the huge pile of shit that was high school P.E.” Bokuto made a gesture that looked suspiciously like he was making a rainbow with his hands. “So, during the first year of high school we had this really stupid teacher, Mr. Nakamura, and he loved to make us suffer, so, being the little shits we were, we loved to annoy the crap out of him.

“First year of high school. There we were– so young and so dumb. And also very bored before class started, so we started a shoe throwing contest” Bokuto promptly took a shoe that was on the floor and threw it across the room and out of frame while making a stupid ‘woosh’ noise. When the sound of the shoe hitting something came up, Bokuto threw his hands up and continued the story.

“And P.E was extra hard that day! We ran so many laps, and that’s saying something ‘cause I was on the volleyball team and pretty much used to running laps. In the end, coach said that it was because we were throwing shoes earlier” The video cut to Bokuto sitting on the floor in the back of his room, completely out of focus and screaming a high pitched “What the hell?!” before going back to the original set up.

He spun on his chair again while drinking diet coke and turned back to the camera. “And then a few days later, because we were a bunch of idiots, we started playing bodies before P.E. Now, if you’re not familiar with the game bodies, it’s a game where you punch people, avoiding their faces, and there’s nothing more to it.

“Now,  _you’d think_  that at least someone would recognise that as a horrible idea, since coach made us run like a thousand laps just for throwing shoes across the room. But no one did, so there we were, punching the shit out of each other” Bokuto proceeded to punch the air repeatedly and almost fell on the floor with a yelp. “And there was this one kid who was just sitting there doing nothing and taking the punches, which is a strategy I would not recommend when playing that particular game. And then he stumbled. And fell. And passed out.

The video cut again to an unfocused Bokuto sitting on the floor, saying a stretched out and cut short “Shiiiiii-” Before cutting back.

 

“The coach got there and saw us gathered around the guy, so he woke him up and asked ‘What happened?’, clearly pissed off. And the guy noticed it so he said ‘Oh, i don’t know I felt dizzy and passed out’. Although it could be because he was concussed and genuinely didn’t remember but whatever.

“And we went along with it until this fucking stupid dude told the truth. So I selflessly helped the other guy to the infirmary and stayed there with him for support. And apparently coach made practise a lot harder than the shoe day, but I wouldn’t know” Bokuto shrugged and winked at the camera. “And then later that year he was fired, but no one ever told us why.

“He probably fucked someone he shouldn’t, right?

 

 **Alexa Paglia** _3 days ago_

Why is Bokuto so fuckgin cute ?? ?

_40 likes_

 

 **Jigglypuff** _2 hours ago_

is that akaashi’s shirt thrown on the bed? o-O

_283 likes_

View all 52 replies ▽

>   **Cat the Warrior**   _30 min ago_
> 
> Well, it sure is the shirt he was wearing on his last video….
> 
> _12 likes_
> 
> **Maxx1l**   _15 min ago_
> 
> holy shit at this point we’re just waiting for the announcement video to confirm that they’re together
> 
> _5 likes_

 

* * *

 

Bokuto Koutarou was no poet, nor was he good with words or what most people considered “smart”. He didn’t mind that, he knew that people were good at certain things and sucked at others. Sure, he was no chemical engineer like Kuroo or astrophysicist like Oikawa; Bokuto couldn’t play ten instruments like Akaashi or speak six languages like Daichi, couldn’t paint a beautiful masterpiece the way Iwaizumi could. But he could hold his breath for two minutes, and he managed to fit three whole donuts in his mouth once, and if anyone had a tech problem, Bokuto had no problem fixing those too.

Many people called him stupid, but he didn’t mind that either. People could think what they wanted of him. Sure, he didn’t go to university and didn’t graduate with honours from high school, but he managed to be Japan’s 4th best high school level wing spiker in just three years and achieve 5 million subscribers on youtube in just under a year, now surpassing the 8 million mark. He didn’t want to be “smart” because he was already happy with who he was.

But there were times, like now, when he wanted to have what his friends did. He wanted to write or paint something beautiful, or know how to explain love and stars in the scientific and the artistic way. Wanted to write the most beautiful song and know those phrases and words that only exist in certain languages and that manage to name those feelings that no one could explain.

He wanted all of that to try and describe–  to him, to whom he loved, to the world –  just how beautiful Akaashi Keiji looked in the morning, resting his head on Bokuto’s chest, the warm morning glow on his face and the slightly parted lips.

At this point, Bokuto was 87% sure that his boyfriend was an actual angel.

“Good morning” He said when Akaashi started blinking awake.

“Good– good morning, Koutarou” Akaashi said in between yawns.

“Can I ask you something?” Bokuto ran a hand through Akaashi’s hair, gentling coming down to rest his hand on his cheek.

“I literally just woke up”

“Why are you so beautiful?” He asked. Akaashi blushed and averted his gaze, removing Bokuto’s hand from his cheek and interlacing their fingers.  

“You need to stop being so cheesy and embarrassing. It's going to kill me someday”

Bokuto smiled brightly and kissed Akaashi's cheek. Akaashi fell back on the bed muttering “Hergh, dead” which made Bokuto burst out laughing and put a small smile on his face. “I'm also hungry, feed me”

“Today's breakfast menu includes slightly burnt toast or premium cereal” Bokuto said.

“I'll take the cereal”

“C’mon then, you're not getting food as long as you're still in bed” Bokuto jumped out of bed and made his way out of their bedroom and into the kitchen, not really minding his state of undress.

 

They were halfway through breakfast when Akaashi brought it up. “Oh, YouCon sent the email with room details for the hotel and our schedule for the whole weekend. There's a map of the convention center showing the panels we need to be at, so you should take a look at it”

“Really? Holy shit, it's gonna be awesome!” Bokuto leaped out of the chair, pumping his fists up in the air. “Hey, where did I put my cellphone again?”

“Living room, Koutarou” Akaashi got up from his chair, setting his bowl in the sink. Bokuto immediately ran out towards the living room, eager to open the email and check out all of the cool stuff he would do come August.

 

* * *

 

 

To: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

20:30 what the fuck

 

From: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

20:33 whatever u think i did it wasnt me

20:34 unless its the broken curtain rings on your living room. i did that but it was like 4 months ago and idk how it took u so long to find it

 

To: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

20:34 my curtain rings are broken?

 

From: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

20:34 of course not who told u that

20:35 anyway what the fuck why

 

To: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

20:35 youcon didnt book my hotel room!!!

20:35 how am i supposed to live in australia for a week without a hotel room??? im gonna get eaten by spiders

 

From: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

20:38 did you fill out the request form

 

To: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

20:39 the wat

 

From: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

20:40 a month ago they sent out request forms that u filled out if u wanted them to book u a hotel room

20:40 did u srsly forget

 

To: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

20:42 …

20:42 maybe

 

From: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

20:44 well at least u can share a room with akaashi

20:45 but send them an email saying u two will share the room

20:45 do it now before u forget

 

To: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

20:47 bro ur the best

20:48 idk what id do without u <3

 

From: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

20:50 ud probs get eaten by a spider

20:51 can i go back to playing my game now?

 

To: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

20:52 since when do u play games???

 

From: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

20:55 since kenma said “what do u mean uve never played zelda omg im lending u my ds ill survive on the psp just please play majoras mask”

 

To: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

21:00 he lended u his ds?

 

From: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

21:03 ye

21:03 why

 

To: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

21:04 no reason dont worry abt it

 

From: Bruh (=^ェ^=)

21:07 ???

21:07 alright then

 

* * *

 

 

“Keiji” Bokuto called out after reading out Kuroo's last text.

“What is it?” Akaashi yelled back from the kitchen. Bokuto waited until his boyfriend appeared at the door to the living room, glass of water in hand and leaning on the doorframe.

“You know how you carry that music notebook everywhere? It's your most prized possession, right?” Bokuto asked, and Akaashi merely nodded. “Hypothetically speaking, would you lend it to me if I asked?”

“Of course, I trust you more than anyone” Akaashi answered – Bokuto blushed a little.

“But would you lend it to anyone else?”

“Not in a million years” Akaashi deadpanned.  

“Huh” Bokuto said. “Interesting. Oh, and are any of our curtain rings broken?”

“Last three to the left, been like that since May” Akaashi downed the rest of his water and turned back to the kitchen. “Thought you'd noticed”

“Son of a bitch” Bokuto opened the message app once more, but remembered one more thing and his finger hovered over Kuroo's contact. “Hey, Keiji, speaking of hotel rooms, uh, funny story–”

 

* * *

 

“Is this the last one?” Kuroo asked as he put the large box down. The worst part of moving was definitely carrying all those boxes to the apartment. Kenma was starting to question whether he really needed all that stuff. The good part was that it was summer and summer was hot – and while Kenma never particularly enjoyed summer, Kuroo got really hot and sweaty carrying all those boxes and was now shirtless. The only thing Kenma could think of as Kuroo set that box down and grabbed his bottle of water was ‘Dear god, I'm so gay’.

“Yeah, that's it” Kenma said.

At some point during the two months that they got to know each other the ‘I’m attracted to Kuroo but let's be real who isn't’ thought was replaced by ‘Godammit I have a huge crush on him’. Kenma still wasn't sure how he felt about that. He never liked crushes and the anxiety that came with having them, and now that his crush was also his friend that just made everything more complicated.

Kenma still didn't know why he agreed to move in with Kuroo. It was probably because if he saw Lev’s dick one more time he would have a breakdown. He thought that maybe it wouldn't be too bad and that sharing such a small space with Kuroo could make the crush dissipate, and only the friendly feelings remain.

It all went to shit when Kuroo tripped while walking over to the door and ended up spilling the water he was drinking all over his torso and jeans not even two minutes after Kenma had finished moving in all of his stuff.

_Kenma.exe stopped working._

“Shit” Kuroo said.

 _Shit indeed,_ Kenma thought.

“Well, at least I'm cooler now” Kuroo added. “Damn I hate summer” He walked over to a large mug next to the door and pulled out a key from it, then handed the key to Kenma. “So, roomie, here's your key to the building, front door and back door to the apartment. All in a cutesy cat keychain”

Kenma took the keys, admiring the keychain. It was a simple black chibi cat that looked way too familiar.

“Kuro, did you get this from your own shop?” Kenma asked and showed him the keyring that had the cat version of Kuroo that was present in all of his merch – emo fringe and everything.

“I did, now you can show your love for me to everyone!” Kuroo raised his arms for a second and poked Kenma in the nose with a “boop”.

_Why is he so fucking cute?! How is that allowed?! Get a grip Kenma!_

“I have to find a new keychain” Was what Kenma decided to say.

“Kenmaaaa, that's so mean! I'll never recover” He merely made a dismissive hand gesture and Kuroo pouted.

“Let's set up all the tech stuff in the office and the consoles in the living room. If I don't get it done now, I never will” Kenma said, trying to avoid eye contact.

“Urgh, fine” Kuroo said. “We can set up the consoles first. Or we can go out for lunch! I'm hungry” Kuroo grabbed his discarded shirt and dried himself. He then got a random one that was thrown over the couch (Kenma didn't question that) and put it on.

“I… I guess we could go out for lunch, then”

And that was when Kuroo grabbed his hand, dragging Kenma towards the lift and screaming “To Pizza Hut!” And the butterflies in his stomach went wild, the blush on his cheeks spread wider. His skin tingled where Kuroo was touching him and the smell of deodorant, faint cologne and sweat made his head dizzy for all of the wrong reasons.

Kenma remembered that anime he watched with Shouyou, the weird one with the rich kids and the incest, that Kenma liked solely because the senpai was trying to be noticed by the kouhai. He imagined, if a fit of cheesiness and fondness for the other person involved, that if his life was that anime, that moment would be the one in slow motion, with flowers blooming in the background and that guitar riff playing. The mellow notes captured pretty well what he was feeling.

 

_I'm knees deep in shit here, aren't I?_

 

* * *

 

 

 **Kuroo <3**  @theoriginallolcat             4h

having lunch with the new roommate  **@kenmak**  :3c  
  
_[IMAGE ATTACHED]_

 

 **Ginger**   @kcatlove                             2h

 **@theoriginallolcat @kenmak** so blessed. so moved. so grateful. cant believe this is my life. never going to take it for granted. always going to give back. thank you

 

 **Ash**    @tragiciandhn                          30min

 **@theoriginallolcat @kenmak** HOOooolyyY ShiT HOOLY Fukc OmyGoDD HOly BABY JESUS OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DUDE

 

 

**tumblr - Trending Now**

Kuroo Tetsurou | Kozume Kenma | Fashion | rooster teeth | rwby | Harry Styles | sunset | youtuber

 

 **kurokens-.tumblr.com** :

> IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING AM I DREAMING DID KUROO AND KENMA ACTUALLY MOVE IN TOGETHER WHAT IS HAPPENING I NEED CONCRETE EVIDENCE @GOD PLEASE HELP ME OUT HERE

   2,306 notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *AGGRESSIVELY SINGS THE GUITAR RIFF FROM OHSHC*
> 
> The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (really old gameplay but... it's an old game):  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vv9j3-QgRr8&list=PLF41D831CF4427BE5
> 
> No poll this time guys, because i don't know how long it'll take me to write it :/
> 
> Now, a small cry for help from yours truly. I haven't really been having the best couple of weeks, a lot of family issues and uni issues and money issues. And I always try to bring you guys something nice, with only your happiness in mind, because if you guys are happy then so am I! But art supplies for uni are expensive and coupled with buying food and paying for transportation and everything else, I just can't buy the supplies I need. So, I'm leaving here my commissions info, for those of you who can afford and want to buy some of my art. Thank you for reading this and my fic, and please consider commissioning me <3  
> http://royal-society-of-pandas.tumblr.com/post/149341493437/royal-society-of-pandas-commissions-are-open-hey


	10. #KurooTetsurouPrimeMinister2k16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Living with Kuroo was… different. He had a lot of weird habits and quirks, but it was definitely an upgrade from the messy and foodless apartment he had shared with Lev. Kuroo seemed to enjoy Kenma’s company In a way that no one before did. Sure, his friends didn’t seem bothered by him, and Shouyou appeared to like him enough, but whenever they were both home, Kuroo made an effort to be in the same room as him if Kenma felt comfortable with it – which, surprisingly, he usually did. 
> 
> They always cooked together, talked about everything and anything, Kuroo asked him about games and Kenma asked Kuroo about TV shows, they marathoned Game of Thrones on Thurdays and Red vs Blue on Saturdays, chores meant Twenty One Pilots playing at top volume and video planning days meant background Final Fantasy soundtrack. Kenma liked it a lot. 
> 
> But it did nothing to make his crush go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been so long I'm so sorry ;-; I'm moving and there's just so many projects due every day ever and I've been dissociating like crazy and ugh. Life. And here I am with a tiny ass chapter as compensation... lot's of domestic kuroken tho!

_Kenmakgames uploaded a new video titled:_

** Until Dawn part 1 (With Kuroo) | KenmaKGames **

_18 hours ago                           983,255 views_

The video began with Kuroo spinning on his chair as Kenma synchronised audio, webcam and screen capture. Kuroo stopped spinning and took a sip of his Sprite. “What are we gonna play?” He asked.

“Until Dawn” Kenma got up from his chair and turned off the lights in the room, leaving both of them in almost complete darkness except for the brightness coming from the TV. “It came out last week and it’s apparently pretty good”

“Wh- why did you turn the lights off?”

“It’s a horror game” Kenma could be heard opening a door off-screen, providing some extra lighting for the time being. Footsteps were heard as he exited the room, leaving Kuroo to complain by himself.

“Are you fucking—“ Kuroo closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. “You see, okay, at this point, you’re just doing this to piss me off” The door was shut and the room went back to darkness.

“Calm down, I got you the cat” Kenma said, handing his friend something vaguely resembling a black cat, which was mostly invisible in the dark room if it weren’t for the bright yellow eyes and vague shine on the fur where the TV brightness hit it. “I’d get both of them but Pie is sleeping so content yourself with Batnyan”

After a hard cut, the image of Kuroo and Kenma was swept to the upper right corner. The screen displayed a butterfly with a small text about the Butterfly Effect over it in white. “Why does every choice-based game starts with something about the butterfly effect?” Kenma mumbled.

The beginning credits appeared as a white light travelled around the now unfocused  butterfly’s body.  “Dude this is trippy as fuck, I feel like I’m on mushrooms watching it” Kuroo commented. Kenma ignored him.

“Do I control it or do you want to give it a go?” Kenma asked.

“I’ll do it, doesn’t seem too bad” Kuroo said. And it really didn’t look too bad at first. The characters pulled a bad prank on a girl and she ran away, her sister went out to look for her and a guy named Josh was passed out.

The worst part was that Kuroo _sucked_ at video games. He constantly ran into things and got turned around, and when the game started asking for time based actions, it all went to shit. (“Press square” “I don’t know which one is square” “It’s X on the xbox controller” “Still have no idea, we ran out of time, she fell”) But, sure, there were some weird shadows and a glimpse of someone holding a huge knife, but all in all, the game wasn’t that scary.

“Do I go for the fast route or the safe one?” Kuroo asked when he was prompted to choose one.

“Go safe, you suck” Kenma said.

“Our sister might be bleeding out somewhere, we need to go faster dude!”

“You’ll miss the action again and she’ll fall down and snap her neck. Go safe, Kuro”

“Fuck you, I’m going fast” Kuroo didn’t miss the action button that time, and Kenma had to endure Kuroo’s smugness for half of the video.

They argued over anything, it was as though Kuroo disagreed with Kenma simply out of spite. Each option the game offered generated a full minute argument that would probably get the girl killed in real life and at some point, Kenma became exasperated on a level never seen before by YouTube.

“Just follow the fucking deer, Kuro” He said in a slightly raised voice, so different from his usual apathetic one.

 “I’m not following the deer, it’s gonna eat my intestines!” Kuroo shouted. “Besides, there’s something on the ground over there, let’s take a look at it”

“The deer wasn’t going to eat your intestines, you should’ve at least tried to see what happened to it”

“We’ve moved past the deer, Kenma. Get over it and tell me what the hell is R2 so I can pick up this whatever it is”

Kenma sighed and looked at Kuroo. “That’s the right trigger”

“So the thing in the back, right?” Kuroo asked, pressing the button without waiting for an answer. The character picked up the totem and waited for the motion that would make the character turn it around. Only problem was, no matter how much Kuroo turned the controller, the totem did not move. “I c—I can’t – I can’t – it won’t fucking move”

“What are you doing, you hit the menu. Just turn your hand over – what the hell, Kuro?”

“I don’t know, there’s a mic here, it’s difficult… I put it down. Sorry”

“Jesus Christ, Kuro, you’re going to get this girl killed”

“No, I won’t”

Two minutes later the girl and her sister were falling down a cliff, one of them landing on her back on a boulder and breaking her spine. “Alright, we lost them, but I don’t think we could have prevented that” Kuroo said.

Suddenly, they were in a psychologist’s office and the game had turned first person. The psychologist was talking to them and showed them a picture, asking how it made them feel. The picture was of a scarecrow on a cornfield, with a red barn in the background. The man asked if the picture made them happy or uneasy.

“It makes me happy” Kuroo said, picking the ‘happy’ option.

“Bullshit” Kenma accused. “You are scared of everything and last week you said that you hated scarecrows because they terrified you”

“I am a new man. It’s a cute and peaceful picture”

“Why don’t I believe you?” Kenma asked sarcastically.

“No, look, there’s corn—industry, agriculture is happening, society is not falling apart, people have jobs. Honestly, it’s better than the current economy”

Then, something else never before seen by YouTube happened. Kenma threw his head back and laughed. For most it would be barely considered more than a chuckle, but Kenma snorted and clutched his stomach and it was the equivalent of him crying of laughter while rolling on the floor in Kenma’s standards.

“Kuroo Tetsurou for Prime Minister 2k16” He said.

 

**Anime Panda**                 _10 hours ago_

*whispers into the mic* he made Kenma laugh dude this is true fucking love my guy he made Kenma laugh what the fuck

_29 likes_

 

**just a lonely broccoli**      _7 minutes ago_

I AM PROPERLY DEAD SEE YOU FUCKERS AT MY FUNERAL

_2 likes_

 

**Delta Gaming**                     _3 hours ago_

#KurooTetsurouPrimeMinister2k16

_104 likes_

 

* * *

 

Living with Kenma was… interesting. After a month, Kuroo got pretty used to game sounds at 3 am, tripping over books and cables that were just left on the floor, and the seemingly endless supply of sweets in the fridge and cupboards. The extra cat confused him sometimes, and Kenma rarely ever left the house– _that couldn't be healthy right? –_ but other than that Kenma was a great roommate.

And then there were times when Kuroo would just get home from the gym to find Kenma sitting on the couch wearing one of Kuroo's sweaters that were always thrown over the couch. That one did _things_ to Kuroo. Bad things. Things related to multiple organs on his body.

He ignored everything.

The most important part of Kenma's routine, though, was the weekly reruns of his favourite show that he did every Saturday afternoon. It was the most important because if Kuroo tried to interrupt him, or asked him to do something as he was watching the damn thing, he would most likely die.

It was an American web series called Red vs Blue and before living with Kenma, Kuroo had never before heard of it – much to Kenma's disappointment. And, the thing was, apart from being made using one of Kenma's favourite videogames, Kuroo saw nothing else that could appeal to Kenma in it. He knew that because he was now forced to watch all thirteen fucking seasons of the show with him.

Red vs. Blue was a huge meme. Little to no plot, dick jokes everywhere, constant bickering, laughable villains and plenty more dick jokes. Kuroo loved it. But it was the kind of thing he would watch with Bokuto while absolutely pissed, not with Kenma on a Saturday afternoon.

“Why do you like the show so much?” Kuroo questioned his roommate halfway through season five. “Honestly, it doesn't seem like your type of show”

“I like the plot and the characters. The freelancers especially” Kenma said. “Also there are a bunch of Halo references which is pretty cool”

“Plot? What plot? Also, there's like three freelancers, one is an idiot, one is dead and the other one is super badass but the other two suck”

“Wait until season six” was Kenma's only response.

Season six came and, with it, Kuroo's newfound appreciation for the show. It had plot twists and a badass character and a terrifying villain and it was great in so many levels.

“This is the best part about this show, it's silly comedy for five seasons, then it's badass and then you start crying” Kenma said as he removed the DVD from the console.

“Wait what”

“Season ten finale breaks everyone, you’ll see”

“Aw, Kenma, did you cry?” Kuroo teased. As the seconds passed and Kenma didn't answer, his grin only grew wider. “You totally cried, holy shit”

“It's an emotional scene, okay? You'll see when we get to it”

“It's almost dinner time, we should probably get to _that_ first” Kuroo said getting up from the couch. But Kenma only stared at his box set.

“Or we could just… order pizza and… watch… season seven”

“You really like this series, huh? Alright, Pizza Hut or Domino’s?”

“Pizza Hut. Order some apple pies too. Oh, and garlic knots”

“Where does all that food go? Honestly, you do nothing all day and only eat crap”

“Does that mean no garlic knots?”

“Are you kidding me, I love those things. Set everything up, I'll call them”

 

* * *

 

 

Living with Kuroo was… different. He had a lot of weird habits and quirks, but it was definitely an upgrade from the messy and foodless apartment he had shared with Lev. Kuroo seemed to enjoy Kenma’s company In a way that no one before did. Sure, his friends didn’t seem _bothered_ by him, and Shouyou appeared to like him enough, but whenever they were both home, Kuroo made an effort to be in the same room as him if Kenma felt comfortable with it – which, surprisingly, he usually did.

They always cooked together, talked about everything and anything, Kuroo asked him about games and Kenma asked Kuroo about TV shows, they marathoned Game of Thrones on Thurdays and Red vs Blue on Saturdays, chores meant Twenty One Pilots playing at top volume and video planning days meant background Final Fantasy soundtrack. Kenma liked it a lot.

But it did nothing to make his crush go away.

Kuroo’s dorkiness and overall cheery personality became more prominent when they shared the same living space. That and his apparent incapability of wearing a shirt at home. That one was though.

As soon as Kuroo got home, the first thing he always did was take off whichever piece of clothing was covering his torso and proceed to throw it over the couch. Kenma would sometimes take it and wear it when he was playing games. He didn’t know _why_ he did it, but he did. And when Kuroo saw Kenma wearing his shirts he started acting weird. He ignored everything.

Kenma was currently setting up season 7 of RvB while Kuroo called Pizza Hut from th kitchen for whatever reason. As he returned the season 6 Blu-ray to its case, he could hear Kuroo returning to the room, talking on the phone.

“Yeah, yeah that’s-“ He said to the person on the other end. “That’s one meat lover’s and, uh, one five pepper pepperoni. An order of garlic knots, yeah, and one of apple pies. No, hang on”

Kuroo lowered his phone and looked over at Kenma. “She said that if we order a Pepsi with it, we get a free cookie, you know, the big one?” He said. Kenma didn’t look away from the screen, simply gave Kuroo a thumbs up and went back to the setting the audio preferences. “Alright, we’ll take it”

The pizza arrived halfway through the 11th episode. They managed to eat everything and finish the season, but Kuroo said they couldn’t watch another one because he had to go to Oikawa’s to settle some things for the panel they would be hosting at YouCon. Once Kuroo was out of the apartment, Kenma let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

He had to solve this whole “feeling” thing ASAP.

It was a hazard to his health.

 

* * *

 

 

“Uuugh, can’t believe it’s a 20 hour flight” Bokuto complained. “Why didn’t you tell me that sooner, bro?”

“It’s not a 20 hour flight” Kuroo said. “It’s a 9 hour flight to Sydney, but since we’re all a bunch of idiots and only bought the tickets last week, we’re now stuck with the one that’ll stop in Hong Kong for 10 hours while we slowly, but surely, die on an airport McDonald’s”

The group of YouTubers (plus Suga and Daichi, who were going just for the kicks, and Iwaizumi who didn’t trust Oikawa on his own in a foreign country) were standing on the departure lobby of the Haneda Airport, waiting for their currently 2 hour delayed flight. With all of Kuroo’s piercings and tattoos, Bokuto and Kenma’s weirdly coloured hair, Oikawa’s too-fashionable-for-an-airport clothes, Akaashi’s 3 instrument cases (one of them being a giant cello), and Lev’s 196 centimetres of height, they were, without doubt, the oddest group of people in the room.

“I blame Sawamura” Oikawa said offhandedly while looking at his phone.

“Up yours, Oikawa, how is this my fault?” Daichi screamed from where he sat.

“No, no, I agree with him” Kuroo said. “This is definitely your fault Daichi”

“What?!”

“You’re the dad, you should have planned this better”

“For the last time, I’m not all of you people’s dad, stop calling me that”

“Hey, dad” Bokuto called. “Can I have some candy?”

“Quit it, Bokuto”

“Mum, dad is being mean to me”

“Daichi, be nice to the kids” Sugawara said.

“What the – Suga!”

Kuroo sat down next to Kenma, who played on his 3ds while everyone turned against Daichi. “When we were in uni we all gave Daichi a ‘world’s best dad’ mug on father’s day” Kuroo told him “Like, Bo, Oikawa, and I, we didn’t plan anything, we just got there with a mug each. He was so mad he broke Oikawa’s”

Kenma smiled a little, Kuroo noticed. “Deep, deep down, I think he likes it” He continued. “He actually has feelings, the loser. I don’t have them, I was born better”

“You were crying last week because, and I quote, ‘Gerard Way’s face is too beautiful’” Kenma said.

“It’s not like I’m wrong”

“Kenma-san~” Lev called over from where he stood in front of the TV which displayed the status of the flights.

“I don’t derve this, I pay taxes” Kenma muttered under his breath.

“This says our flight is landing!”

“Thank fucking Christ” Kuroo heard Iwaizumi say while pushing Oikawa.

“Iwa-chan, c’mon just one selfie before we board” Oikawa begged. “Pretty please. If you love me you will do it”

“My body is attracted to yours, but when you open your mouth, my brain gets angry” Iwaizumi complained but actually moved closer to his boyfriend.

“You weren’t saying that last night~”

“Yeah, see, that’s why”

Everyone quickly gathered their things, Lev taking a little longer than most when he couldn’t find his passport, and made their way to the gate. Kuroo casually threw an arm around Kenma’s shoulder, not really minding it. He felt Kenma twitch but he didn’t walk away or completely freeze, so Kuroo assumed it was fine.

“You nervous?” Kuroo asked. “You’ve been kinda jumpy all day long”

“No, that’s not it, it’s I just –“ Kenma fumbled with his words. I made Kuroo smile a little, it was cute. “I mean, I’m fine with flying, I really like it, actually. I like watching the clouds from above and how everything seem just so… small. It calms me down, in a weird way”

“You can have the window seat” Kuroo said. “If you want, that is. I don’t mind the aisle seat, kinda prefer it, to be honest”

“Oh. I’d like that. Thank you, Kuro”

“No problemo” Kuroo flashed Kenma his best grin and tried not to blush. “Let’s get on this damn thing before Oikawa personally drags us there”

Once they were all settled, occupying four and a half consecutive rows, crammed in together and chatting excitedly about the trip and the convention, Oikawa – who sat in front of all of them with Iwaizumi – took the opportunity to take a selfie with everyone together for his Instagram before they took off.

“Alright everyone, try to look at least presentable!” He said, cheerily.

Oikawa and Akaashi both put up peace signs, Daichi threw an arm around Suga and they both smiled, Bokuto dabbed, Kuroo quickly picked up Kenma Lion King style – much to the latter’s annoyance –, Lev just threw his arms up from the last row, and Iwaizumi barely even looked at the camera at all. It was the best damn picture they had ever taken.

 

* * *

 

 

**v(*** **ﾟ** **▽** **ﾟ** ***)v**   **@ YouCon**   @thegreatoikawa                                 20 min

We beautiful      **instagram.com/thegreatoikawa/p/D03sjUm1nh4N1sG4y**

**Rin Matsuoka’s Goggles**    @bayleeboo                  15 min

**@thegreatoikawa** *NANTS IGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA INTENSIFIES*

 

**Iris --** @jimash_i11                                                                         9 min

**@thegreatoikawa** this is everything I’ve ever wanted and more bless you

 

**Kuroo <3 @ YouCon**  @theoriginallolcat                                4min

**@thegreatoikawa** bitch we gorgeous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They need to sort some shit out.
> 
> Also when I said up there that Kenma’s friends seemed to tolerate him and that Shouyou just “liked him enough” I’m not invalidating their friendship. Kenma’s friends like him, Hinata loves him – they are best friends after all- but those are the usual thought someone with social anxiety experiences. We don’t really believe it when our friends tell us that they like us and that we’re not annoying, and since Kenma has social anxiety in this fic, it’s just something that he would casually think. Kuroo seems to always give him some sort of validation so it’s easier for Kenma to believe it when he says that he enjoys his company.
> 
> Here's an Until Dawn let's play:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcSEHdKd1Uo
> 
> Here's the Twitter poll:  
> https://twitter.com/abarcelos_/status/786284473142743041
> 
> Just to clarify, Cards Against Humanity would be: Kuroo, Bokuto, Oikawa, Hinata, Tanaka and 2 special guests.  
> Gamercast Live would be: Kenma, Hinata, Lev, and 1 special guest.
> 
> If you can, please help me out with a commission!:  
> http://royal-society-of-pandas.tumblr.com/post/149341493437/royal-society-of-pandas-commissions-are-open-hey


	11. Keep On Falling For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was only when they were seated at the restaurant and waiting for their food that Kenma brings up what the two boys were saying. He pondered not even saying anything, but Kuroo deserved to know.
> 
> “I know, I could hear them.” Was Kuroo’s response.
> 
> “Then why didn’t you say anything?”
> 
> “Because, Kenma dear, I’m a kind and forgiving human being.” Kenma blushed at the nickname and hid behind his hair. Kuroo just kept talking, something for which Kenma was glad. “Besides, they weren’t worth my time so I didn’t let it get to me.”
> 
> “I guess not. Don’t know how you do it, though.”
> 
> “It’s cause I’m dead inside.” Kuroo jokes. They stay silent for a few moments, just watching the movement in the restaurant. “Thank for defending my honour, by the way. You didn’t have to.”
> 
> “’Defending your honour’? Seriously?”
> 
> “You’re my knight in shining armour now, get with the program.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY FIRST OF CHRISTMAS!! 
> 
> Also thank you guys so much for 1k kudos and 10k hits <33 Extra long chapter just for you. Yes you. Just you.

_YouCon Australia is streaming live on Twitch:_

** Youtube Japan 1 Cards Against Humanity Panel (English) – Plaza Ballroom **

_57,720 viewers_

“So, Cards Against Humanity” Oikawa spoke into the microphone. “With eight people. This is going to go great.” He was sitting at the far left of the table, the camera zooming in on him, Kuroo and Hinata.

“All the panellists have a blank white card in front of them, you can fill it in with whatever fucked up shit your boring little brains can come up with and we’ll shuffle it in with the other cards later.” Oikawa continued, standing up and looking over to the other end of the table. “Is there an extra pile of cards somewhere or did I mess up?”

“I think you messed up” Kuroo said. “It’s okay, go get it and I’ll vamp for you. Hello Brisbane!”

The audience cheered, and some people threw their hands up, mildly blocking the camera. “And welcome to the Cards Against Humanity panel for YouCon 2015! Brought to you by I don’t know who the fuck is sponsoring us, Oikawa dealt with that. But, yeah this is the panel where a bunch of Japanese twenty-somethings will say a lot of fucked up shit, so brace yourselves.

“People up here at the table with me, how you guys doing? Hinata, you giant bottle of sunshine you, are you well?”

“I’m great!” Hinata yelled. “The weather here is awesome, it was so hot back in Japan, but now it’s nice and chilly.”

“That’s awesome dude. How about you, sexy stuff, how’s it going bro?” Kuroo asked Bokuto.

“I’m good, thank you” He whispered into the mic and went back to writing on his blank card.

“Yachi, my girl, how are you?”

“What?” Yachi asked, not having been paying attention to what Kuroo was doing, focusing only on the card in front of her and causing the audience to laugh.

“Thank you. Thank you very much. Kags, how are you on this lovely day, sir?”

“Oh, good, yeah, good I-“

“Yeah, now shut up, it’s Tanaka’s turn. Tanaka how are you do-“

“I’m fucking awesome!” Tanaka yelled, causing the crowd to cheer louder.

“Oh, wow, Tanaka Ryuunosuke everyone. Aggressive, I’m a little aroused. Now.” Kuroo paused for a second and cleared his throat. The camera finally moved to reveal the last person at the table. “Hey, Noya!”

“Hey Kuroo!” Nishinoya said. Everyone in the audience cheered louder than they had before. Understandable, since Nishinoya had one of the most popular pranks channels in the world. Noya stood up on top of the table, prompting the crowd to cheer some more.

“Did you just raid this panel?” Tanaka asked as his friend climbed off of the table.

“I did!”

“This is uh… this is the Yuu Nishinoya panel featuring Cards Against Humanity and a bunch of other assholes.” Kuroo said jokingly. “Alright, Oikawa’s back. Oikawa, how are you?”

“Getting prettier every day. We both need to write our cards, someone else vamp while we do this.”

“Alright” Bokuto said, standing up. “This crowd is fucking enormous and good looking” The audience cheered and clapped, while Bokuto gave them thumbs up. “There are so many people here, like, enough people that if you all jumped at the same time it would register on the Richer Scale. Don’t do that though. Hey, shout out to the people all the way in the back! Not you fuckers in the middle, I’m talking about the guys, like, becoming one with the wall because they are so far back.”

“Where’s the girl holding up the unicorn plushie? Yeah, I see you, unicorn! Holding that big ass unicorn!” Hinata yelled.

“Is this panel just going to be us shouting out to people in the audience?” Kageyama asked.

“Oh, that’d be great!” Yachi said. “Shout out to the girl with black hair and the glasses, you look great!”

“That’s your girlfriend, Yachi-san.”

“Yeah, and she looks great!”

“Hey, what’s up everyone named James?” Nishinoya said jokingly, and a good part of the audience cheered. “Quit lying, Steve, sit the fuck down.”

At some point during the shout-outs, Kuroo had run to the audience and was now coming back to his seat. He leaned into the microphone and said, “I had no idea what I was gonna write so I asked Kenma to do it for me. So when my card comes up, you’ll all see the truth that Kenma Kozume is a sick fuck.”

“Alright, shut your face holes, I’m going first.” Oikawa said. “The first card is: ‘What is there a ton of in heaven?’” He read and put the card down to look at the other people at the table. “That’s ‘What is there a ton of in heaven?’, do your worst.”

All the panellists started passing down their white cards, Oikawa shuffling them as they arrived. “Alright, I put this first one aside ‘cause it’s Ryuu-chan’s, just so I know he won’t get it.”

“Why do you guys always do this to me when we play Card Against Humanity?!” Tanaka complained.

“Because it’s _funny_ Tanaka!” Kuroo said, slaming both hands on the table. “If we didn’t, it’d be like playing werewolves and _not_ killing Oikawa in the first round!”

“You guys are dicks, but yes, it is funny.” Oikawa looked at the card on his hand and read it out loud. “’What is there a ton of in heaven? Tanaka says ‘Hot Pockets’. See, you’d lose either way, ‘cause this is my definition of hell.

“What is there a ton of in heaven? ‘Some kind of bird-man’, Jesus on a boat, that’s a good one. Uh, what is there a ton of in heaven? Why, ‘the token minority’ of course. That’s—that’s too real. In heaven there’s also a lot of ‘winking at old people’, yikes. What is there a ton of in heaven? Demonic possession. Irony. But do you wanna know what there’s a ton of in heaven? Elderly Japanese men.”

Oikawa lowered his head as the whole room burst out laughing. “The worst part” – He said – “The worst part is that all I can think of is my granddad looking down at me from heaven saying something like-“He then said something in Japanese, which went over most of the audience and the chat’s heads, but caused everyone at the table to cry with laughter. Yachi went under the table, Kuroo literally fell off his chair and Nishinoya choked on his water so badly, he was coughing for about five minutes afterwards.

“Anyway.” Oikawa said and picked up the last white card. “The thing that there’s the most of in heaven… is ‘praying the gay away’. Okay, that one’s funny but, solely for the imagery of my granddad judging me, I’m gonna go with elderly Japanese men. Which one of you assholes did this?”

Kuroo threw his arms up and the crowd cheered. He, more aggressively than necessary, kissed Oikawa in the cheek and picked up the black card.

“I thought ‘some kind of bird-man’ was funnier, just- just so you know.” Bokuto murmured into the microphone.

“It was a close second.”

“Close seconds don’t give me the fucking points, Oikawa.”

“Stop being a little bitch, Kou-chan.”

“Okay!” Kuroo intervened. He dramatically took a black card from the pile and held it up as he read it. “’Everyone down on the ground! We don’t wanna hurt anyone, we’re just here for blank’. That, ladies, gentlemen and others is your phrase, so complete it. One more time, the phrase is: ‘Everyone, down on the ground! We don’t wanna hurt anyone, we’re just here for blank’”

People started passing down their cards, Kuroo thanking them all the way through. After all the cards were in, he shuffled them and began reading.

“Alright guys. We don’t wanna hurt anyone, we’re just here for ‘what Jesus would do’. Which is rob a bank, that’s what Jesus would do here. We don’t wanna hurt anyone, we’re just here for ‘Bokuto’s gooch’ holy shit.”

“Wow, I can’t believe that’s a card in the actual deck!” Tanaka said sarcastically.

“It is a wonder of the world, honestly.” Oikawa said.

“Bokuto, show us your gooch!” Yelled Nishinoya, leaning over the table as though expecting to actually see Bokuto Koutarou bent over and showing everyone the area between his testicles and anus.

“Later” He said, laughing.

“I love you guys, oh my god.” Kuroo said. “Okay, we don’t wanna hurt anyone, we’re just here for ‘gladiatorial combat’! And we don’t wanna hurt anyone, we’re just here for ‘the violation of our basic human rights’—stop being too real! We’re also here for ‘a lifetime of sadness’. And finally: we’re not here to hurt anyone, we’re just here for ‘beating little kids at Pokémon until they start crying like bitches’.

“As much as I want to pick that one, and I really do want to pick that one, I have to go with Bokuto’s gooch. Who done did it?”

Yachi slowly raised her hand and motioned for Kuroo to give her the card. “Never knew you had it in you, Yachi.” He chuckled. “And who actually wrote it?”

“I did, and I’m proud of it!” Nishinoya exclaimed.

“Niiiice. Can’t believe you made me turn down beating little kids at Pokémon, it was the one Kenma wrote for me, the twisted bastard.” Kuroo said.

“Kenma-chan doesn’t fuck around, he’s there to win!” Oikawa winked at Kenma’s general direction and put up his signature peace sign, just to annoy the kid further.

“Here we go!” Hinata said cheerfully. “Life for Native Americans was forever changed when the white man introduced them to blank.”

 

 

_Welcome to the chatroom!_

**Veraby1:** im criy n g

 **frantAC:** Kenma is SAVAGE

 **Purple2Cheese:** it’s super laggy for me :c

 **Irlweissschnee:** I wanna know what oikawa said in the beginning thereeee

 **Irlweissschnee:** anyone know japanese to help a girl out?

 **giovannihol:** BEST PANNEL SO FAR HOLYYYY SHIT

 **mick29:** their english is soo good :O

 **TtTadashi:** can’t believe yachi went for bokutos gooch amazing

 **Chisato:** @Irlweissschnee welp, he said that he imagined his grandfather watching him from heaven saying ‘tooru, you piece of shit, take that cock out of your mouth’

 **Chisato:** and now you know why everyone fell over laughing

 **Irlweissschnee:** ARE YOU F U C K I G N KIDDING ME

 **frostythesnowqueer:** wait wat

 **junh:** HOLY SHITTT

 **imabirb:** OIKAWA MY DUDE FIND YOUR CHILL

 **mick29:** this is great omg

 

* * *

 

 

There was something inspiring about a bunch of youtubers sitting down on a hotel lounge and editing. It made you want to edit as well, which was impressive since editing is the most boring part of being a youtuber. Most of the people in that lounge were editing some sort of daily vlogs that they did while in Australia, but Kenma didn't do vlogs so he was simply editing the Life is Strange let's play he recorded before leaving Japan. Koutarou and Tooru were both editing the vlogs from the airport, and Shouyou the one from the day they arrived. It involved Tobio tripping and cracking his phone screen within two minutes of arriving in Australia, 5 different Starbucks, complaining at what Australians called “sushi”, and Koutarou and Yuu being stopped every 10 meters by a fan (Bokuto won the “who gets recognized first” contest though, when a teenager who was reading by the river asked for a photo with him 12 minutes after them getting out of the airport). Keiji was there too, but he didn't have any videos to edit and so was merely playing with his boyfriend’s hair.

Editing, Kenma found out, was just about the only thing in the world that could shut Koutarou up for more than five minutes. He had become so used to people yelling and dropping stuff and just the general cacophony of sounds that came with travelling with 10+ people, the silence was nice for a change.

Too bad it was cut short by Kuroo throwing his door open and screaming into the hall.

“Bokuto!” He marched towards the group, everyone removing their headphones and pausing to look at him. Koutarou looked like he was just caught eating the last piece of pie in the fridge. “When I gave you a card to my room it wasn't for you to eat all of my pringles!”

“Kuroo, I've been thinking.” Koutarou rested his chin on his hand, making it look as though he had been in deep thought before Kuroo interrupted, instead of having been editing a clip of him and Hinata trying to make a tower out of leftover McDonald’s chips.

“I don't care what you've been thinking about, just buy me more pringles!”

“How do we have so many subscribers and followers if we're part of such a specific part of YouTube?”

Kuroo paused. His face scrunching up in confusion instead of the anger it was showing just a few seconds prior. “... What?”

“Our subscribers, where do they come from? They all seem to be foreigners. Shouldn't there be more Japanese people in our fanbase?”

“Yeah, but we subtitle all of our videos in English.”

“No, okay, yeah, I know. But, like, we're part of a really niche portion of YouTube that just shouldn't be as big as it seems to be. We shouldn't be as big as the western youtubers, but we have the same amount of subscribers as like, Tyler Oakley and Danisnotonfire or whatever. And we know all these other youtubers from Japan in the same situation.”

“I don't –”

“And how come all of us are so gay and open about it in the judgemental Japanese society? It doesn’t make a lick of sense!”

“I –”

“Also, have you noticed that we all played volleyball at some point in our lives? How is this all connected?”

“I'm… gonna go lie down for a bit.”

Kuroo slowly made his way back into his room, all while the others looked expectantly between him and Koutarou. The latter remained staring into the distance trying to look like he was attempting to solve the mysteries of the universe. As soon as Kuroo closed the door, all eyes turned to Koutarou.

“And thus Bokuto Koutarou singlehandedly avoids pringles accusations for the second day in a row. Hurrah.”

Tooru sighed dramatically (in true Oikawa Tooru fashion) and put his headphones back on. “You’re an asshole.”

And, with that, everyone went back to what they were previously doing. Everyone except Kenma. For some reason, seeing Kuroo made him completely lose concentration in what he was doing. He had never before thought he would trade Life Is Strange for Human Interaction™, yet before he knew it, Kenma was facing the door to Room 1407 and knocking.

Kenma needed to talk to Kuroo, because he hadn’t done it all day and it was bugging him. He had to talk to Kuroo because he honest-to-God missed him. No, it was more than that. After seeing Kuroo and realising that they hadn’t spoken yet, it kind of… hurt Kenma. Physically. In the general chest area.

“Oh, what’s up.” Kuroo greeted after he opened the door. “Didn’t see you at breakfast today.”

He steped aside, allowing Kenma to go in. Kenma immediately went over to sit on the bed, getting one of the pillows to hug tightly against his chest. Kuroo lay down and got a pillow for himself to rest his head on.

“I overslept.” Kenma said. “Happens to the best of us.”

“Damn, that sucks. Are you hungry?”

“I had some snacks, I'm good.”

“I'd offer you some pringles but we all know that I can't now.”

“You know he was just messing with you, right?”

“Yeah, I know, but I like banter with Bokuto so I usually let him win. Honestly, he is the sorest loser ever. And besides, I can live without pringles, never can fit my hand inside the fucking can anyway.”

“Really? Mine fit just fine.”

“That’s ‘cause you have, like, baby hands. C’mere let me see” Kuroo took Kenma’s right hand and compared it with his own. Kenma’s already tinier than average hands looked even smaller when put against Kuroo’s. It was no surprise really, given the 20cm difference in their height, but he didn’t mind – Kenma was the perfect size to fit right under Kuroo’s chin if they hugged. He spent a lot of time think about that one.

Kuroo then fit his finger in between Kenma’s, interlacing them. He did it quietly and slowly, as though he was carefully asking for his permission. Kenma squeezed Kuroo’s hand, trying to tell him that it was okay, and Kuroo squeezed back.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, hey, sweet thing. Sign it ‘For The Love of My Life AKA Kuroo Tetsurou’ and let’s go eat lunch.” Kuroo was leaning on Kenma’s shoulder, handing him a picture of a dog Kenma had never seen before.

“I’m sorry, but my signings finished at 13:30, it’s currently 13:35 therefore you missed it.” Kenma said teasingly, gathering his stuff that was scattered on top of his signings table. “Also, whose dog is this?”

“No idea, it was inside my nightstand’s drawer. C’mon Kenma, I’ve never asked anything of you.”

“You literally ask me for stuff every day.”

“True, but I’ve never asked for an autograph! ‘For The Love of My Life AKA Kuroo Tetsurou Xx Kenma’ then draw a heart.”

Kenma took the photo, quickly singed it and handed it back to Kuroo. It read: ‘For Kuro, Xx Kenma’. Kuroo sighed and removed his arm from Kenma’s shoulder. “You are the meanest person I know.”

“I wrote the Xx, didn’t I?”

“’PS: The dog is cuter than you’, see, that’s just rude.” Kuroo tried his best to look hurt, but he was clearly holding back a grin. Kenma smiled a little at that. “Let’s go eat, you meanie, I was invited for an improv panel at 17:00”

“You don’t know how to do improv, Kuro.”

“I’ll wing it! But seriously, though, I wanna go to this Indian place and if we don’t leave in the next ten minutes I’m not making it.”

“The panel is still three hours away.”

“Don’t question my methods.”

Kuroo took Kenma’s hand without even thinking about it, and began pulling his friend towards the entrance. They were stopped, however, just outside the building by a group of girls who wanted to take a picture with Kuroo. Kenma distanced himself a bit to give the girls some more privacy as they talked to Kuroo.

Behind him, a man scoffed, and Kenma turned to look at him. He was tall and lanky, looked like he was probably sixteen or younger, and was turning to his friend. When the boy spoke, he had a heavy bogan accent. “Why do all the girls obsess over that Japanese guy? The one covered in tattoos.”

Kenma didn’t like where this was going.

“It’s probably ‘cause of the accent and ‘cause he’s tall.” The friend said.

“I’ve seen his videos, the guy’s an idiot! I guess dumb bitches like dumb assholes.”

Before he could stop himself, Kenma faced the teenagers. “Have you ever actually watched any of Kuroo’s videos?” His voice was angrier than he had expected it to be. Kenma usually didn’t like showing any sort of discomfort through his voice, but, for some reason, he just couldn’t help but be _pissed._

 _It’s because he’s your friend and you care about him._ Kenma told himself. _You’re also hopelessly in love with him, so, you know… there’s that._

Kenma never imagined he’d tell a thought up manifestation of his conscience to fuck off, yet there he was.

“Probably not. If you did, you’d know that he is a chemical engineer, or that he sometimes shows up on Oikawa Tooru’s videos and they just discuss astrophysics theories. Even if he didn’t know all that stuff, he’s still one of the kindest people I know. And he’d never call a guy he’s never met an asshole or any woman a dumb bitch, so, the way I see it, Kuro’s already leagues better than you.”

The guys just stared at Kenma’s expressionless face trying to find a way to respond to that. Kenma felt quite proud of how he managed to intimidate them with all of his 170 cm of height and impressive 60 kg of mass. There was something very rewarding about making someone shut up with just the venom in your voice. No one messes with Kenma’s crush.

Kenma’s friend.

Fuck.

“Hey, sorry dude, one of the girls were having a slight mental breakdown and I had to try and calm her down. They were really nice, actually.” Kuroo was suddenly by his side and Kenma felt a little jealous at how easily he made the two guys uncomfortable.

It sure is easy to make fun of someone from afar. But when that someone is 190 cm tall, with piercings all over his face, tattoos covering both arms, fairly big biceps and only a couple meters away from you, most people reconsider making fun of them.

“Oh, are you guys fans? Sorry for interrupting, I can wait over there if you want.” Kuroo said with a gentle voice, although he had that creepy grin of his plastered on his face.

“No, no, you can, uh, you two can go.” The friend stuttered while the first guy violently shook his head.

“Alrighty then, let’s go or I won’t make it to my panel!”

“You have three hours left.” Kenma sighed.

“And you’re questioning my methods again.”

It was only when they were seated at the restaurant and waiting for their food that Kenma brings up what the two boys were saying. He pondered not even saying anything, but Kuroo deserved to know.

“I know, I could hear them.” Was Kuroo’s response.

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because, Kenma dear, I’m a kind and forgiving human being.” Kenma blushed at the nickname and hid behind his hair. Kuroo just kept talking, something for which Kenma was glad. “Besides, they weren’t worth my time so I didn’t let it get to me.”

“I guess not. Don’t know how you do it, though.”

“It’s cause I’m dead inside.” Kuroo jokes. They stay silent for a few moments, just watching the movement in the restaurant. “Thank for defending my honour, by the way. You didn’t have to.”

“’Defending your honour’? Seriously?”

“You’re my knight in shining armour now, get with the program.”

Kenma turned his head to the side and smiled into his hand. He didn’t think he’d be able to live up to the title, but he also didn’t mind trying.

 

* * *

 

 

The best part of going to cons, in Oikawa Tooru’s humble opinion, was being in a room full of people who recognised and appreciated his work. It was one thing to get five hundred thousands views on YouTube, but it was another to put three thousands of those in a room to watch you talk for an hour. It gave people a perspective of just how many lives they effect on a daily basis. Oikawa loved it.

Oikawa also loved the fact that a dozen of those three thousands of those five hundred thousands of people knew him enough to gift him tequila. He truly loved his fans.

The Beauty Guru Panel had him sat at a table with a bunch of people he didn’t deserve to share a table with. The person who organised the panel actually had thought at some point _‘Who should I put up there with Zoella and Sprinkle of Glitter and Jaclyn Hill and all those other important people? Oh, I know! Oikawa Tooru!’._ That person was clearly high. Oikawa knew he was great and all that, but he was not on that level yet.

Throughout the whole panel, Oikawa didn’t get many questions, but he cherished each one he got and answered it the best he could. Everyone told their stories, their mishaps with makeup and fashion, they laughed and cried a little, and in the end, everyone had a pretty good time.

Yachi Hitoka was now almost done telling a story about how she accidently died her girlfriend’s hair pink, which was getting a lot of laughs from everyone. “—and no matter how much we wash it, the pink water just doesn’t stop coming out, and our bathroom’s floor tiles are white, so now everything is stained pink and awful, like Hello Kitty just vomited all over the room. I felt so bad, I apologised to her for months after it happened!”

Oikawa chuckled and rested his head on his hand. The host of the panel said that they only had time for one more question, and Oikawa looked over at the microphone the audience used for asking questions. He was more than a little shocked to see Iwaizumi standing there, ready to ask a question.

“Hey guys.” Iwaizumi greeted. “I’m gonna be honest with you here, I don’t watch a lot of beauty vlogs – Only Oikawa’s, actually. But I know the impact all of you make on so many people around the world, and seeing the boy I grew up with up there with you, the boy who helped me catch bugs and geeked out about aliens so much he ended up almost working for NASA, it just makes me really proud.

“When we were eight, I went to Oikawa’s house one day and he was making a bouquet of some flowers his mum had on her garden. He said that he was practising for when we got older and married each other. That was the first time I head-butted him. But Oikawa always said stupid shit like that, so I got used to it after a while. We always did everything together, and everything was done our way. Falling in love with you was just the natural thing to do; it didn’t come as a surprise. I’ve been falling in love with you little by little ever since we were five. I still am, and I don’t want to stop.

“So I guess my question is for Oikawa.”

Halfway through the speech tears started forming in his eyes. Realisation hit him like a grand piano to the head when Iwaizumi got down on one knee and took a box from inside his pocket. Inside it was a ring, but Oikawa was so far away and crying so much, he wasn’t even sure if it was a ring or just a white blob.

He jumped from his seat and ran across the room towards Iwaizumi, jumping in his arms and burying his head in Iwaizumi’s shoulder. The audience was cheering and clapping, one of the panellists screamed “Kiss!” into the mic and soon the whole room was chanting.

Their lips met, not for long, not enough, but there were too many people watching. They’d leave it for later. For now, Oikawa and Iwaizumi would just cling to each other for dear life.

“I don’t wanna stop falling in love with you either.” Oikawa whispered.

Oikawa Tooru truly loved cons.

 

* * *

 

 

**Oikawa Tooru posted a new picture on Instagram**

_We’ll keep on falling in love with each other_ _♡♡♡♡♡_

❤ hoothoot-, theoriginallolcat and **21.047 others**

-

_View all 260 comments_

**GemMr** congrats boys!! that’s one big and beautiful ring  btw

 **kkur—mi** they look so happy (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The teenager Bokuto met by the river is my friend Frost who helped me by telling me everything about Brisbane. They are a nerd and like flirting with potted plants. Follow their gay ass over at jsuislfrost.tumblr.com
> 
> (you can also follow my bi ass at royal-society-of-pandas.tumblr.com)
> 
> Cards Against Humanity:  
> https://cardsagainsthumanity.com/  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUeX_osn3oc
> 
> no poll cause I don't wanna give away plot :3c


	12. Lua

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The restaurant was pretty amazing, much like Kenma predicted. The food was great so far and the ambient was really pretty. But there was one thing just bugging him ever since Kuroo suggested they’d go out to eat something.
> 
> “I’m not a cheap date.” Those were his exact words. Date. Did that mean that they were really out on a date? Or was Kenma reading too much into it? He tended to read too much into situations, so that was probably it.
> 
> But what if it wasn’t? What if he was really on a date with Kuroo Fucking Tetsurou?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I know we're talking about Haikyuu here, but viktuuri was confirmed and I'm virtually desceased.
> 
> Now, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KUROO! Thank god this is the chapter I'm posting today, cause it's the best one for a birthday gift. Lots of love here. <3

** imabirdmf ** _uploaded a new video titled:_

**YOUCON VLOG | DAY 3**

_16 hours ago                           882,739 views_

 

“HEY HEY HEY BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!” Bokuto yelled at the camera. The video quality wasn’t the best and it was very shaky, so he was probably using an iPhone to record it. “MY NAME IS BOKUTO AND TODAAAY-“

“Koutarou, if you don’t stop yelling right now I will kick you in the face and break up with you.” The camera focused on Akaashi, who was lying face down in bed next to Bokuto.

“Today is the last day of YouCon!” Bokuto said at a normal volume. An upbeat song started playing along with the opening animation, followed by a montage of Bokuto and Akaashi getting ready for the day and going down for breakfast.  

The music stopped and the video cut to a shot of Oikawa sitting with his legs thrown over Iwaizumi’s lap. “And here we have the intriguing newly engaged couple.” Bokuto said in his best David Attenborough impression. “Ever since the engagement, these two specimens can’t seem to stop touching each other and being gross every fucking minute of the day. But we will accompany them with a hose to see where it goes.”

“Fuck off, Bokuto.” Oikawa poked his tongue at the camera while Iwaizumi blushed and looked away. “We’re very happy and it’s not like it’s affecting you.”

“Actually, Akaashi and I are staying in the room next to yours and we had a hard time sleeping last night. Kuroo was right, Oikawa, you really never shut up, do you?”

Iwaizumi’s blush darkened and he subconsciously tightened his grip on Oikawa’s hip. The latter merely smirked and showed off the ring on his finger. “Your jealousy is showing, Kou-chan~”

“The Oikawa specimen loves showing off his ring and seems awfully confident despite the fact that it’s wearing a skirt that doesn’t match its shirt.”

“EAT MY ASS!”

The video then cut to a shot of an impressive stack of pancakes, with an unhealthy amount of chocolate, whipped cream and strawberries. “That’s Akaashi’s breakfast.” Bokuto said. He then showed his plate, which had a big bacon and egg roll. “And this is mine, cause I don’t want cavities.”

“I’ve never had cavities, just so you know.” Akaashi stabbed the fork in the top pancake and gave the camera an angry look.

“Kinda hard to believe with the amount of sugar you eat. You literally just shoved an entire pancake down your face hole.”

“I also eat vegetables, unlike _some people._ ”

“I eat vegetables, okay? But I mostly outsource it.”

“You… Outsource… Vegetables?”

“Yes. The cow eats the vegetables, I eat the cow. There, I eat vegetables.”

“I’m dating a five year old.”

Another montage began. Cars passing by quickly as they moved down busy streets, the group entering the con hall, signings and taking pictures with fans, Kuroo dancing in the most embarrassing way possible in front of hundreds of people, and a cute shot of Akaashi taking Bokuto’s hand in his.

“We uh – we’re on our way to our last panel here.” Bokuto was trying to navigate the hall without bumping into anyone, but with little success. “Well, I say ‘panel’, it’s really just Akaashi’s concert on the centre stage. Then we’ll be off to the party! I’ll try to record the most I can.”

Bokuto didn’t record the whole concert, but even through the small snippets that he did record, it was quiet obvious that throughout all the love songs Akaashi was looking a lot more towards the camera – or the person holding it.

 

 **ginny blackbird**                                                 _10 hours ago_

bokuto’s vlogs are always the sweetest !!!

_40 likes_

 

 **Turtle**                                                                 _28 minutes ago_

Alright…. Wait….. anyone else noticed how everyone showed up on the part of the party except…. Kuroo and Kenma???

_106 likes_

View all 12 replies ▽

>                 **Rose Quartz**                                       _5 minutes ago_
> 
>                 holy shit youre right
> 
>                
> 
> **Katisjudgingyou** _Just now_
> 
>                 **+imabirdmf** BOKUTO I NEED ANSWERS
> 
>  

* * *

 

 

“Keiji!” Bokuto yelled from the bathroom. “Have you seen my hairspray?”

Rolling his sleeves the rest of the way up to where he liked them, Akaashi walked over to the bathroom, where his boyfriend looked frantically for the can of hairspray. The can which Bokuto was literally holding in his own hands.

“Koutarou, you’re holding it.” Akaashi deadpanned.

“What? Oh, no, this one’s empty. I need the other one!”

“The other one? You only brought one, remember?”

“I did?” Bokuto stared off into space for a few seconds, with a blank expression on his face. “Holy shit, I did.”

Akaashi huffed out a laugh and went up to his suitcase. “I brought a boater hat. You can use that as an excuse for having your hair down and we’ll buy another can of hairspray tomorrow.”

“Is that the black hat that’s flat on top?” Akaashi nodded. “Sweet! I love that one!”

He placed the hat softly on Bokuto’s head and fixed the hair underneath so it didn’t look weird, but Bokuto took his hand before Akaashi was done. He twirled Akaashi around, hugging him from behind and burying his face on Akaashi’s neck.

“Are you wearing my cologne?” Akaashi asked.

“You look amazing.” Bokuto murmured against his skin, ignoring the question completely.

“And you’re looking very handsome yourself.” Akaashi smiled, turning his head slightly so that they were facing each other. He pressed his lips against Bokuto’s gently, turning around and wrapping his arms around Bokuto’s neck.

They stayed like that for a while, kissing lazily and just enjoying being wrapped in each other’s arms. Akaashi felt safe, like nothing in the world could harm him as long as Koutarou was there with him. It was a nice thought; it made him feel all warm inside.

The moment was interrupted by someone knocking abruptly on the door.

“Hey, dipshits!” Oikawa yelled from the other side. “Stop sucking each other’s dicks and let’s go! Our uber is here and we _will_ leave you behind if you don’t hurry up.”

“Yeah, we’ll be out in a minute!” Bokuto yelled back. Akaashi rested his head on Bokuto’s shoulder and closed his eyes, smiling. “Let’s go, love, before Oikawa rips our heads off.”

“Alright, I guess.”

Grabbing Bokuto’s hand and his coat, Akaashi unlocked the door. He didn’t know why he bothered with the coat – he was still warm.

 

* * *

 

 

The party was absolutely crazy. For starters, the venue was huge – high ceiling, giant windows covering the walls, lights splashing hues of pink and blue over every surface and a big bar packed with people. The bar wasn’t the only place filled with people. It looked like everyone who was at the con had also been jammed into the venue, even though the party was exclusive for the guests and exhibitors. People were dancing and drinking like they’d just got the news that they would die tomorrow, there were shirts soaked with spilled vodka and trousers soaked with spilled beer. Hearts were beating in sync with the loud music, bodies were bumping into each other and Oikawa…

Oikawa was _really_ drunk.

He honestly lost count after the fifth margarita. He took some shots too, didn’t he? Of course, he always took at least a few. Oikawa Tooru was the _king_ of shots, his party trick was literally drinking shots; body shots, blow job shots, disgusting mama birds, three shots at the same time, and never using a chaser even with the most disgusting alcohol available. Oikawa could use another shot.

God, Iwaizumi was gonna kill him. Where even was his fiance?

_Heh, we’re  engaged. Oikawa Tooru is engaged to Iwaizumi Hajime. I love the sound of that._

Some Australian weirdo bought him a shot of whiskey, lord knows why. Oikawa drank it, of course, but he still needed to find his Iwa-chan. He needed to become Sherlock Holmes and solve this mystery, or whatever. His mind wasn’t the clearest at that given moment.

He ran into Bokuto and Akaashi sucking face (literally _ran into_ them and almost knocked the three of them over.) “Have you seen Iwa-chan?” He asked.

“No.” They answered. Well, there were some other words there too, but Oikawa couldn’t make them out.

There were so many people, he would never find shorty short Iwa-chan there. Iwa-chan wasn’t that short, though, was he? Oikawa checked everywhere his drunk ass could take him, but still no sign of him. He lost his fiance, he would die alone and miserable and never see Iwaizumi ever again and there was a hand on his butt.

Hand. On his butt. Not Iwaizumi’s.

_What kind of disrespectable little shit..._

It was the blond weirdo who bought him the shot and he was getting closer. Oikawa tried to send him off with a disgusted “No, thanks.” But the guy didn’t back off, just smiled and said something too quietly for Oikawa to hear over the music.

And then someone was punching the guy. _That_ was Iwaizumi, thankfully.

“Seriously dude, fuck off.” Iwaizumi adverted and pulled Oikawa towards the fountains, where it was significantly emptier and quieter. “What an asshole.”

“He was really weird, yeah.”

They sat on the border of one of the fountains, looking over at the city skyline, the lights, the river; just taking it all in. The string lights hung over them reflected on the water and made everything look a bit fairy tale-y.

“Oikawa, where the fuck were you?” Iwaizumi squeezed Oikawa’s hand and rest his head on his fiance's shoulder. “I looked for you all over the place!”

“Well, I looked for _you_ all over the place.”

Iwaizumi chuckled. “Yeah. I’m so fucking drunk.”

“Me too.”

“You wanna dance like idiots for a while?”

“You mean, doing the Macarena for every song?”

“Yep.”

“I’d be honoured.”

Of course Bokuto recorded the two of them dancing, that was a given. But they were both laughing so hard, Oikawa didn’t really mind.

“That’s love, bitch.” He yelled at the camera.

 

* * *

 

 

“You sure you’re not coming?” Bokuto asked as he, Akaashi, Oikawa and Iwaizumi entered the lift, on their way to the party.

“Yeah, I’m tired.” Kuroo replied. “I’m just gonna crash or something.”

“Alright, call us if something happens! We might be drunk off our asses, though, just- just remember that.”

The door to the lift closed, and Kuroo gave it a few seconds before turning back towards the rooms. But he didn’t go towards room 1407. Instead, he knocked on 1403.

“Come in.” Came Kenma’s muffled voice.

Kuroo walked over to flop himself on the bed, where Kenma played on his handheld. “You just let me in like that? I could be a murderer. You’d be dead now.”

“I’m not dead, therefore you’re not a murderer.”

“Guess you’re right. But I’m really hungry and I thought we could go to that steakhouse you saw. I know you wanna go there and we’re both doing jack and shit right now so… Wanna go?”

“Don't you wanna go to the party though?”

“Nah, what am I missing? Watching Oikawa do three shots of tequila at the same time? I just call that Friday evening.”

“I'm starting to think he has a… problem with tequila”

“He fucking named his dog Tequila, you're _starting_ to think he has a problem?”

Kenma chuckled and stared at Kuroo for a moment, before closing his 3DS and throwing his head back. “I really did want to go to that steakhouse.”

“I know.” Kuroo grinned.

“But I also know that you wanted to attend the party. So… tell me the truth, why are you here.”

“It’s one of life’s great mysteries isn’t it? Why are we here?” Kuroo quoted and Kenma threw a pillow at his face. Kuroo let out another chuckle and hugged the pillow that was thrown at him. He bit his lip before continuing. “Seemed lonely, being here on your own. Couldn’t leave you here.”

“I’m used to it. I don’t really go to parties.” Kenma shrugged.

“Yeah, I know, but… It just felt wrong. So I thought I’d take you out for a bite, so we could be lonely together which equals to not being lonely! C’mon, my treat.” Kuroo poked Kenma’s arm in a friendly manner and smiled at him.

“That place is pretty expensive, though.”

“It’s okay dude, really. I’m not a cheap date.”

Kenma looked down at his hands and fidgeted with his fingers. “Alright.” He decided. “But I’ll need a moment to change. I’m not going there in my PJs.”

Kuroo cheered and hopped off of the bed. He went over to his room – to give Kenma his privacy and because he also needed to change – and sent Bokuto a text. He felt bad for lying but if he didn’t Bokuto would have given up on going to the party. He just hoped Kenma caught the hint; it took him days to figure out how he was going to do it.

 

* * *

 

 

To: Brokuto  (*◎ｖ◎*)

19:35       hey I asked kenma out on a date

                kinda

                we’re going rn

 

From: Brokuto  (*◎ｖ◎*)

20:48     OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH TELL ME EVERYTHING LATER BRO

 

* * *

 

 

The restaurant was pretty amazing, much like Kenma predicted. The food was great so far and the ambient was really pretty. But there was one thing just bugging him ever since Kuroo suggested they’d go out to eat something.

 _“I’m not a cheap date.”_ Those were his exact words. Date. Did that mean that they were really out on a date? Or was Kenma reading too much into it? He tended to read too much into situations, so that was probably it.

But what if it wasn’t? What if he was really on a date with Kuroo Fucking Tetsurou?

“– So when I got back, the apartment smelled like someone had just burned a Port-a-Potty, it was awful!” Kuroo was telling him a story from when he was in university. Kenma loved Kuroo’s stories, they were always pretty funny. He also loved Kuroo’s voice but that wasn’t the point. “I told Bokuto that the crystals were flammable, but I understand, really. My mum always told me to not use her cleaning supplies as science experiments, and I always did anyway.”

“You’ve never told me about them.” Kenma said before he could stop himself.

“Who?” Kuroo asked, fork halfway towards his mouth.

“Your family. You mention them a lot, but you never talk about them.”

Kuroo lowered the fork and smiled to the plate of ribs in front of him. “They’re nice. I mean, my dad pulled the ol’ ‘out for cigarettes and never came back’ on us when I was ten so _he’s_ not nice, but... It was tough, ya know. Mum was pregnant with the twins and I already had three siblings, and suddenly a good part of our income was gone.

“She was working three jobs to try and feed everyone. I basically had to raise all my siblings from then on, being the oldest and all that. The twins call me ‘dad’ sometimes, it’s weird but I understand why they do it. Mum cried when I got the full scholarship from the University of Tokyo, said it would really turn things around for us. It did, just not in the way we thought it would. I’m paying for Tsubaki’s university and I still visit when I can.”

“Every Wednesday?” Kenma asked, remembering how on Wednesday evenings Kuroo usually says he’s going to visit his family. Kenma never understood why he visited so often, but now he understood.

“Yep. Here –” Kuroo showed Kenma a picture on his phone of a girl, roughly twenty years old, with long messy dyed pink hair and sharp golden eyes. She looked like a bubble-gum girl version of Kuroo. Kenma then remembered that it was because she was also a Kuroo. “This is Tsubaki! She studies music over in Saitama, violin! She’s really good, always left the radio on the classical music station when we were kids.”

“She looks like you.” Kenma smiled. Kuroo’s eyes were shining, he looked at her like she was one of the most important people in the universe.

“Really? You think I’d suit pink hair?”

“You’d be the scariest care bear in the world.”

Kuroo laughed and showed him another picture. It was of another girl, slightly younger then Tsubaki, maybe in her late teens. She didn’t look like Kuroo at all. Her pixie cut black hair was neat and her eyes were of nice shade of brown, like milk chocolate.

“Tamiko. Wants to be a chemical engineer and I take full responsibility.” Kenma chuckled. Kuroo’s smile only grew wider. “When I was in uni I had to bring her a copy of all of my boring reads, she loved them. Always asked me to teach her how to do stuff. ‘Nii-chan, mum needs soap, can you teach me how to make it?’ ‘Nii-chan, how can I make Polyvinyl Alcohol?’ Still no idea why she wanted that and I’m afraid to ask.”

The next picture was of a boy that resembled a lot Tamiko, with the neat black hair and chocolate brown eyes. He looked no older than 15, still with baby fat and skinny arms. “And this is Taichi. He likes to cook and he’s top on all of his classes! He’s so smart, I bet he can get a full scholarship too.”

The last picture was of a woman, roughly 50 years old, hugging two identical preteen boys. Everyone in that picture was so obviously related to Kuroo Tetsurou, Kenma was a little taken aback. The mother was beautiful, her messy hair went up to her shoulders and her glasses framed her face nicely. The boys looked like mini-Tetsurous, they even had a similar crazy bedhead.

“Tomo, Tomohiro and mum. I don’t think the twins ever done something bad like, ever. They just read books all day and help out with the chores. They wouldn’t hurt a bee, too. Tomo stopped speaking when he was five, for some reason. The psychologist’s still trying to figure it out but for now Hiro talks for both of them. But it’s nice when we can talk through sign language, just the two of us. Brings us together, I think.”

“You – You learnt sign language just to talk to your brother?”

“Well, yeah. He’s my little brother, I didn’t even question it.”

“You’re a really good brother, Kuro.”

“I’m not that great… wish I could visit them more. Wish I could have brought them here.”

“No, believe me, you’re an amazing brother. You know everything about them, Kuro. When your mother needed you to basically raise them when you were _ten_ you didn’t even question it. That’s amazing.”

Kuroo huffed out a humourless laugh. “Thanks. Hey, I told you my tragic backstory, so what’s yours? What’s your family like?”

“Uh, not much to say about them. My parents are both doctors and I’m an only child. And it’s not like they’re terrible parents, it’s just that they were never really… there. We call each other sometimes but I haven’t seen them in months.”

“Hey, if you don’t wanna talk about it, it’s okay.”

“Yeah… thanks.”

“Thank you for telling me you wanted to come here! This meat’s awesome!” Kuroo changed the subject. Kenma smiled. There were so many things he was grateful for about Kuroo. He didn’t even mind if it was a date or not, he was just happy to spend time with Kuroo.

 

* * *

 

 

The public transport of Brisbane was messing with Kuroo, he was sure of it. It was the seventh (fucking _seventh_ ) cab that turned the lights off after he waved them. What. The. Hell.

“Can’t we just call an uber like when we came here?” Kenma asked. The night had been great, they talked until the restaurant had to close. The food was great, they shared a dessert and it was overall just an amazing date. He hoped Kenma picked up on the fact that it was a date. Kuroo paid for him, it was clearly a date, right? Right.

But now the cabs were ruining everything.

“No internet. Goddammit!” Eight. Eight cabs.

“We can just walk back, it’s not that far.”

“Kenma, it’s freezing.” It was, in fact. It was so cold, they could see their breaths. Freezing.

Nine cabs.

“I don’t mind… we can just… walk close together? For warmth.” Kenma’s voice got smaller with every word and he looked away.

“Alright, if you don’t mind.” Kuroo smiled gently.

“I don’t.”

“Then we’re off.”

Kuroo doesn’t remember when he grabbed Kenma’s hand, all he knows is that he didn’t want to let go when they reached room 1403. The last time he heard Kenma’s voice that night, was right before the door closed.

“Kuroo, can I… can I ask something?” Kenma said quietly.

“Shoot.”

“Was- Was this a date.”

“Do you want it to be?” Kenma nodded. “Then it was, might I say, an absolutely amazing first date.”

The feeling of Kenma’s lips on his cheek and the thrumming of his heart on his ears made it really hard for Kuroo to sleep that night.

 

* * *

 

 

 **Bokuto Koutarou**    @HOOTHOOT             2h

CHECK OUT MY NEW VIDEO IF YOU WANT TO SEE OIKAWA TAKE THREE SHOTS OF TEQUILA AT THE SAME TIME THEN DANCE THE MACARENA WITH IWAIZUMI!

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1kTuur1c0nf1Rm3D1?mD34d=youtu.be]

 

 **Kuroo <3**  @theoriginallolcat                       1h

 **@kenmak** told ya ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at them cuties.
> 
> huh. No links today. Weird. 
> 
> Oh well, here's my tumblr, please follow so we can scream in unison at the unforgiving void of space.  
> royal-society-of-pandas.tumblr.com


	13. Drowning Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa slammed his glass on the table and Kuroo was afraid it would actually break. “You act like you don’t have feelings for him and that he doesn’t see you as more than a friend, but he was already dumb enough to agree to go on a date with your idiot ass.”
> 
> “What do you mean 'dumb'? Oikawa, you and I were fucking throughout most of high school!”
> 
> “And you’re as fucking emotionally constipated now as you were back then!”
> 
> “Kuroo, you’ve got to admit: If you two already went on a date then you obviously have feelings for him.” Daichi said.
> 
> Kuroo looked down at his glass and closed his eyes. He knew he liked Kenma, anyone could see that, but he also cared a lot about Kenma and how he felt. Kenma was difficult to read and Kuroo just – “I don’t wanna fuck this up.” He sighed. “That’s what I do, I fuck things up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote most of this chapter while listening to Uno the movie on repeat. Also I'm sick and icky and ugh so it's a bit shorter :( . So, this chapter has one of the first scenes I thought of when planning out the fic! I'm happy to finally put it out there!!

_KenmaKGames is streaming live on Twitch:_

** Super Mario Maker Livestream **

_21,080 viewers_

The stream came to life with a fade in at the usual time, Kenma sitting in front of the camera with Pie on his lap. The main menu for Super Mario Maker took up most of the screen and the notifications of donations and new subscribers started coming in.

“Hello, everyone.” Kenma said. “Welcome to the stream. How are you guys doing? Hopefully you’re enjoying your Monday, though when I say that out loud it sounds like an oxymoron. We’ll be playing Super Mario Maker today, a game I did not think I’d be playing.”

Kenma made some adjustments in the audio and the face cam, and took a sip of his tea. “Not that it doesn’t look fun.” He continued. “It’s just that I’d really prefer _not_ play a platfomer if I have the choice. But if I played anything else today I would probably break the controller slash keyboard, so I’m just playing this because I really don’t care.”

The first level was in the classic Super Mario Bros style, made out of dropping platforms that killed Kenma immediately. The bullet bills and fire sticks also weren’t helping at all, and progressing proved to be ma lot more challenging than Kenma had expected. As expected, he remained stone-faced all throughout, despite the fact that he died nineteen times.

“I didn’t care at the beginning and I don’t care now.”

Pie seemed more affectionate than usual, never once leaving Kenma’s lap. She nuzzled against his chest and licked his hand whenever he died in the game.

“This is almost like bullet hell, there is so much shit coming at me right now.” Kenma took another sip of tea when he died. “Hope you guys like the background music in this level cause you’ll be hearing it for a long time. Jesus, I’m so bad at platformers.

“I literally can’t read a thing the chat is saying right now, calm down a bit guys.” He restarted the level and concentrated on a new strategy, since the old one was clearly not working anymore. “’I look stressed’? Uh, yeah, not a good week for me. I’m not going to bother you guys with details, especially since it involves a few other people and you know I don’t like talking about this stuff. Thanks for the concern though.”

Kenma was making some progress, but he was still stuck on that level. A game that shouldn’t have him cursing and setting down the controller had him doing just that after a while. There was also the fact that it looked like he wasn’t getting enough sleep and wasn’t reading as many comments, probably because they all seemed to ask the same question he was ignoring.

“I think that I need to go over it somehow, but how I’m going to get up there I don’t know. ‘Do I care now’? Yeah, a little bit. It’s getting to me. It’s a great game, I’m just _terrible_ at platformers and you all noticed I’m not thinking straight today. Does anyone know what I have to do here?”

 

 

_Welcome to the chatroom!_

**DdBeast**  dude go to sleep srsly

 **yaboiandy** did Kenma change his set up?

 **yaboiandy** looks different

 **Catquxxn** that’s hinata’s setup

 **EnhRyo** so he’s streaming at hinata’s?

 **Cabooses** kuroo hasn’t shown up yet :c :c

 **junh** Kenma u need to rest

 **Purple2Cheese** aight so he said he doesn’t wanna talk about it

 **Purple2Cheese** but Kenma shouldn’t even be streaming cause he looks sick

 **Mj9034** Kenma are u okay?

 

* * *

 

 

“Thanks for looking after them, Mori.” Kenma took Pie from Morisuke’s arms, Kuroo already holding Batnyan in his’ and petting him.

“It was nothing, man.” Morisuke waved his hand dismissively. “If anything, Ruby was happy to  have a couple friends to play with.”

“Still, you didn’t have to. So, thanks Yaku.” Kuroo said.

“You two say ‘thanks’ too much, Jesus tap dancing lord. It’s two A.M, Lev just arrived too, so stop thanking me and get the fuck out!”

“You are so short and yet so full of anger.”

“It’s ‘cause I’m closer to hell. You’re welcome for your cats. Out.”

Kenma offered Morisuke a tiny smile as he turned to leave. “We’re going then. Good night, Mori.”

“Bye, Yaku! Love youuu~”

“Good night, Kenma.” Morisuke said with a grin and Kuroo clutched his heart.

“How dare you! I’m one of the most important people in your life, Yaku, you have to acknowledge me you piece of shit.”

“Kuroo, if you don’t leave now through the door, you’ll leave through the window.”

“Alright, alright, I’m going _. Jeez.”_

Morisuke huffed out a chuckle as Kuroo and Kenma went down the stairs to the lobby. “Good night, you two.” He said just before closing the door.

“ _Thank you._ ” Kuroo exclaimed.

Kenma half-heartedly punched Kuroo’s shoulder, shaking his head. “People are sleeping Kuro.”

Kuroo clicked his tongue. “How dare they sleep when I can’t.”

“That’s not how life works.”

As soon as they got inside their uber, Kuroo let his head drop on Kenma’s shoulder. He would have gotten flustered and pushed Kuroo away in any other situation, but, at that point, Kenma was _so tired,_ he just rested his head on top of Kuroo’s, blushing slightly.

“I’m so fucking tired.” Kuroo whined. “I just want a shower and my bed right now.”

“Me too. It’s been a long week.” Kenma started lazily playing with Pie’s fur as she busied herself patting Batnyan’s head.

“You want _my_ bed?” Kuroo looked at Kenma, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I’ll throw you out of this moving vehicle, don’t think I won’t.”

“You’re too tired for that.”

“And you get even more annoying when you’re sleepy.”

Kuroo hummed. He picked up Batnyan by his front paws and made him dance to the kpop song that was playing in the radio. He soon ignored the song in favour of singing the “I Love You” song from Barney the Dinosaur. So Kuroo was slowly descending into madness due to lack of sleep. It was cute, though.

“What are you doing?” Kenma asked.

“I’ve been awake for thirty hours, I don’t fucking know.”

They remained silent the rest of the ride back. Kuroo carried their bags while Kenma carried their cats and everything was dropped in the middle of the living room as soon as they got inside. Kuroo took off his shirt and threw it on the couch, because of course he did, and made his way to the bathroom, but stopped halfway there.

“Wait – ” He said, turning to face Kenma. “Sorry, do you wanna go first?”

Kenma would be lying if he said that he didn’t :

  1. Glance at Kuroo’s abs for a couple seconds;
  2. Completely forget how to speak for a moment because he didn’t see Kuroo shirtless almost all throughout the trip to Australia and forgot about that damn hip tattoo that disappeared under the hem of his boxers (How did he forget about that, Kenma had no idea);
  3. _Really_ want to take up on that offer of showering first.



“No, go on ahead.” Kenma said. “Seriously, you’re ¾ asleep already, just go.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Kuroo smiled and walked the rest of the way to the bathroom. Before he could close the door, however, Kenma called after him.

“Don’t fall asleep and hit your head on the wall die while you’re in there.”

“I’ll try my best.”

The door closed and Kenma sighed. Pie pat him on the foot and looked over to the closed bathroom door, then back at him. “I know, I know. I have to talk to him.”

Pie meowed.

“Not this week. My head is a huge mess after all that… interacting thing at the con. Too many people. Need a break for a while, or I can’t do this.” Kenma fiddled with his fingers and took a deep breath. “I need a week, just until I stop feeling like dying, okay? He means a lot to me, Pie.”

Pie mowed again, and Kenma smiled.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, wanna grab some ramen today?” Kuroo plopped himself on the couch next to Kenma. “Don’t feel like cooking.”

Kenma paused the game and just stared at the TV for a couple seconds. “Not today, I don’t feel like going out. Sorry. You can go. I’ll just heat up some leftovers.”

“But… you don’t like leftovers.”

Kuroo could probably not be as good as Kenma at reading people, but he knew when something wasn’t okay. Kenma willingly saying he’ll eat leftovers? Not okay. He noticed something was wrong ever since they got back from Australia. It had been three days and he had barely heard Kenma’s voice in that time.

“I just need some time at home, don’t worry.”

Oh, Kuroo was so far beyond worrying.

They still hadn’t talked about the date, or the cute little kiss on the cheek Kenma gave him, and it was driving Kuroo _insane_. He knew it would be best to give Kenma his time, even if he had never seen to what extents his anxiety could go, but it was eating Kuroo from the inside.

“Alright. I go grab us some udon to go and I’ll just eat the leftovers tomorrow, okay?”

“… Thank you, Kuro.”

Kuroo grabbed a shirt and put it on, still looking at Kenma. “I’m going now. If you need anything, just call me.”

“Okay.”

Kuroo felt like he had to do something, but he wasn’t sure what. He couldn’t just leave his friend feeling like crap and not do something about it.

“He said he needs his time.” Oikawa said that Friday night over a pint of beer. “Just don’t do anything stupid, say you’ll be there for him and wait until he gets better. You can’t force these things, Tetsu-chan.”

“I do believe what Oikawa said is true.” Ushijima took a sip of his juice and gave Kuroo a reassuring look. “You are not being a bad friend by doing what he asked of you. You are being considerate.”

“Face it, Tetsu-chan, no one know’s Kenma’s anxiety better than Kenma.”

Kuroo sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He downed the rest of his beer to try and see if the alcohol would make anything better, but he still wasn’t even tipsy.

“Bro, he asked you to give him a week.” Bokuto threw an arm around Kuroo’s shoulder for support. “If by Tuesday he’s still not okay, then you intervene. Right, Dadchi?”

“I- I don’t know, I’m terrible with people.” Daichi said. “Why are you asking me?”

“Your husband is in like… the health area; you should know what to do.”

“Suga’s a dentist. For _kids._ ”

“Alright.” Kuroo said before it developed into a full blown argument. “I’ll wait ‘till Tuesday before I do anything. I’m still worried though.”

“Are you sure you and Kenma-san are only friends? You sound a lot you are in love with him.” Ushijima said.

Kuroo choked on his beer.

“I-I’m sure. Just friends. I don’t like him like that.” He said in between coughs.

“You spend an awful lot of time together.” Oikawa said.

“We live together!”

“And you always worry a lot about him.” Daichi added.

“I worry about my friends!”

“You went on a date.” Bokuto said, and all eyes turned to Kuroo but no one said anything.

“You whazzawhat now?” Oikawa broke the silence.

“We… still haven’t talked about it.” Kuroo sighed.

“You’re such a bitch!”

“Excuse me?”

Oikawa slammed his glass on the table and Kuroo was afraid it would actually break. “You act like you don’t have feelings for him and that he doesn’t see you as more than a friend, but he was already dumb enough to agree to go on a date with your idiot ass.”

“What do you mean 'dumb'? Oikawa, you and I were fucking throughout most of high school!”

“And you’re as fucking emotionally constipated now as you were back then!”

“Kuroo, you’ve got to admit: If you two already went on a date then you obviously have feelings for him.” Daichi said.

Kuroo looked down at his glass and closed his eyes. He knew he liked Kenma, anyone could see that, but he also cared a lot about Kenma and how he felt. Kenma was difficult to read and Kuroo just – “I don’t wanna fuck this up.” He sighed. “That’s what I do, I fuck things up.”

“You’re not gonna fuck this up, okay?” Bokuto gave him a pat on the back and a reassuring smile. “And we’re here for you if you do.”

“Thanks, guys.”

Still, Kuroo just wanted to help Kenma.

 

* * *

 

 

Kenma was going to tell him on Tuesday, that was what he had decided. And it was going to happen and it would go along great and he just needed one more day.

Monday was horrible. The anxiety of the past week had almost faded away but the anxiety of telling Kuroo how he felt had come full force. It was Kenma’s worst day that month. He couldn’t leave his bed, couldn’t eat and he just needed some support.

There was a knock on his door. He didn’t answer it. A few seconds passed before it opened, just a smidge, just enough for Kuroo to peek into the room.

“Kenma?” He called. “Can I come in?”

Kenma offered a consenting grunt, burying himself deeper into the blankets. He felt the bed dip beside him and a hand touch his shoulder.

“You haven’t left the house since we got back from Australia.” Kuroo said, his voice almost a whisper.

“I just need some time, Kuro, I told you.”

“It’s not healthy, holing up in here, not talking to people. You need to do something”

“I’m not feeling it. Just… not today.”

He heard Kuroo sigh, as though he was thinking of a way out. “C’mon, we’re going out for ice cream.” Kuroo said with a smile.

Kuroo picked Kenma up bridal style, carrying him towards the door. As soon as Kenma’s body left the bed, he started kicking and pushing Kuroo, in an effort to free himself. Red lights and alarms were going off in Kenma’s head, all screaming _Danger! Danger! Run!_ He needed to get out, needed some more time alone to gather his thoughts, to push his anxiety away, and Kuroo was only making it worse.

He thought Kuroo, of all people, would understand him.

“Let me go, Tetsurou!”

A little taken aback by Kenma’s raised voice and harsh tone (and maybe the use of his first name), Kuroo slowly lowered Kenma to the ground. He took a step back, and both men stayed in silence for a few moments.

“I don’t really know what’s going on in my brain right now, but it sucks and I don’t like it and I need some more time. I don’t want to see people right now or talk to people right now because I just can’t do it, it’ll just make it worse. So stop trying to make me”

They stared at each other for a moment, neither really sure of what to say or do. Kenma was a mixture of angry and disappointed and he just wanted to go back to bed until the feeling went away. It was Kuroo who broke the silence.

“You can’t just stay here forever, Kenma. You’ll never get better if you don’t go out and talk to people like a normal person.”

There it was.

People had been calling Kenma a weirdo ever since he was a kid. Classmates, teachers, even his family, everyone would say that he was weird, because he couldn’t make friends and couldn’t talk to a lot of people without crying. He was used to people saying he wasn’t normal, but, when Kuroo said it, Kenma felt sick – like he had just been stabbed in the chest, because it _hurt._

“ _Normal_ person?” He asked, voice cracking.

“I didn’t-”

“Right, I forgot, I’m crazy. Can’t make friends, can’t talk to people without having a panic attack, weird Kenma who only plays video games all day instead interacting like _normal people._ ”

Kenma was getting angrier with each passing second. He didn’t do that usually, let himself lose his cool and raise his voice. But he just couldn’t help it.

“That’s… that’s not what I meant, I…” Kuroo took a step forward, but Kenma took a step back.

“I’m not a child. I know what I can and can’t do, you don’t need to push me into doing things, Kuroo. I try to do things out of my comfort zone but some days I just can't. Thought you knew that.”

“Kenma, don’t-”

“I’m going to spend a few days at Shouyou’s. I’ll try my best to interact like _normal people_ would”

“Kenma”

That was the last he heard of Kuroo before slamming the apartment door shut.

 

* * *

 

 

Kenma rang Shouyou’s doorbell more forcefully than he intended. The train ride there was awkward; he didn’t know why people were staring at him until he noticed he was crying. That only made it worse, throwing his anxiety through the roof and making Kenma cry more. Shouyou still hadn’t answered the door.

Kenma rang the doorbell one more time. He could hear shuffling on the other side as well as Shouyou’s muffled voice complaining.

“Jesus, Mary, Joseph and all of his carpenter friends, someone’s better be dying or I swear I'll- Kenma?” Shouyou’s tone softened as soon as he saw Kenma. His hair was more disheveled than usual and he was only in his pants.

“Sorry, it's a bad time, I'll -”

“No! No, come on in, sit down. Just… not on the couch, you don't wanna do that.”

He sat down on one of the armchairs, pulling his legs up and hugging his knees. Shouyou sat on the floor across from him at the same time Tobio came into the living room, buttoning his trousers.

“I’m… gonna go make tea.” Tobio offered.

“Kenma.” Shouyou said, worry audible in his voice and visible in his eyes. “What happened?”

 

* * *

 

 

**Daichi Is a Kinky Shit v(^  ^ *)**

_Members: Brokuto_ _(*_ _◎ｖ◎_ _*)_ _, The Kinky Shit, Trash King, Ushiwaks™, You_

 

From: Trash King

16:08   i did none of those things

 

From: The Kinky Shit

16:08   yes you did, i was there

 

From: Trash King

16:10   i don’t believe you

16:10   wheres the prof

 

From: The Kinky Shit

16:11   the prof

 

From: Brokuto (*◎ｖ◎*)

16:11   the prof

 

From: The Ushiwaks™

16:12   the prof

 

From: Trash King

16:12   proof*

16:12   u guys are assholes

 

From: You

16:12   i fucked up

 

From: Brokuto (*◎ｖ◎*)

16:13   fucked up as in ‘I ate year old chocolate’ or fucked up like when you told your sister the hair dye was killing her brain cells and she dint talk to you for a month ?

 

From: You

16:13   fucked up with kenma

 

From: Brokuto (*◎ｖ◎*)

16:14   ill be there in 15 with mcdonalds

 

From: Trash King

16:15  ill get beer  

 

From: The Ushiwaks™

16:16   i’ll buy us some ice cream

 

From: The Kinky Shit

16:16   i’ll get the ohshc dvd set

 

From: You

16:18   thank

16:19    i really fucked up guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. Not really.
> 
> Look! Kittens! Who doesn't love kittens? Go look at them!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPv9yKC76hE
> 
> And a Mario Maker Let's play!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_78Xj5__dQ0


	14. Saudade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There are amazing words that we’ll never know if we don’t learn languages!” Daichi continued, ignoring him. “Like, you know when you tell someone you miss them, but it doesn't feel enough? Sure, you miss them, but it's not just that. You feel like you need to see them right at that moment, you wanna be with them because it feels like they took a part of you when they left and it physically hurts to not have them there. You miss them, but also that part of you that's with them and the good times you had together and all the memories you made with them.” 
> 
> “Is this your weird way of telling me you wish Suga was here instead of me?” Kuroo asked. “Cause that was really emo, dude.”
> 
> “Saudade!” 
> 
> Kuroo stared at Daichi for a couple seconds. “Gesundheit.” He said. 
> 
> “No, saudade is the word for all that emo shit! It's a word that only exists in Portuguese!”
> 
> “You're a giant languages nerd, did you know that?” Kuroo said, throwing Daichi a weird look. 
> 
> “I'm literally a linguistics major.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what up guys? did you cry with the last episode of haikyuu s3? i know i did! will you cry today with the last episode of yuri on ice? i know i will! hope you like this chapter cause i'm not a big fan of it... oh well

**Akaashi Keiji**   _uploaded a new video titled:_

** Lua – Bright Eyes | Akaashi Keiji Cover (For a Friend) **

_2 days ago                         109,552 views_

_Akaashi adjusted the capo, which he had put on the seventh fret on his guitar. He tested the sound by playing a couple chords, nothing in particular, just whatever came to mind. Moving the microphone closer to his face, Akaashi cleared his throat and began strumming._

_He was sitting on a rooftop, at sunset. The silhouette of the Tokyo skyline served as his background. It wasn’t dark enough yet for many of the lights to be on, and the city looked peaceful even though it was full of life. The sky was a pale shade of blue, almost grey, with hues of yellow and pink near the horizon. All in all, it was breathtaking._

_I know that it is freezing, but I think we have to walk_

_Keep waving at the taxis, they keep turning their lights off_

_But Julie knows a party at some actor’s west side loft_

_Supplies are endless in the evening_

_By the morning they’ll be gone_

The gentle breeze swayed Akaashi’s hair slightly, his cheeks dusted pink from the early October chill, and his eyes closed, concentrating on the song.

_When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend_

_I get a coffee and my paper, have my own conversations_

_With the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection_

_The mask I polish in the evening_

_By the morning looks like shit_

Behind Akaashi, the sky started getting more and more purple, the soft yellows and pinks turning into different shades of orange. A few lights began appearing on the buildings as the sunlight went away.

_And I know you have a heavy heart, I can feel it when we kiss_

_So many men stronger than me_

_have thrown their backs out trying to lift it_

_But me I’m not a gamble, you can count on me to split_

_The love I sell you in the evening_

_By the morning won’t exist_

Akaashi looked up to the sky as he strummed. The gentle notes from the guitar and the distant sounds of the city just added to the melancholic feel of the video. It was as though he was trying to say something through the song.

_You’re looking skinny like a model_

_with your eyes all painted black_

_Just keep going to the bathroom, always say you’ll be right back_

_Well it takes one to know one kid I think you’ve got it bad_

_But what’s so easy in the evening_

_by the morning’s such a drag_

At this point, the sky was completely dark, just a soft artificial light illuminating Akaashi’s face. Despite the bright lights of the city behind him, so full of colour and so _alive,_ the young man sitting alone with his guitar on a rooftop while all of that was happening behind him just made it all the more dismal.

_I’ve got a flask inside my pocket we can share it on the train_

_And if you promise to stay conscious, I will try and do the same_

_Yeah, we might die from medication_

_But we sure killed all the pain_

_What was normal in the evening_

_by the morning seems insane_

 

_And I’m not sure what the trouble was that started all of this_

_The reasons all have run away_

_But the feeling never did_

_It’s not something I would recommend_

_but it is one way to live_

_‘Cause what is simple in the moonlight by the morning never is_

_It was so simple in the moonlight now is so complicated_

_It was so simple in the moonlight_

_So simple in the moonlight_

_So simple in the moonlight…_

 

 

 **Skye Y.**                                 _2 days ago_

This was absolutely beautiful. My broken heart finds this very comforting <3 Thank you.

**412 likes**

 

 **NNjia**                                    _18 hours ago_

Well done, man, well done

_23 likes_

 

 **Kateh**                                    _18 hours ago_

Who is this for? Please don’t say Bokuto </3

_90 likes_

_View all 6 replies ▽_

 

> **Unburnable Trash**            _3 hours ago_
> 
> nah, don’t think so, bokuto posted a video today and they seem absolutely fine www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLsG0d61vEM3h41kYuuS4
> 
> _2 likes_  

 

* * *

 

 

When they were in university, Kuroo spent a lot of time with Daichi, just hanging out on one of their dorm rooms complaining about everything and anything. He missed those days, before his friend got married and started his doctor’s degree – back when Daichi had an actual _life._ Now they mostly hung out on Friday nights while partially drunk.

But Kuroo remembered once when he was venting about how he hated his Engineering Economy class while Daichi went over his notes for the Language and Literature of Brazil class that he had that day. Kuroo always told him that he didn’t need to go over all the notes from every class of the day, but Daichi said that he needed to for a few, otherwise he would mix up Portuguese and Spanish in a giant Portuspanish mess that didn’t make sense to anyone. “They are too similar and too different at the same time” He would say. “Goddamn I should have chosen just one”

At some point, when Kuroo was almost done talking about Dr. Miyazaki’s stupid face and stupid grading system, Daichi interrupted him.

“You know what I love the most about languages?” He asked.

“I was in the middle of a rant, Dadchi.” Kuroo said.

“There are amazing words that we’ll never know if we don’t learn them!” Daichi continued, ignoring him. “Like, you know when you tell someone you miss them, but it doesn't feel enough? Sure, you miss them, but it's not just that. You feel like you need to see them right at that moment, you wanna be with them because it feels like they took a part of you when they left and it physically hurts to not have them there. You miss t _hem_ , but also that _part of you_ that's with them and the good times you had together and all the memories you made with them.”

“Is this your weird way of telling me you wish Suga was here instead of me?” Kuroo asked. “Cause that was really emo, dude.”

“Saudade!”

Kuroo stared at Daichi for a couple seconds. “Gesundheit.” He said.

“No, saudade is the word for all that emo shit! It's a word that only exists in Portuguese!”

“You're a giant languages nerd, did you know that?” Kuroo said, throwing Daichi a weird look.

“I'm literally a linguistics major.”

“Nerd.”

“Says the guy who uses chemistry based pick-up lines on people.”

Kuroo never gave that whole conversation much thought. It was just something Daichi did sometimes. (“Did you know German has a word for the pleasure you feel watching the misfortune of others? Schadenfreude!” “Everyone has a word for that, Daichi, it's called ‘sadism’.”) But it had been five days since he last saw or spoke to Kenma and he was feeling something weird.

Kuroo was pretending to not know why that specific conversation he had with Daichi over four years ago suddenly came back to him.

 

* * *

 

 

“You know what I found out from these past few days?” Oikawa said, handing Kuroo another beer. On the TV, there was a random superhero movie playing, to which Kuroo was paying zero (0) attention to. He was petting Batnyan for most of the movie as a distraction of sorts, but the traitor got up from his lap to sleep on the bed Kuroo bought for him and that he rarely ever used. In all honesty, Kuroo thought that maybe Batnyan was pissed at him too.

Ushiwaka and Daichi, who had what one would consider a “usual” job that didn’t rely on YouTube paying them, couldn’t stay there watching Kuroo mope all week, but Oikawa and Bokuto had been practically living in his apartment for the past five days. They still hadn’t given him the “you fucked up so you need to do something about it and stop being a bitch” speech yet, so Kuroo was bracing himself for when it inevitably came up.

“What did you find out?” He asked.

“Beer and chocolate chip ice cream _really_ don’t go together.”

“It doesn’t.” Kuroo took a sip of his beer, right before eating a spoonful of ice cream. “Can you believe that’s like 80% of what we’ve been eating since Monday?”

“It ain’t that bad.” Bokuto said. “Kinda tastes like pretzels!”

Kuroo couldn’t help but smile a little. “Bro, everything tastes like pretzels to you.”

“The taste of pretzels is eternal.”

“The taste of pretzels is limited to pretzels. Get your shit together.”

“Alright.” Oikawa said abruptly. He looked up from his phone and over to Kuroo and Bokuto. “We’ve hit that point, the one where we need to talk about it. So spill, Kuroo.”

“We’re… not there yet. Maybe a couple more days?” Kuroo tried to protest, but the look on Oikawa’s face said that he was having none of it.

“Chris Evans is shirtless and we’re discussing pretzels. Why haven’t you called Kenma yet, you tool?”

Kuroo glanced at the TV and sighed. Chris Evans was, indeed, shirtless, so Oikawa was right. They had reached _that_ point. The point where he’s just trying too hard to get back into wallowing in self-pity, when he usually talked about useless stuff and ignored anything good that might be happening in favour of feeling sorry for himself.

“He won’t answer if I call.” Kuroo said.

“Bitch, you haven’t tried yet! You just stay here whining and eating beer ice cream that kinda tastes like pretzels, get _your_ shit together!”  Oikawa huffed and crossed his arms. “Bokuto, help me out here.”

Bokuto set down his beer and spoon. He opened his mouth as though he was going to say something, but closed it almost immediately. He hesitated twice more before actually speaking. “Oikawa.” He said. “Can you go get us some real food while I talk to Kuroo?”

They stared at each other for a couple seconds in a silent conversation that Kuroo was most definitely not a part of. “Alright.” Oikawa said, throwing his arms up in defeat. “Okay. Yeah, I’ll go get us something edible to shove down our face holes. I’ll be back in like half an hour.”

“Thanks, dude.” Bokuto smiled. Him and Kuroo silently waited for Oikawa to grab his keys and head out of the apartment. As soon as they heard the lift door shutting, Bokuto was going over to sit right in front of Kuroo.

“Okay.” He said carefully, almost as if he was afraid of startling Kuroo. “Now we talk.”

 

* * *

 

 

On Tuesday, the first day after Kenma had left, Hinata showed up at Kuroo’s door.

“I’m just gonna grab some of Kenma’s stuff and Pie.” He said.

Kuroo had been crying and he knew that Hinata noticed it too. He also noticed the four other people that were also in the apartment, all in their PJs and stuffing their face with food and alcohol at eight in the morning. Hinata acknowledged them with a nod and followed Kuroo to Kenma’s room.

He just looked as Hinata got some clothes, underwear and videogames and stuffed them in a duffel bag. When he was done, Kuroo started leading him into the kitchen, where most of Pie’s stuff were. “There’s not much for her, mostly food and –”

“You’re really impulsive, aren’t you, Kuroo-san?” Hinata interrupted. Even though Kuroo was already halfway down the corridor, Hinata was still in Kenma’s room, holding a duffel bag in one hand and Pie on the other.

“What do mean?” Kuroo asked.

“When we were in high school, I remember most of the times you’d do a read block, ‘cause it was what you were the most sure about.” Hinata’s voice was soft, and Kuroo had to go back to the bedroom to hear him properly. “On the court you were the ‘scheming captain’ or whatever, we were terrified of you,, but then whenever you weren’t playing you just did whatever came to mind without thinking twice.

“Like when you saw Tsukishima and asked him to jump some blocks for you even though you two had never talked before. Or when you said you became a youtuber cause it sounded fun and just quit your job at that oil industry, or when you asked Kenma to move in with you after only knowing each other for two months because he said he was tired of living with Lev. You do a lot of stuff like this, right? You just… don’t think a whole lot before doing the thing.”

That took Kuroo by surprise. He wasn’t expecting Hinata to say something like that, but it did make him think. His mother always said that Kuroo did things in a whim, that he usually didn’t think things through. He knew that, but he was hoping that other people wouldn’t notice it too.

“That’s why you said all that stuff you didn’t mean, isn’t it?” Hinata added.

“I… never took you for someone that observant, Shrimpy-chan.” Kuroo said after a few awkward moments of silence, having been caught off-guard and not sure of how to respond to any of that.

Hinata gave him a big smile. “It wasn’t me, Tobio was the one who noticed all of that! He told me to say it to you as threateningly as possible. I’m not very threatening.”

Kuroo huffed out a laugh. “I don’t usually think before talking, yeah. I’ll tell Kags that you were very threatening, that you brought a knife and everything.”

“Thanks, Kuroo-san! You still fucked up, though. Big time.”

“I know. How is he?”

“He’s doing terrible, not gonna lie.” Hearing that was like being stabbed in the heart with a hot knife that was slightly blunt. Kuroo looked down at his feet, he felt like crying again, how could he have been so fucking _stupid?_ “He’ll be okay. He’s just sad and really mad at you. He’s smad.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Not me you should be apologising to. And not now, ‘cause he would just straight up kill you. Give him some time to cool off, okay?”

“Thanks for coming here, Shrimpy-chan.”

“Didn’t come here for you, Kuroo-san.”

“Right.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Bro, I love you, but what the ever loving _fuck_ are you doing?” Bokuto said.

Kuroo wasn’t expecting him to be that harsh. Bokuto was the kind of guy who hinted at things and tiptoed around touchy subjects. Kuroo wasn’t really sure how to respond – that seemed to be a common theme for the past few days, he just didn’t have an answer whenever someone asked a question.

“I don’t –”

“Rhetorical question, I know what you’re doing.” Bokuto interrupted, pressing a finger to Kuroo’s mouth to shut him up. “You have a problem that’s bigger than Oikawa’s ego and you’re ignoring it, hoping that it will solve itself. But it won’t fucking solve itself!”

“I know it won’t!”

“Well, then act like it!” They were screaming at this point, Kuroo’s neighbour would probably knock on his door at any moment to complain about the noise. “Hurting people’s feelings sucks, okay? It sucks so bad and it’s really easy to do. And the thing is, everyone hurts people’s feelings, it happens all the time. But you’ve had enough time to think about how much of an asshole you’ve been so stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it!”

“I wasn’t that much of an asshole!”

The next thing Kuroo knew, Bokuto’s fist was connecting to his jaw and he was crashing down on the floor. He massaged the side of his face to soothe the pain, still a bit shocked.

“You weren’t that much of an asshole?” Bokuto yelled. “Kuroo, you knew the guy had really bad anxiety and you knew that there are days when it’s so bad he can’t talk to anyone and needs just support from his friends, and you knew it because he fucking _told you that,_ and you tried to force him out of the house and said he was not normal! _Not much of an asshole,_ you were the biggest gaping asshole on this side of Japan!”

“Okay, I… Yeah, punch me one more time, I deserve it”

Bokuto punched the other side of Kuroo’s face, equally forceful.

“Thanks, that’s-” Bokuto punched him one more time in the stomach, although he was considerably holding it. “What was that for?!”

“Three time’s the charm.”

“You uh… you held your last punch.”

“Yeah, cause unlike you, I’m not a dick to my friends.”

Kuroo hesitated. “Sorry.”

“Not me you should be apologising to, dude.”

“I’ve been apologising to the wrong person for like a week.” Kuroo ran a hand through his hair, trying to figure out what he was going to do exactly. “I really like him.”

“I know, bro. And you need to tell him that along with the world’s greatest apology.” Bokuto gave Kuroo a side hug, and Kuroo rested his head on his shoulder. “By the way, you’re a great punching bag.”

“Thanks.” Kuroo chuckled.

“Well that was cute as shit.” Oikawa said as he entered the apartment, arms full of Chinese takeout. “Seriously I think I’m gonna cry. Can I punch Kuroo too, since that’s a thing we’re doing now?”

“How long have you been there?” Kuroo asked.

“Like five minutes. There’s a Chinese place literally across the street, how long did you think I would take?”

“I hate you guys.”

“Nah.” Bokuto ruffled Kuroo’s hair, laughing. “You love us.”

 

* * *

 

 

 **Kuroo <3**   @theoriginallolcat                       4h

hey guys sorry i haven’t been really active lately, things are kinda hectic rn  <3 u

> **Kuroo <3**   @theoriginallolcat                       4h
> 
> **@theoriginallolcat** also i’m a dick.. just throwing that out there
> 
>  
> 
> **Minhyuk’s Ass**    @burritooju                      3h
> 
> **@theoriginallolcat** u okay my dude?
> 
>  
> 
> **Sarahh ^.^** @shh95                                       3h
> 
> **@theoriginallolcat**???? ?? ?what happened boo boo?
> 
>  

 

**tumblr - Trending Now**

Kuroo Tetsurou | Kozume Kenma | ice gays | monsta x | rwby | Halloween | Akaashi Keiji | youtuber

 

 **kuroosucc.tumblr.com** **:**  

> so like… they’re not living together anymore??? what happened???? guys I’m worried af someone help me…… my sons……….

    649 notes

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i too am a huge languages nerd.
> 
> (bokuto's speech inspired by my boo frosty the snowqueer)
> 
> Lua - by Bright Eyes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSBs-hiapo4
> 
> (If you want to better imagine the scenery for Akaashi's video, here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZ9lJ5ctd0s) (also, since the last update my life has been destroyed by Lee Fucking Minhyuk, so yes, there is a better video of a live version of the actual song that would suit this a lot better and the scenery is also pretty similar but i've sold my soul to that man.) (thanks a lot fuckface) 
> 
> i too think everything tastes like pretzels


	15. #KurooLetOikawaSanBreathe2k15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No one can completely understand everything. Maybe you can't figure out cooking, or maths, or rendering, but there's always an exception. Something or someone that you can understand a little better, so work on that until the puzzle pieces come together. Little by little, it will all make sense eventually.”
> 
> Kenma wasn't paying attention to the lecture enough to know how he became the example. All he knew was that it was some gratuitous amount of exposing and he did not appreciate it.
> 
> Still, he tried to look for that exception. Tried to find the one person who wasn't a complete mystery to him. It wasn't Shouyou, he never exactly knew how to respond to anything his friend ever did. It wasn't his parents, Kenma didn't know what they did half the time and had no idea how to please them. Not Tobio, not Tora, not the lady from the flower shop that always greeted him when he was going to the supermarket, not his nan, not Pie, not Mori, definitely not Lev.
> 
> He was giving up trying to understand people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit this took forever.
> 
> Sorry about that... but... life...
> 
> This is so short too... i'm a sham

**Oikawa Tooru** uploaded a new video titled:

** #KurooLetOikawaSanBreathe2k15 | GRWM Oikawa Tooru **

_17 hours ago                                      844,716 views_

 

The first shot of the video was of Oikawa staring at the floor, shaking his head, his expression a mix of disgust and disbelief.

“Tequila just spilt glitter all over my bedroom floor… It’s fine, I have time to clean it, it’s not like I have a wedding to plan or anything.” He said sarcastically.

“Hello, beauties!” Oikawa greeted. “As you know, Iwa-chan and I are getting married next year!” The video cut to a shot of him throwing confetti and blowing a party horn, no longer than three seconds. “And I’m going out in a few to take a look at some venues with him, so I thought, ’Huh, haven’t done a get ready with me in a while, let’s do that!’ So I’m doing that. And talking about life, as always.”

Oikawa took a bottle of primer, applying some to his face. White text appeared on the screen saying “Product details in the description box below ｀;:゛;｀;･(°ε° )”.

“I bought a new… uh, a new thingy of concealer yesterday, and I thought I’d test it when I got home and then immediately broke it, so the one I’m gonna use today is not that great. Thankfully I can afford to replace it soon, but when I was first starting out, if the concealer stick broke in half I’d just have to deal with it. I remember once a viewer told me that there was a great NARS setting powder I could use and I was like, ‘Bitch I can’t fucking afford NARS, who do you think I am’.”

 He started pouring a bit of foundation on the side of his hand to begin working on his skin, but accidentally put on too much. “Shit shit, get back in there. Good fucking God, okay, everything’s under control. See, that’s why I don’t do these videos often, it’s cause I’m a mess.

“Have I ever told you guys about the time when my sister asked me to do her make up –” Oikawa then went on on a story about how he accidently destroyed all of his sister’s makeup while he finished up his skin. By the time he was done, his face looked blemishless and perfect.

Taking another brush and an eye shadow palette, Oikawa began applying a peach colour to his lid. “I’ve been running all around Tokyo for these past few days, I swear – planning a wedding is so much work! That and the fact that I need to go to and from Kuroo’s apartment all the – oh my god, Kuroo, let me tell you about that bitch.

 “I’m not going into details ‘cause something personal happened to him, he was an accidental asshole, dude’s messed up. _But_ he’s gone full emo to match that fringe of his and just mopes 24/7. I swear, it’s the most 2007 shit I’ve seen since My Chemical Romance split up.” Oikawa finished blending in the darker browns and moved on to eyeliner and mascara, all while ranting about his friend.

“I try to help him as much as I can, obviously, but this is just getting ridiculous. Let me breathe for a second, Kuroo, geez. Hashtag Kuroo Let Oikawa-san Breathe, I want everyone to start tweeting him to get his shit together with that hashtag. Hopefully by the time this video comes out he’ll have grown the fuck up, but still.”

Once the eyes were done, he moved on to the lips, applying a pink lipstick and making the gradient effect, bringing up a new topic to talk about.

**The chair that Yoongi threw in the Run MV**                         5 hours ago

w hy do you always look so good and your makeup is so perfect wh at are yuo doin g t o m e

277 likes

 

 **Who cares at this point**                                                               2 hours ago

boi this makeup looked so good on you . and with that loose sweater oh my god

50 likes

 

 **Do u guys read these?**                                                          30 minutes ago

Kuroo tf did u do my guy

11 likes

 

* * *

 

 

When Kenma was in university, he had a cinematography professor who honestly thought he was Freud - even though Kenma was sure that Freud wasn't a 56 year old overexcitable Spanish dude who looked like a puppet. Dr. Turró was batshit, spent most of his class psychoanalysing the students instead of teaching them how to build a good looking and believable virtual world. He usually made people cry during his lectures for multiple reasons.

Kenma prided himself for being the only student who hadn't fallen victim to the professor’s random psychoanalysis, until, of course, it happened. Took him long enough.

“Mr. Kozume, for example.” Dr. Turró said suddenly during a lecture, startling Kenma mostly because he was sure the professor didn't even know he took that class, let alone know his name. “He doesn't say much, always quiet in his corner seat, looking more lost than a goat in a garage despite having good marks.”

_More lost than - what? Where did the goat come from? Why a goat?_

“I'd say you're not lost because of the lecture, you know perfectly well what's being said.” Dr. Turró continued. “It's the people around you who you don't understand.”

Suddenly all eyes are on Kenma. He wanted to puke. Wanted to curl up into a ball and die. Wanted to jump out of the window headfirst into the pavement. Whichever got those people to fucking _look away._

“You can code a game like it's as simple as boiling water, Mr. Kozume, but people? People are a mystery, a puzzle you can't figure out. There's not a single person in this world who you can completely understand. Not your parents, not your friends, not even yourself.

“No one can completely understand everything. Maybe you can't figure out cooking, or maths, or rendering, but there's always an exception. Something or someone that you can understand a little better, so work on that until the puzzle pieces come together. Little by little, it will all make sense eventually.”

Kenma wasn't paying attention to the lecture enough to know how he became the example. All he knew was that it was some gratuitous amount of exposing and he did not appreciate it.

Still, he tried to look for that exception. Tried to find the one person who wasn't a complete mystery to him. It wasn't Shouyou, he never exactly knew how to respond to anything his friend ever did. It wasn't his parents, Kenma didn't know what they did half the time and had no idea how to please them. Not Tobio, not Tora, not the lady from the flower shop that always greeted him when he was going to the supermarket, not his nan, not Pie, not Mori, _definitely_ not Lev.

He was giving up trying to understand people.

“You know, despite losing at those youtube awards, Kuroo-san’s not as sad as I thought he would be.” Shouyou said once, after some stupid awards ceremony that took place a few days before YouCon.

“What do you mean, he's miserable.” Kenma said.

“Really?”

“He just thinks that he shouldn't bother people with his problems cause a lot of people have it worse. Pretty stupid, if you ask me.”

“You really understand him, huh, Kenma?”

“I guess…”

Wait...

_Oh._

Well, that was an interesting turn of events.

Kuroo was the exception and Kenma had never been happier. He got ecstatic whenever he could tell what his friend was feeling, when he knew what he was thinking. Kenma liked knowing what Kuroo needed, liked knowing his habits and weird quirks. He felt like he completely understood Kuroo, until he didn’t.

Well.

That was an interesting turn of events.

 

* * *

 

 

“How do you guys survive on pizza and takeout?” Kenma asked.

Shouyou lowered his pizza slice and looked at Kenma. Tobio just continued eating.

“We're not great cooks and we're really lazy.” Shouyou shrugged. “You get used to it, and when we actually cook something it's that much more special!”

“You can't climb a flight of stairs without having a minor heart attack.”

“Neither could you in May.” Shouyou retorted. “Kuroo spoiled you with his cooking.”

Kenma stilled. He couldn't chew, couldn't swallow, he just stared at the coffee table that was covered with the pizza boxes and coke cans.

Because, God, he missed Kuro. Kenma knew Kuroo didn't mean to offend him, knew that he was worried and just had no idea what to do, he knew it now that the anger had worn off. But Kenma was still owed an apology, Kuro couldn't just get out of this with a pat on the back and a slap on the wrist. He needed to see that what he did was wrong and that it hurt Kenma. So Kenma waited for him.

“Sorry.” Shouyou said.

“It’s okay.” Kenma mumbled and continued to eat. He ignored the silent argument between Shouyou and Tobio, the light slaps they gave each other and whispers of “dumbass” being the only sound in the room until Shouyou’s phone began to ring.

“Huh?” Shouyou murmured when he looked at the caller ID. “Oikawa-san’s calling me. Weird, he usually calls Tobio…”

“Just answer it, dumbass.”

“Alright, alright, calm down.” Shouyou pressed the phone to his ear, hesitantly. “Hello?”

 

* * *

 

 

“I know you hate that green hoodie, but it looks good on you, so I brought it anyway.” Shouyou sat on the guest bed while Kenma looked through the duffel bag. His friend had just arrived with his stuff and Pie so he needed to sort through everything.

Kenma had sent Shouyou back to the apartment after he calmed down, noticing that he had left with only his phone and wallet, which weren’t enough to live for an undetermined amount of time at a friend’s house. Also, he had left his cat there and if there was one thing he needed a lot for emotional support, that was Pie.

 “I’m not going to wear that thing.” Kenma said.

“Whatever, your funeral. It does look good on you.” Shouyou fell back on the bed and started kicking his feet in the air.

The “guest room” Kenma was staying at was actually Natsu’s, for when she went over to stay with her brother. It was very pink and yellow, filled with cat plushies and posters of K-Pop artists. There were a few pictures too, some of the Hinata family, others of Natsu’s volleyball accomplishments and award ceremonies. “The best libero in all of Japan!” as Shouyou would often brag – the many awards she won did back him up, though.

“Did you at least get my Final Fantasy VII?” Kenma asked.

“Yep! Also got your Metal Gear, your Elder Scrolls, Fire emblem, and all the other stuff on you ‘important shelf’. Don’t worry, Kenma, all your babies are there.” Shouyou got up and walked towards him. He shoved his hand in one of the pockets and took out the familiar red 3DS. “He-who-shall-not-be-named also told me to give you this. I was impressed you didn’t have it on you.”

“I – wait, He-who-shall-not-be-named?”

“Whenever I say it you go into max moping mode, so, yeah, from now on he’s like fucking Voldemort.”

Kenma took the handheld and turned it in his hands as though he was looking for something out of place. “Alright. Thanks.”

“No problem. I gotta finish up some stuff for my video, if you need me I’ll be in the office.” Shouyou walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Just like that, Kenma was alone again.

He sat down on Natsu’s bed and scooted over to rest his back on the wall. Pie climbed up to his lap, rubbing her head on Kenma’s, hand, asking to be pet. He opened up the 3DS and began absentmindedly going through it. Something caught his eye and he couldn’t help but huff out an almost sad laugh.

“Meow?” Pie asked.

“Idiot never finished Majora’s Mask. Why do you think that is?”

“Meow.”

“I don’t know either. I’m just reaching at this point, aren’t I?”

“Meow.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Alright, alright, calm down.” Hinata pressed the phone to his ear, hesitantly. “Hello?”

“ _Ah, Shrimpy-chan, how are you~?”_

“Good, good, how about you?”

_“Getting prettier with each passing day! How about Tobio-chan, he has that important game for the World’s tomorrow, right?”_

“Yeah, against Sada! He's trying to not freak out, but that never works, he always does.”

“Hey!” Kageyama protested.

“Shush, I’m on the phone.”

 _“Tell him that if he doesn't give me credit for that jump serve again during the interview that I'll punch his fucking face in~”_ Despite the threat, Oikawa’s voice was as sweet as ever. _“Now, can you pass over to Kenma? I need to talk to him but I knew he wouldn't answer if I called him.”_

“Oh, yeah, sure. Just don't say anything too… Oikawa.”

“I'll be on my best behaviour, pinky promise!”

Hinata shrugged, despite knowing that Oikawa couldn’t see him. “Alright then.” He stretched out his hand offering Kenma the phone. “He wants to talk to you.”

“Tell him I’m not here right now.”

From the phone a voice could be faintly heard saying, “ _I can hear everything that you’re saying!”_

“Just answer it before he comes here personally.”

_“I would, too!”_

Kenma sighed and picked up the phone, before standing up and leaving the room.

“What do you think Oikawa-san wants to talk to him about?” Hinata asked.

“Obviously Kuroo. What else would it be, dumbass?” Kageyama snapped.

“Yeah but, like… what do you think he’ll say?”

“How should I know? I’ve never understood Oikawa _or_ Kenma!”

“That’s because you’re super freaking dense.”

“Fuck off!”

“Love you too.”

 

* * *

 

 

 _“Hello, Pudding-chan! Glad to see you’re alive~”_ Tooru said as soon as Kenma picked up.

“Tooru, I know why you called, and no, I’m not going back to the apartment.” Kenma said, harshly.

_“Oh, Pudding-chan, that’s not why I called! I know you’re not getting your cute little ass anywhere near that apartment any time soon. But I do need to ask you something.”_

Kenma remained silent for a few moments, processing those words. “Ask… me? What do you have to ask me?”

 _“Pudding-chan…”_ Oikawa hesitated. _“Kenma. I know Kuroo was a huge dick, I know he hurt you, and he knows it too, I’m not asking you to just go back and forgive him. But you matter to him, more than anyone else aside from his family. He cares a lot and he’s feeling like shit – and before you say anything, I know you feel like shit too, and I know you also care about him, but Kuroo’s given up. He thinks you hate him and never want to talk to him or see his stupid face ever again.”_

“I don’t hate him.” Kenma interjected. “But I am mad at him.”

_“Trust me, everyone is. Bokuto punched him yesterday, it was great.”_

Kenma almost laughed. Almost. Although the imagery was very funny, he had to admit, even if he felt a bit bad for Kuroo. Bokuto was pretty strong.

_“I just needed you to confirm it for me. Do you think you’d be willing to talk to him? You know, if he went there?”_

“Yeah. Yeah, sure. I’ll talk to him.”

“ _Great! Thanks a lot, Pudding-chan! I gotta go now, talk to you later~”_

“Yeah… Bye.”

God, it had been so long since Kenma had last seen Kuroo. He was actually excited to talk to him again, but first that giant skunk-haired dork owed him the biggest apology ever of all time. But knowing that Kuroo also missed him made things a bit easier.

 

* * *

 

 

“There you go, you stale chocolate muffin.” Oikawa said as soon as he ended the call. “Tomorrow you’ll visit him. No ifs, ands or buts.”

“I missed his voice.” Kuroo said.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re super fucking whipped. You’re welcome, by the way.”

“Thanks, Oikawa.”

“You should probably take a shower first. Get some sleep. Do you want a BB cream?”

“Alright, now you can fuck right off.”

 

* * *

 

 

 **Get In The Robot Shinji**   @kaori—h                                         5h

 **@theoriginallolcat** have you gotten your shit together?  #KurooLetOikawaSanBreathe2k15

 

 **Ed Rodriguez**   @ededdeddy                                                       2h

 **@theoriginallolcat** Oikawa-san told us to ask you if you’ve gotten your shit together yet #KurooLetOikawaSanBreathe2k15

**Isildinha Furacão**   @imrunningoutofnames                         30min

 **@theoriginallolcat** gather your shit boi  #KurooLetOikawaSanBreathe2k15

 

 **Kuroo <3**  @theoriginallolcat                                                       28min

 **@thegreatoikawa** what the hell did you do

 

 **v(*** **ﾟ** **▽** **ﾟ** ***)v**   @thegreatoikawa                                                 20 min

 **@theoriginallolcat** just doing god’s work ☆⌒(≧▽° )

 

* * *

 

 

**Daichi Is a Kinky Shit v(^  ^ *)**

_Members: Brokuto (*_   _◎ｖ◎_   _*)_   _, The Kinky Shit, Trash King, Ushiwaks™, You_

 

From: Trash King

19:25 I solved all of kuroo’s problems

19:25 Ergo all of our problems

19:25 We are free

19:25 ~freedoooom lalalalalalala

19:25 ~I don’t know the lyricsss

19:26 But we are freeee

 

From: Brokuto (* ◎ｖ◎ *) 

19:28 Did you punch him?

19:28 It’s fun

 

From: Trash King

19:28 No cause I’m a stable fucking human being

19:29 I wanted to tho

 

From: The Kinky Shit

19:29 When did you punch Kuroo?

 

From: Brokuto (* ◎ｖ◎ *) 

19:32 Just the other day

 

From: Ushiwaks™

19:32 Please define “all of our problems”

 

From: Trash King

19:35 I solve dthe problem of the giant emo cat leeching on our youth

19:35 Ur welcome

19:36 Go away no one likes you

 

From: You

19:38 I’m not sure what to think

 

From: Trash King

19:40 I think you should exfoliate

 

From: You

19:40 I think you should SHUT YOU STUPID FUCKING MOUTH

 

From: Trash King

19:41 .:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ no ☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you mean i had a cinema prof who thought he was freud and just inserted him in the fic I've never done that before in my life
> 
> Oikawa is heavily inspired by Edward Avila <3:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHzSVMEK7ds


	16. Hello, 999? I Have No Idea What I'm Doing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They stayed like that while Kenma did the dishes – holding each other’s hands while Tobio stared at the floor and Shouyou looked like he wanted to say something. In the end, though, it was Tobio who broke the suffocating silence in the room.
> 
> “Hey.” He said, turning to look at Shouyou. “I’m gonna get you that bronze medal, okay?”
> 
> Shouyou smiled and gave Tobio a quick kiss on the lips. “Okay.”
> 
> 'It would be nice to have that with Kuroo, huh? The kisses, the smiles, the promises.' His brain offered again.
> 
> 'It would be nice if you could shut up for like two seconds.' Kenma countered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides under a rock*
> 
> *throws chapter at you*

** theoriginallolcat  ** _uploaded a new video titled:_

** Axe Kicking Desks (It’s Not as Cool as it Sounds) | VLOG **

_30 minutes ago                                                                 20,830_

The video began with the camera focusing in on Kuroo’s phone, messaging app open on a conversation with “Brokuto (* ◎ｖ◎ *)”.

“So, uh, yesterday Bokuto sent me a message.” Kuroo began talking as he adjusted his grip on the phone. He put the camera closer to the phone, so it only displayed the message ‘dude’ and the time it was sent. “He sent it at fucking _eleven fifty three pm_ , Lord knows why, saying that he changed desks and if I wanted to go there tomorrow, which is today, to destroy the old one.”

The camera flipped, so it was now showing Kuroo’s face. He was in the backseat of an uber, the scenery outside the car window indicating it was still morning. Kuroo ran a hand through his hair, which only made it messier, and smiled at the camera.

“So that’s what I’m doing today.” He said. “I’m almost at Bokuto and Akaashi’s apartment so we’ll see how that goes.”

The video cut to a shot of a white desk looking rather worse for wear. It definitely needed a paint job, a new leg to replace the clearly loose front left one, and the hole in the middle of it was beyond repair. Bokuto was crouching in front of it, both hands up in peace signs, wearing a snapback and sunglasses that were upside-down on his face. All in all, he looked ridiculous.

Suddenly, Kuroo slowly lifted his right foot and gently tapped Bokuto’s face with it. “Stop being a dork, it’s embarrassing.” He said.

Bokuto got up and took his glasses off as dramatically as he could, getting closer to the camera. “Time to axe kick a desk.”

“Who’s gonna do it?” Kuroo asked.

“You’re doing it. My leg doesn’t go up enough for me to axe kick this thing, you’re a lot more flexible than I am.” As to prove his point, Bokuto raised his leg as far as it went without him bending his knee. It didn’t go very far.

“Okay, but shouldn’t we put something like a sheet or whatever underneath it so it’s easier to clean up?”

Bokuto’s face twisted up in confusion. “Clean up what?” He asked.

“We’re gonna break your desk.”

“It’s not gonna break, bro.”

“It’s a five-year-old IKEA desk with a hole in the middle.”

“Nah, it’s good.”

The camera turned to the right, focusing on Akaashi, who was leaning on the doorframe. “Akaashi, would you stand on the desk for a second?” Kuroo asked.

“No, okay, but if Akaashi stands on it, it’ll break, though.” Bokuto said from off screen. The camera panned back to him.

“So me axe kicking it is fine –” Kuroo said. “– But Akaashi, who weighs, like, 65kg by the way, standing on it will break it? How does that make sense?”

“Physics.” Was Bokuto’s only response.

After a hard cut in the video, Kuroo was standing in front of the desk, camera now being held by Akaashi. Kuroo took a deep breath, raised his leg, and, in a swift motion, brought it down on the desk, bringing the desk down with it.

Bokuto looked at the remainders of his desk, split in half on the floor, wood chips and cardboard pieces covering the carpet. Kuroo clapped his hands together and looked directly at the camera.

“Oh, would you look at that!” He said, a sarcastic tone in his voice. “It broke! Remember when I said it was gonna break?”

“I’m not cleaning this up.” Akaashi deadpanned.

Bokuto lowered his head, defeated. “Let’s just go eat lunch.”

With another cut in the video, Kuroo was back in his bedroom. He was sitting shirtless on his chair, headphones around his neck and a grin on his face.

“So I just got back from lunch with Bokuto and Akaashi.” He rubbed his eyes and adjusted his grip on the camera. “I’ve got this really annoying headache so I’m just going to finish up something for my video that’s coming out later this week and then I’ll take a nap. Not an interesting day, I’m afraid. I axe kicked a desk though, that was awesome!”

Kuroo lowered the camera to focus on the Himalayan cat that was biting his toes.

“Also –” He said. “– I’ve recently found out that Pie loves eating my socks while I’m still wearing them. So, I’ve got that going on for me. And by ‘that’ I mean ‘only three good pairs of socks left’. Bad kitten.” The camera panned up so it was showing Kuroo’s face again. “But that’s all for me today, friends! See you next video, stay hydrated.”

 

 **Super Aaron** 20 minutes ago

I think Kuroo is secretly Iron Fist

60 likes

 

 **That Time Minhyuk Drop Kicked Kihyun**                5 minutes ago

Aaah shirtless Kuroo ##blessed

3 likes

 

 **Lindsay Thomas** Just now

pie? but i thought …. they weren’t living together anymore … . i am confusion

1 like

 

* * *

 

 

Tobio’s match was early. Too early. Eight o'clock. In Kenma’s language, eight o'clock meant the crack of dawn and also certain death to whoever woke him up. Still, 7:30 and there he was next to Shouyou in the bleachers.

It wouldn’t be an easy game. The team they were playing against was good – really good. Tobio had been more nervous than he cared to admit, which only made Shouyou nervous, which only made Kenma want to back to bed and wake up never. Still, his friends had really supported him for the past couple weeks and the least he could do was offer some support back.

The first set was brutal, ending 25-21 with Tobio’s team winning, but Kenma had a bad feeling that that wouldn’t be the pattern for the rest of the game.

“What are our chances?” Shouyou asked just before the second set began. Kenma never ended up playing volleyball, although not for lack of trying on Shouyou’s part. But he knew a lot about the sport and was good at analysing players, so Shouyou always asked that same question before every game they watched together.

“Their setter’s good, but Tobio’s way better, no doubt there. The middle blocker’s the one we need to worry about. He’s not only really good with the read-blocks but his serves would give pre-surgery Tooru a run for his money.”

 _Kuro was an amazing middle-blocker too, wasn’t he?_ A voice in the back of Kenma’s head said.

 _This is the most unnecessary piece of information you have ever given me and I am thoroughly disappointed._ He said back.

Shouyou let out a deep sigh. “I can’t believe Oikawa-san had to retire so early because of that damn knee. Our team would be so much better with him!”

“I’m not sure he’s too happy about it either, Shouyou. But it’s been two years, get over it.”

“Oh!” Shouyou exclaimed. “It’s starting. Keep your pessimism down, we’ll win this.”

They didn’t win. It wasn’t even close. 3-1 in an amazing comeback by the opposing team and, as wonderful as Tobio had been out there, it wasn’t enough. Tooru always said, “six who are strong are stronger” and it was clear that, although Tobio was the best player on court, the other team had the stronger six.

Lunch was quiet. Kenma never said much, but Tobio too only look down at his plate as he ate in silence. Shouyou constantly looked like he was trying to start a conversation but decided otherwise.

They stayed like that while Kenma did the dishes – holding each other’s hands while Tobio stared at the floor and Shouyou looked like he wanted to say something. In the end, though, it was Tobio who broke the suffocating silence in the room.

“Hey.” He said, turning to look at Shouyou. “I’m gonna get you that bronze medal, okay?”

Shouyou smiled and gave Tobio a quick kiss on the lips. “Okay.”

 _It would be nice to have that with Kuroo, huh? The kisses, the smiles, the promises._ His brain offered again.

 _It would be nice if you could shut up for like two seconds._ Kenma countered.

 

* * *

 

 

The doorbell rang at exactly 4:30 in the afternoon. Kenma didn’t bother with it besides being closest to the door, so Shouyou was the one who answered seeing as Tobio had been sleeping all afternoon. Kenma only kept on playing his game without bothering to try and listen what Shouyou and the person’s conversation was about.

That was until he heard Kuroo’s voice call his name from the door.

Understandably, Kenma felt somewhat unsure of what to do. He wanted to hug Kuroo, and slap Kuroo, and maybe just keep playing his game. He ended up just staring, which was truly not the best option.

“Well…” Shouyou looked pensively around in the silence. “This is… nice.”

“Just go to the kitchen, Shouyou.” Kenma said matter-of-factly.

Shouyou immediately started walking upstairs to the kitchen without question. “Yeah, you two sort this shit out.”

Once he was sure Shouyou was outside of hearing range, Kenma turned back to Kuroo. He looked pale and sickly, and Kenma guessed he hadn’t gone jogging or to the gym in a while. And while Kenma hated seeing him like that, he still needed to show him how angry and hurt he was.

Kuroo extended a bouquet of roses he was hiding behind his back, it wasn’t anything flashy, which only made Kenma appreciate the gift more. “I… brought you flowers.” Kuroo said. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Kenma held back a laugh and went up to take the flowers. The thing about Kuroo was that he could have just straight up killed a dude and be covered in blood, he would still be endearing.

“Thank you.” Kenma mumbled. He put the flowers on the couch, just to get them out of the way while they talked.

“Okay so… I'm a dick.” Kuroo said.

“Put that in a memo and entitle it ‘shit I already know’.” Kenma retorted.

“Guess I walked right into that one. But yes, I'm a huge dick.”

“Is that your apology?”

“Not all of it…”

“Good.”

“I –”

“’Cause it sucks.”

Kuroo let out a breath and looked down. “I'm really sorry. I knew you were having a bad week and I thought I could help and I got angry when I couldn't and - I don't know, I just wanted to be there for you and I thought I knew what was best but turns out I didn't and I should have listened to you but I didn't ‘cause I'm a dick.”

“You say ‘I’ too much.”

“I'm sorry.”

“There it is again.” Kenma sighed “Communication’s a two way street. I should have told you more about that. That sometimes everything just gets too much and I just want to be alone and it's not because of you or anyone in particular, I just need some time by myself.”

“It's not your fault.”

“Glad you know that.” Kenma stared at him for a while, but Kuroo averted his gaze. “Why do you have a busted lip?”

“Bokuto punched the shit out of me last week. Three times. For… for being a giant gaping asshole. That’s a direct quotation, by the way. I deserved it.”

“I’ll thank him the next time I see him.” Kuroo smiled at him, and Kenma just raised his arm and slapped him in the face. “This is oddly comforting.”

“I’ve been told I’m a great punching bag.”

“I’m still mad at you.”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry for slapping you.”

Kuroo offered him a gentle smile. “I was such an asshole to you, you don’t need to apologise for slapping me.”

“I felt bad about it though.” Kenma hesitated for a second, unsure of how to continue. “You were an asshole, but… I accept your apology.”

Kuroo took a couple steps towards Kenma, shortening the distance between them. “You mean a lot to me Kenma. I really _really_ like you, and I sorry I screwed this up.”

“I really like you too.” Kenma said, and Kuroo got closer, taking one of Kenma’s hands in his’.

“So…”

From the front door, Oikawa yelled, “For fucks sake, just kiss him already! Do i have to do everything around here?”

“Oikawa-san has a point.” Shouyou said, leaning on the stair railings.

“Shouyou, I told you to stay in the kitchen” Kenma sighed.

“Why are you here, Oikawa?!” Kuroo yelled.

“I drove you here!” Oikawa yelled back.

Bokuto showed up behind Oikawa, leaning on the doorframe. “Just kiss him, Kuroo!”

“Bokuto- okay why are _you_ here?!” Kuroo was trying to process everything that was happening. Kenma just found the whole situation incredibly funny.

“Bitch, I'm omnipresent. Now just fucking do it!”

“Oikawa are you recording?”

“It's for the group chat.” Oikawa said. “Daichi and Ushiwaka-chan wanted in but had to go to work, so I'm doing my good deed for the day.”

“Oh send it to me too!” Shouyou exclaimed.

“I seriously can't believe you guys.” Kuroo said. “I mean, what the hell, this is –”

“Kuroo!” Everyone yelled in unison, including Kenma, which surprised even himself.

“I'm –” Before Kuroo could say anything else he was cut short by Kenma’s lips crashing hard against his. In the background he could hear the cheers of his friends, but Kenma didn’t mind. He had wanted to do this for _so long_ , it felt like the world could crumble around them and Kenma wouldn’t notice. He just wrapped his arms around Kuroo’s neck and melted into the kiss when he felt Kuroo’s arms around his waist and the smile on his lips.

“HALLELUJAH! PRAISED BE THE BLOOD OF JESUS OUR SAVIOUR AMEN!” Oikawa yelled, never missing an opportunity to be a drama queen.

“You talk a lot when you're nervous.” Kenma said when they broke the kiss.

“I've noticed.” Kuroo said, smiling. “I also bite my lower lip a lot when I wanna kiss someone.”

“You always do that, though.”

“Nah, I just really been wanting to kiss you for like eight months now.”

Kenma chuckled and hid his face on Kuroo’s shoulder. “Why are you like this?”

“You wouldn’t like me if I weren’t.”

“I can’t believe I missed you.”

“I had a whole lot of _saudade_ of you.” Kuroo said. Kenma had no idea what he was talking about, but he didn’t question it.

 

* * *

 

 

**Bruises in the Butt**

_Members: Brokuto (*_   _◎_ _ｖ_ _◎_   _*)_   _, Dadchi, Trash King, Ushiwaks™, You_

From: Trash king

18:27     [video file]

18:27     ur welc

 

From: Brokuto (* ◎ｖ◎ *) 

18:35     noice

 

From: Dadchi

18:38     well that took forever

18:38     I’m happy for both of you, Kuroo

 

From: You

19:02     oikawa why

 

From: Trash King

19:03     ʚ♡⃛ɞ(ू•ᴗ•ू❁)

 

From: Ushiwaks™

19:11      Congratulations, Kuroo

19:11      Why did we change the group chat's name?

 

From: Brokuto (* ◎ｖ◎ *) 

19:12     cause oikawa was complaining about his bruised butt

 

From: You

19:13      he says it's cause he fell in the shower

19:13      but we know

19:13      the world must know

19:14      but it won't cause we're not dickheads

 

From: Trash King

19:14      i hate all of you

 

* * *

 

 

 **Hinata Shouyou** @number1shortie                     2h

today was good day :)

 

 

> **Ice Daddy** @kimvr                                              2h
> 
> **@number1shortie** your boyfriend lost the worlds’ semifinals  ??
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Hinata Shouyou** @number1shortie                   1h
> 
> **@kimvr**  yeah, but I’m talking about something else ;);)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **v(*** **ﾟ** **▽** **ﾟ** ***)v**   @thegreatoikawa                                 34 min
> 
> **@number1shortie @kimvr** ʚ♡⃛ɞ(ू•ᴗ•ू❁)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Bokuto Koutarou** @HOOTHOOT                          30 min
> 
> **@number1shortie @kimvr @thegreatoikawa** ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Kuroo <3  **@theoriginallolcat                               10 min
> 
> **@number1shortie @kimvr @thegreatoikawa @HOOTHOOT** (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*。
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Kenma Kozume** @kenmak                                  8 min
> 
> **@number1shortie @kimvr @thegreatoikawa @HOOTHOOT @theoriginallolcat** why
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Ice Daddy** @kimvr                                               5 min
> 
> **@number1shortie @thegreatoikawa @HOOTHOOT @theoriginallolcat**   **@kenmak**?????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “But Alice!” You say. “The 2015 Men’s Club World Championship was nothing like that!”  
> I know.  
> But  
> It’s fanfiction.
> 
> That time Minhyuk drop kicked Kihyun (because of chicken):  
> https://youtu.be/hMSxteUO9OA?t=2455
> 
> Go see Jeremy Dooley axe kicking a desk:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edvpnfvmEYU
> 
> New fic! It's an iwaoi atla au:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/9894863/chapters/22180850


	17. See You Guys Next Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know what I’m thinking?”
> 
> “That you’re happy for your friend but also just wanna get to the reception already and down some whiskey cause this whole wedding deal is tiring as all hell?”
> 
> “You know me so well, babe.”
> 
> Kenma smiled; he reached for Kuroo’s hand and interlaced their fingers. He had started doing that a lot, Kuroo noticed. “Yeah, but you’re easy. You have, like, five emotions and three of them are variations of ‘drunk’.”
> 
> They weren’t even paying attention to what was going on in the ceremony, but Kuroo mentally apologised to Oikawa and Iwaizumi for not 100% caring at that point. Kenma joking around was still something rather unusual, and something Kuroo liked a lot. “I- I’m feeling so attacked. You, my boyfriend, saying something like that on this day, my son’s wedding.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. This is it guys! I never thought this fic would reach all this attention and love and I'm honestly so thankful! Thank you guys for every comment and all the kudos, it means the world to me <3 
> 
> Now, hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and last one out pause the video ;)

“I think I'm gonna throw up.” Oikawa gagged.

The mere thought that in just a few moments he would be walking down the aisle and marrying Iwaizumi Hajime, and that in those few moments that he had to spare, everything – and he did mean literally _everything –_ could go horribly wrong, had him a tad nervous.

Just a tad.

Unless it suddenly started raining and the band didn’t show up and Iwaizumi decided he didn’t want to marry Oikawa and he was left alone in the mud of the park where the ceremony was happening, husbandless and bandless and –

“I'm definitely going to throw up.”

“Aim it away from me.” Kuroo said disinterested, not even looking up from his phone.

“Tetsu-chan!” Oikawa exclaimed. “I need your support, not your mean words.”

“Oikawa, you're going to be fine. With the amount of planning you put into this wedding, it can't not be perfect. The sky's blue, it's not too hot or too cold outside, you look amazing, the decoration looks amazing, everyone’s already here - that includes guests and staff, by the way - at this point I don't know what could go wrong.”

“What if Iwa-chan doesn't want to marry me anymore?”

“You snore and drool and kick in your sleep and he's never complained and you've been sleeping on the same bed for like 20 years. Nothing you do can make him leave you at this point, Oikawa.”

“What if I embarrass myself at the reception?”

“Just don't do anything I wouldn't do and you'll be fine.”

“Tetsu-chan, the venn diagram of things you wouldn't do and things that can be done by a person is just two separate circles.”

“ _My point,_ is that you don't need to worry, Tooru. Even if the reception is a disaster and the guests leave halfway through the ceremony and it starts to rain and snow at the same time, you're still marrying Iwaizumi fucking Hajime. Imagine how rad it'll be to have that hyphen in your last name. It’ll be really rad.”

“I’m still really nervous.” Oikawa dropped down on a chair in the corner of the room he had set up for getting ready. Outside he could hear the guests talking to each other and the band preparing to play, and he buried his face in his hands.

Kuroo walked over to him and took one of his hands away from his face. “You’re gonna ruin your makeup, stupid.” Kuroo said. He gave Oikawa a reassuring pat on the back and a smile. “You okay?”

Taking a deep breath, Oikawa raised his head and tried to pull himself together as best he could. “I'm great, Tetsu-chan, why do you ask? I don't get shaken so easily.”

“You're so full of shit, Oikawa,” Kuroo said, holding back his laugh.

“So mean to me on my wedding day~”

“Get up, stupid, you need to go get married.”

 

* * *

 

 

“How is he?” Kenma asked as soon as Kuroo sat down next to him.

“A fucking nervous wreck,” He answered. “But he’ll be alright. I think. I hope. If he barfs, just duck out of the way.”

Kenma scooted closer to Kuroo and rested his head on his shoulder. “Well isn’t that reassuring,” He said, sarcastically. “He looks happy. Actually happy, not the ‘I’m smiling but I’m dead inside’ look.”

“You’re getting better at reading people.”

“I guess I am.”

“You know what I’m thinking?”

“That you’re happy for your friend but also just wanna get to the reception already and down some whiskey cause this whole wedding deal is tiring as all hell?”

“You know me so well, babe.”

Kenma smiled; he reached for Kuroo’s hand and interlaced their fingers. He had started doing that a lot, Kuroo noticed. “Yeah, but you’re easy. You have, like, five emotions and three of them are variations of ‘drunk’.”

They weren’t even paying attention to what was going on in the ceremony, but Kuroo mentally apologised to Oikawa and Iwaizumi for not 100% caring at that point. Kenma joking around was still something rather unusual, and something Kuroo liked a lot. “I- I’m feeling so attacked. You, my boyfriend, saying something like that on this day, my son’s wedding.”

“He’s not you son Kuroo,” Kenma said.

“I walked him down the aisle, I have parental rights,” Kuroo refuted.

“Tooru’s older than you.”

“Four months, that doesn’t count. And it’s not like he acts any older than eight. Maybe nine.”

“Shush, they’re saying their vows.”

Kuroo looked around the outdoor venue, taking in the guests, the people of the band, the candles and the ornaments hanging from the trees, the roses, the peonies, the other flowers he couldn’t name but was sure that Oikawa spent weeks stressing over them… everything looked absolutely perfect.

And when the grooms said “I do”, and Oikawa looked less like he was going to throw up and was just crying his eyes out, when Iwaizumi lifted him bridal style and twirled and almost fell, when Oikawa – halfway through the aisle – threw the bouquet to the guests yelling, “Won’t be needing this anymore, bitches!”…

Then Kuroo would be lying if he said he didn’t shed a few tears of happiness for his son.

He’d also be lying if he said he wasn’t recording, he definitely was.

 

* * *

 

 

Akaashi was… absolutely wasted. He shouldn’t have accepted a drink called “Alzheimer” from Kuroo-san. And yet he did. He accepted three of them in fact. After that he didn’t even remember what else he had.

Never, in all of his 25 years of life, did Akaashi ever imagine that Bokuto would be taking care of him. But, as it turns out, his boyfriend was a lot more sober than him. It was a miracle, really.

“Alright, Keiji, let’s take these clothes off and get you in bed,” Bokuto said, helping him up.

“Nooooo,” He protested. “I don’t wanna have sex now… later.”

“What? No- no, it’s just I’m letting you sleep in your suit. That’d be uncomfortable as fuck.”

“Oh… okay then.”

Akaashi’s mind was still unbelievably fuzzy. One moment he was drinking water in the living room, the other he was lying half naked on the bed. Bokuto wasn’t there with him either, which only made him worry more. He needed to find his boyfriend, he couldn’t lose him like tha-

“Hey Keiji,” Oh, Bokuto was just in the bathroom. “Are you sure your tie’s in the bathroom? I can’t find it.”

“No, not _that_ bathroom, the one at the venue,” He answered. Silly Bokuto.

He stared at Akaashi for a few moments before dropping his head. “Kanna’s gonna be pissed.”

“Why?”

“Cause she gave you that tie.”

“Oh. Right.”

Bokuto sat on the bed next to him and pulled the covers so that they covered up to his neck. “Time to go to sleep, babe. Turn over so you don’t choke in your puke.”

“I’m not going to choke on my puke.”

“Yes, ‘cause you’re not sleeping on your back. C’mon, turn.”

“Cuddles.”

“You are a clingy dunk, has anyone ever told you that?” Bokuto laughed, but climbed under the covers on the other side of the bed anyway. Akaashi felt the arms wrapping around his torso and leaned into the touch, until his back was glued to Bokuto’s stomach.

“Koutarou,” He called.

“What?”

“My sister will be pissed about that tie, huh?”

“She will. But we’ll buy her something nice so that she can feel better”

“Koutarou.”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

He could feel Bokuto smiling against his neck. “I love you too, Keiji.”

Akaashi thought should really get drunk more often.

 

* * *

 

 

**Some Real Gay Shit Boi**

_Members: Brokuto (*_   _◎_ _ｖ_ _◎_   _*), Dadchi, Trash King, Ushiwaks™, You_

 

From: You

11:06     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iv3M0nst4xTh31r1stW1n4ssh0l3s

11:06     its private dont worry abt it

 

From: Ushiwaks™

11:08     Akaashi-san had a lot of those Alzheimer drinks, did he not?

11:08     It was a lovely ceremony, Oikawa. The reception was also incredibly fun.

 

From: Brokuto (* ◎ｖ◎ *)

11:09     my sHAME

11:10     YOU RECORDED EVERYTHING YOU BITCH

11:10     yo keiji was fuckedd uppp

From: You

11:10     i had to

11:11     it was hilarious

 

From: Dadchi

11:13     I had a lot of fun yesterday

11:14     Thanks for not recording me, Kuroo

 

From: You

11:15     it was an accident

11:15     couldnt find you anywhere u fuck

 

From: Brokuto (* ◎ｖ◎ *)

11:19     wheres the married man???

11:19     oikawa stop fucking your husband and talk to us

 

From: You

11:19     hes probably sleeping his hangover away

11:19     that bitch

 

From: Brokuto (* ◎ｖ◎ *)

11:20     are u thinking

 

From: You

11:20     and he never leaves his phone on silent sooo

 

From: Brokuto (* ◎ｖ◎ *)

11:20     what im thinking

11:20     u are

11:20     gud

 

From: You

11:21     tyfygukhlin

11:21     yabjhbcsYSBJKSCB

 

From: Brokuto (* ◎ｖ◎ *)

11:21     ukyrilfdk

11:21     XRTFGCJVKBLJ

11:21     1

11:22     2

11:22     3

11:22     4

 

From: You

11:22     I’M THE KING JJ

11:22     NO ONE DEFEATS ME

 

From: Brokuto (* ◎ｖ◎ *)

11:23     5

11:23     6

11:23     7

 

From: You

11:23     THIS IS WHO I AM

 

From: Dadchi

11:23     ?

 

From: You

11:24     BABY JUST FOLLOW MEEEE

 

From: Trash King

11:24     SHUT THE FUCK UP

11:24     I’M TRYING TO SLEEP

 

From: _Brokuto (*_ _◎_ _ｖ_ _◎_ _*)_

_11:25     WAKEY WAKEY BITCH_

_From: You_

_11:25     GOOD MORNING SLEEPING BEAUTY_

_From: Trash King_

_11:26     never thought id say this but fuck i miss ushiwaka_

 

From: You

11:26     congrats oikawa

11:26     marriage is already making you lose your mind

 

 **v(*** **ﾟ** **▽** **ﾟ** ***)v**   @thegreatoikawa                                 2h

Just Married  instagram.com/p/rvBSE4s0N=15hYP3

 

 **Kuroo <3   **@theoriginallolcat                                      1h

 **@thegreatoikawa** retweet if u cri evrytim

 

 **마여진** @chocmuffinns                                           1h

 **@thegreatoikawa @theoriginallolcat** kENMAS LAYING HIS HEAD ON KUROOS SHOULDER ASDFGH

 

 **Kenma Kozume** @kenmak                                         43min

 **@thegreatoikawa @theoriginallolcat @chocmuffinns** yes? He’s my boyfriend? I don’t see what the big deal is

 

 **Kuroo <3  **@theoriginallolcat                                       30min

 **@thegreatoikawa @theoriginallolcat @chocmuffinns @kenmak** savage

 

* * *

 

 

** KenmaKGames  ** _uploaded a new video titled:_

**Let’s Play PT (With Kuroo) | KenmaKGames**

_5 days ago                                                          1,653,738_

Kuroo was leaning his head back, balancing Batnyan directly on his face as Kenma looked at him disapprovingly.

“Kuroo, take the cat off your face.”

“Never!” Kuroo yelled, startling the cat and making it jump to the floor and leave the room. “Batnyan, why.”

“Kuroo, pay attention,” Kenma said, getting up from his chair.

“Alright, what’s up.”

Kenma turned the lights off.

“No.”

“You lost the ice cream bet.”

“Please.”

“It’s time.”

“Kenma I love you, don’t do this to me.”

“We’re playing PT.”

“FUCK!”

The game began with the main character waking up in a dark and filthy room. They walked out of a door into a hallway filled with pictures. The clocked showed it was 23:59 and there was stuff all over the floor.

Kuroo started freaking out when they walked out of the door at the end of the hallway and entered the same hallway. Kenma was finding it more amusing than he should.

It got worse as it went on. Kuroo was on the edge at all times, he jumped at every footstep, whimpered at every little noise. Once the door to the bathroom opened and Kenma told him they had to check it out, it looked like he was actually going to cry.

“I don’t want to check it out,” Kuroo complained. “There- There’s a baby crying in there Kenma, for fucks sake.”

“Just take a look, Kuroo.”

“I already did.”

“No, you have to look closer.”

“Now you just sound like the monkey from The Lion King.”

“Look inside the fucking bathroom.”

When Kuroo did, a ghostly figure closed the door. He screamed and cursed and ponded on the desk with his fists while giving Kenma an ugly look, but he didn’t fall so maybe he was getting better. The next time they went through the hallway, the same figure from the bathroom was standing in front of a blinking light. _That_ made Kuroo fall, and maybe cry, but it couldn’t be seen from off-screen.

“Remember Scotland? Sounds like a good plan now, huh? Let’s go to Scotland,” Kuroo said.

“You can’t solve all of your problems by going to Scotland.”

“Try me.”

Kuroo began using his strategy of only walking backwards halfway through the video, but Kenma forced him to face the right way after a while. That didn’t stop him from going backwards whenever he felt something scary was going to happen, though.

With the changing light colours, the swinging fridge, and the aborted foetus that was just chilling in the sink, Kuroo didn’t make it through the game. He tried his best, but his voice was cracking and getting hoarse from screaming, so his boyfriend took pity on him.

“That was horrible, burn it,” Kuroo mumbled.

“I’m not burning it, we have to finish it.”

“No we fucking don’t. We have to go have a cup of tea and watch some episodes of Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid. Don’t fuck with me, Kenma.”

“Alright, alright, calm down. So, uh... click on Kuroo’s face to subscribe to his channel and all that.”

“You never promote your own channel, you rotten bell pepper! Hey, don’t forget to like, comment and subscribe to KenmaKGames, someone needs to pay for my therapy!”

“Jesus, you’re so extra. And 'like,comment and subscribe', are you serious? That's the lamest line in the world - okay, you know what? Whatever. See you guys next time.”

“Byeeee!”

 

**Wonho’s Right Buttcheek**             _2 days ago_

Kuroo Tetsurou – Ass first into danger

154 likes

 

 **Ally Jones**                                 _1 day ago_

Kenma is enjoying this soooo much the piece of shit XD

98 likes

**Batnyan The Best Cat**                 _1 day ago_

They are so cute together <33333 love u guys!!

_88 likes_

 

> **Hannah L.**                 _16 hours ago_
> 
> Ikr!! Best youtube couple! Can’t believe I’ve been here since before they knew who each other were!
> 
>  
> 
> **Brendon Urie’s Ass**                          _5 hours ago_
> 
> Me too! They’ve come so far <3 I’m happy to see how much they love each other still
> 
>  
> 
> **Lola**                                                 _4 hours ago_
> 
> <33333 All the best to them both! See you next video!
> 
>  

 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this and gave it a little bit of your time, sorry for all the shit and I'll see you guys in the next one!
> 
> which, by the way, it's already here!  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/9894863/chapters/22180850

**Author's Note:**

> If you've never heard of cloudberry kingdom:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WxZ0gF6boU
> 
> If you didn't get what the hell Bokuto's story is, you need this in your life:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lE8SXJyy1Ic
> 
> (Slight promo for myself in the end there follow me at royal-society-of-pandas.com)
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos and comments make me really happy just throwing that out there


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